Depression Questions
 

My sister has been battling eating disorders and depression almost all her life. She is 31. I am so worried about her. She looses her jobs because all she does is sleep. I don't know what to do to help her. She has been to therapists, clinics, support groups. She has been on numerous meds but nothing has helped.

I want to be there for her. Should I just drive her to a treatment facility??? It's driving me crazy and my family crazy. We don't know what she is going through, but we want to be there for her. All she says is "nothing, no one can help me." I am really scared. I tried to call her at work this morning and they said she didn't show up. I have called and called her cell; no answer. I have even left a text message for her boyfriend to let her know to call me. How can I stop worrying?? I feel like I have a child, and I am the little sister! Oh, and did I mention that her boyfriend is a complete asshole??

What do I do to help her? Does anyone else have family members that are going thru this situation? What have you done to help them? I feel like if I don't force her to get help she is going to die. It's killing me.

Re: Depression Questions
 

Yeah, I'm pretty concerned about that phrase. She has no more hope. That's pretty serious in depression. Get her all the help she needs. Is she talking to a therapist and/or taking anti-depressants?

not currently, but she has taken every med imaginable and been to sooo many therapists. I don't know what to do. I am sitting here in my office trying to get a hold of her. No answer.

I'm scared for her.

Depression and all the stuff tied into it like you mention is one of the most difficult illnesses to treat. I know as a mental health provider I often feel helpless when I work with severely depressed clients. The first thing I can recommend is for you and your family to get support in ways to deal with your sister. Family support groups can work wonders and help you identify resources in your community for your sister. A good place to find info is through the NAMI website. I think it is www.nami.org. It should list a chapter in your community and also have links for other resources. I can tell your sister is not ready for work at this point in her life. If in the future, she is, there are programs like Supported Employment or VESID (don't know the term in your state) which help people with severe illnesses maintain employment. Basically how it works is she would have the option to disclose to her employer that she is sick and may need to be out of work from time to time and then they can't fire her. Regarding the medication, it doesn't make you feel better overnight. It takes weeks sometimes for a severely depressed person to start to feel better, and because of this, this is usually the reason they take their self off it because they can't see the bigger picture and hope of feeling better. At this point, and from how severe things sound from your post, I can only really recommend an inpatient hospitalization for a long time so she can at least allow the meds to work through her system.

thanks, winney. I am going to get right on doing some research of groups for my family to go to. I want to understand her illness better, but I am not in her shoes. She always calls me for advice and I simply tell her that I can be there emotionally, but cannot give her advice like a trained proffessional can. She gets pissed. I am not a therapist, ya know??

She didnt go to work today, which means she is probably going to get fired and her insurance was about to take effect June 1st. So, therefore treatment is going to be expensive. I have given her all the money I can give her. I can't pay her bills, I can barely manage to pay mine. She has also filed Chapter 11, which means she has no credit, no way to help her pay for anything. It's a big mess.

You may want to try this: What to Do When Someone You Love Is Depressed by Mitch Golant.

I've heard mixed reviews about it; I haven't had a chance to read it myself.

You are her sister, not her parent. Your parents need to take on some responsiblity IMO.

Though, detaching sounds like something you need to begin to learn. It is hard, I know. My dad is an alcoholic, best friend is a drug addict and I had to sever one tie completely and detach a bit more to the other.

YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

I know it's hard and you love your sister but it sounds like your parents may have to put her in a hospital for severe in patient treatment and then take it from there.

If you think she is suicidal, by law the police needs to take her and they will put her in the hospital for observation.

Your sister definitely needs help. If she doesn't have health insurance, medicaid or medicare can be an option. Her depression might be considered a disability through Social Security. I know someone who went through something similar. It was a rough road, but now she is up and functioning.

While these are valid points, often parents are in denial of how severe their child's problem is. I think that if the family can come together as a unit and be supportive, even at different times (because it is extremely draining working with someone who is severely depressed) that is the best option. Also, in our society, there still is major stigma attached to depression and often many people feel that people who are depressed can just "snap out of it". Plus we also do not know the relationship this woman has with her parents. Maybe her sister is the person who can help get through to her.

Some other things I can think of are trying to get her involved in some kind of case management service. Often a neutral force like a Social Worker/Case Manager can help actually escort her to her appointments (where she would normally give the family a hard time), as well as expedite the entitlements process in areas such as Medicaid and other benefits. I also wanted to mention if you do call the police, try to have as much concrete documentation of her condition as possible (ie. full pill bottles, treatment providers names/#'s, etc.). The only reason I say this is because recently, me and my supervisor had to call 911 on a client. She presented extremely well when the police arrived because obviously she did not want to go to the hospital. The police and EMT's were there for over an hour and it got to the point almost that they thought we were the ones with the issue making up stuff. Now I have learned that if I suspect I may ever need to hospitalize a client against their will, I bring their chart with me into the field to show the police/EMT's when they arrive. This is also an extreme, but in many states, if the person is a constant danger to self and has recurring hospitalizations, and is non-compliant with their meds/treatment, they can be mandated to treatment by the court. This usually works to help people get the help they need to stay well. Please feel free to PM me at any time as well.

yes, you should drive her to the treatment facility herself. It sucks but you need to.

Also, I hope you and family can help her, she is in hell right now. Listen, you can help her by going to see her. Make her get up and out of her house/apt/where she lives.

Thank you to everyone that replied on this post. It's helped me understand her better.

Winney, i'll PM you sometime and let you know how things are. Thanks again! :)

I just Love it! It isnt Better Living Through Drugs!:mad:

Screw The FDA!

Sounds like a deprograming job.

Life is real, eat, progress or die.:confused:

UlChiOCutie26, I am not trying to make light of this situation, but it is extreme. I am in hopes that You and someoine can help Her.

Hi. I also wanted to encourage you as much as you can to try to take her to the hospital yourself. Yesterday I had to have a severely depressed client of mine hospitalized against her will. It was a big scene to say the least. She didn't want to go with me voluntarily so I had to call 911. 10 police officers showed up, along with 3 other EMT's..... and they were these big huge guys (she's like 5'1). She became extremely irate when this happened and they had to cuff her and drag her out of her apartment kicking and screaming, literally. All the neighbors were gathered around watching the whole ordeal. I know she was embarrassed, as was I. These are situations we hope to avoid but when someone is threatening to kill themselves, we need to take them seriously.