dating a sweetheart
 

Ok so im in a bit of an unusual situation .. after a real late nite of partying .... i end up hooking up with a sweet heart of another farternity ... now this was about a week ago ..a nd we have become kinda close ...talking a lot and hanging out .... im just kinda worried about the implications ...more for her than me ... i mean i really like the guys in the glo that she is sweet heart for and i dont want to disrespect them .... anyone been in this position or have any feedback i would greatly appreciate it

She's just their sweetheart... unless "sweetheart" is code for "girl we've all gangbanged". SO I would say do nothing- her vagina is not their property. However, I would treat her nicely and respectfully (not that you wouldn't), so that you don't wind up getting your ass kicked.

Hi, I love you.

I never really understood the "sweetheart" concept, at all, but it's not like she's their property. She's free to do whatever the hell she wants, and if they don't like it, they're a bunch of territorial assholes, so who cares.

just to clarify ... no one is kicking my ass ... just so you all know

so i take it by sweetheart you mean shes not dating any of them? if shes not its fair game. here sweethears date someone in the organization. i think that if she is okay with it and not dating any of them its fine

How often do fraternities choose sweethearts? Are sweethearts' reigns like pageants? Yearly?

I never understood the concept of the title either (and with what little I know, I think it's just stupid)...but they chose her because she obviously has done a lot for the chapter (hoping that she's not the chick they all gangbanged like cc said). I seriously doubt there's a clause that says "BY ACCEPTING THIS TITLE, WE WILL DICTATE WHO YOU CAN AND CANNOT DATE."

If I were her, and I end up meeting a guy from another fraternity that I really liked, nothing would stop me from getting to know him. And if a bunch of frat boys tell me otherwise, they'd get new ones ripped. Just exactly what kind of "implications" for her are you talking about? Being blackballed by the fraternity? Her own sisters even? If so, that's just so friggin' high school. :rolleyes:

different fraternities choose sweethearts different ways. most often, the sweetheart is the girlfriend of a brother. she has supported the fraternity during recruitment, at their im events, etc. sometimes they are not girlfriends at all, but girls who act like a little sister and are friends with lots of the chapter members. still others are chosen thru a sort of pageant, usually held in conjunction with the fraternity's fundraising for their philanthropy. it all depends.

again, most often, a girl would be the sweetheart for one year.

a friend of mine was sigma nu sweetheart when she was a senior. as a freshman, she had become friends with one of the sigma nu pledges, he invited her to a party, she became a little sister and supported sigma nu thru out her time at fsu. she never dated any of the brothers. they truly looked on her as a little sister, and woe to the guy who didn't treat her nice!!

i'm a sweetheart. in my situation, we're sweethearts from the time we're picked up (anytime in our four years at the college) until the time we graduate and beyond. i was picked up as a freshman.

no, i didn't date any of the brothers. i was simply at the house all the time, supported them in rushing and in all their philantropic endeavors, and very good friends with most of the brothers.

they don't have any say on who i date or who i'm friends with. they care, but just as my friends and sisters would. they defend me and all that good jazz, but they're like my brothers, and brothers defend by definition. the little sister idea is the best one i've heard.:D

i love being a sweetheart! :cool:

At my school, a fraternity sweetheart was selected (depending on the fraternity) as a "sweetheart" pageant/talent competition winner or as someone the chapter voted on to hold their Sweetheart title. In either case, the Sweetheart title is just that-- a title. No one can tell a woman who she can and cannot date.

Have fun and be a gentleman.

I dated the Tri-Sig sweetheart. They didn't kick my ass. A DZ dated our sweetheart. We didn't kick hers either.

This fraternity will probably check you out and keep an eye on you and make sure you're an OK guy - just like any caring brothers would do - but unless she is the girlfriend of a brother, I don't think you need to worry about it.

I have a sister that was on the sweetheart court for one fraternity, and during that year, she was lavaliered by a brother of another fraternity....unfortunately, the fraternity she was on the court for, relinquished her sweetheart court status....but there were no hard feelings....at all.

I think it's different at every school. If you don't know now, you'll find out soon....

Yikes. I'm glad there were no hard feelings! If this happened at schools around my area, that fraternity would have gotten accused of sexual harassment. I think a lot of people around here would have felt that situation was akin to an employer firing a woman for getting married.

And congratulations, asigs...good luck on wherever things may take you with you and the girl. I definitely think there's room for her to be *your* sweetheart as well, if that's where it ends up heading.

I always thought the sweetheart was a little odd. I understood it when it was a fraternity brother's girl friend . . that was like a kind of cool thing to do for him (makes her all starry eyed) even more than for her.

A girl that was a non-girl friend that got the title sweetheart was basically a frat groupie, or Frat Rat.

I am not sure totally sure its a compliment because its it sort of goes to a girl that is needy enough that she gets adopted by a whole house full of guys. . . but I suppose that boosts her self esteem.

Of course I am sure there are other more noble reasons to get nominated sweetheart also :)

This is one of several posts today that have rocked my world. Thank you all for entertaining me.

thanks for all the feedback... just an up date.... things are going great and she is now my girlfriend and i could not be happier