Personal blogs and DPhiE
 

Hey ladies :) An interesting convo just started in the Sorority Alumnae yahoo group about this topic and how people's personal blogs/sites affect the org as a whole. For example, pics of sisters drinking in letters, underage drinking, etc. Is DPhiE headquarters addressing this at this point? What about you actives and how do you deal with this personally with your chapter? Do any of you contact members of our org if you come across something questionable? Even if what someone is doing is not DPhiE-related, if they have DPhiE on their personal site, it can still reflect negatively on us as a whole. Just thought this would be an interesting topic of discussion :).

This definitely is interesting because I'm sure each and every chapter deals with this issue, as mine does. I'm also somewhat nervous about replying to it because I might not have the same opinions as HQ and the rest of you!

Well, as far as pictures of drinking in letters...thats not allowed so obviously pictures of it NEED to be addressed and the offending sisters need to be dealt with.

Pictures/stories of other non-wholesome but non-DPhiE related activity is a touchy area. (For me at least). The atmosphere becomes really really repressive when you have your sorority monitoring every aspect of your life, including online blogs, which are rarely taken seriously. I guess its possible that someone reading a blog in which DPhiE is listed in the Bio, and then pictures of the girl going crazy on Spring Break with friends from home could construe it as crazy sorority girl behavior and maybe look down on her organization? But most people who are perusing these sites arent so puritan or appalled by a college girl acting a little wild. Its my opinion that non-sorority activity should not be punished. Otherwise it's as if we're headed towards this Big Brother (Sister? haha) mentality which can be stifling. I just feel strongly about this because I was punished for something I did while not representing DPhiE. It was a long time ago and I'm not upset anymore, but I do think there has to be some separation even if there is a slight possibility that people could relate some actions to our organization. If were NOT in letters, if we're not at a sorority event, we arent officially representing our sorority. (Granted we are ALWAYS unofficially representing it, and I'm not condoning a sister going buckwild all the time, but sisters/alumni need to see that a college girl getting very drunk or doing something stupid isnt going to seem as shocking to outsiders or so connected with her Greek affiliation.) We are not pure sparkling white angels, or girls from our Grandmothers era and NO one expects us to be such ALL the time. We should hold ourselves to a higher standard, but all of our separate activity shouldnt be policed, and this goes for personal websites as long as we're not attributing anything unsavory with Delta Phi Epsilon.

OK, I ramble...but I love my organization and our principles more than most things in my life and I want everyone to see us in a positive light, so dont misinterpret anything I've posted!!

PM me if you want to discuss further!! :D


Whew!

Excellent points PureGold :). I have the sorority listed on my Myspace page and it has never been in the top of my mind that DPhiE is the first thing people will look at about me (especially since I am out of college now ;) ). I tend to as a rule not want to post anything too incriminating about me though because you never know who is going to see it, and I think that a lot of stuff like that shouldn't be made public anyways.

Off topic, sort of, but are you the one who posted on the DPhiE Myspace group about this same thing? If so, I'm the moderator of that group and thats kind of a fun coincidence! :)

Always a DPhiE
 

I am sorry if this sounds like I am on a soapbox--but I just want to offer some thoughts on "non-sorority" things vs. "sorority things." Once initiated you are always a DPhiE. Its not something you can take off or put on like a pair of shoes--I believe that each of us has the privilege of being a representative of the organization at all times and in all places, and the responsibility to represent all of our sisters well. This is especially true if you advertise that you are a member.

I cannot say it any better than our past president Dawn McNulty (previously shared in this forum by another sister): "D Phi E challenges me on a daily basis to live up the oath I took as a sister, to be comitted to Justice, Sisterhood, and Love, to live by our motto- "Esse Quam Videri" -To Be Rather Than Seem To Be. The people I encounter throughout my daily life may not know of Delta Phi Epsilon or that I am a member, but they should know by my actions that I am a caring person committed to the principles above, and the world should be a better place for my contribution."

I think our sorority should help our members develop socially and we should have fun together. But we need to remember that the actions of one, can, and often do, affect the reputation of many. As an alumna, I want to honor my sisters and our founders--I want my letters to always symbolize justice, sisterhood and love. If that is something you care about, then each individual has a responsibility to maintain that themselves. I am not sure much would be accomplished by going after people individually--because I question whether or not they "get it" anyway.

On the topic of whether it has been addressed, the International Headquarters did send something out to ever chapter this past semester addressing this issue specifically, and has done so several times over the last few years.

I'll get off the soapbox now. :)

Yes, that's me. I also agree with what Heather said too. You know, even if we weren't in a sorority, you gotta realize that what we post all over the internet reflects how we are as a person, and again, anyone could see it. For example, would one want their boss to see some of the stuff that is posted about them? ;).

On this matter - before talking to a sister about something or an act you don't approve of or even a whole group of sisters don't approve of, ask if you're justifying your judgement and your reaction with the our sorority's motto and standards. I love our sorority and its message to pieces but its really a unifying, non-specific statement -'to be rather than to seem to be.' I've heard it used at a convention to justify not being dressed up at rush and then I've heard it from other chapters "off the record" as it were as a justification to be really wild.

Yes, our ideals are clearly stated - but I think our founders' and nationals wouldn't want their ideals and our standards to be used to create standards or a way of life because its the proper, right way. They would want us constantly questioning whether each person was being honest to herself and if she was coming from a caring, nonjudgemental place when speaking to other women about their lives and the ways they live. If I learned anything while in D Phi E, it was that I should always step back and ask myself if I just want to have others hear my opinions or if my opinion will truly help somebody other than myself. And if its the latter to keep my mouth shut.

But in general, drinking in letters truly appalls me and each sister should always be questioning the good and honesty in her actions. Talk the talk, walk the walk and never accept mediocrity. And I'm off my soapbox to fold laundry.

Esse Quam Videri
 

If one is familiar with our history, it would seem that "To be, rather than to seem to be" was selected as out motto in reaction to the discrimination faced by some of our founders, not necessarily an ode to being free to do whatever you want. Our founders were five young Jewish women, and, in 1917, many of the established sororities had membership policies or philosophies that used religion or creed as a criteria for membership. Our motto challenges those ideals--if we are committed to true sisterhood and support for women, then why limit ourselves based on religion or creed? This is also why we were founded as one of the first non-sectarian organizations.

It is my opinion that Esse Quam Videri is about "walking the walk, and talking the talk," not about a right to be an individual who freely does what she wants regardless of how it may affect others. It is a challenge to each of us to live by our membership oath and, in respect to our history, be committed to a sisterhood that is educated about and tolerant of other religions and cultures. The beauty of DPhiE is that we are in Florida, South Texas, New York and Wisconsin--and we're all sisters because we took an aoth to the same basic values and understandings. That is, in my opinion, is what Esse Quam Videri celebrates.

Soapbox
 

Great soapbox, Heather17! I'll jump right up on there with ya!

Iris