Fairytales linked to domestic violence?
 

A little extreme, don't you think??

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...n_050422114707

Of course correlation does not imply causation, but the concept kind of makes sense to me -- but then I don't like fairy tales and think the idea of a "fairy tale" romance is pretty creepy.

They kinda discussed this on Oprah today and addressed how in cases of the "fairy tale" love where people say "the minute I saw him I knew he was the one" "he swept me off my feet" etc should be warning signs. Basically implying that if he's too good to be true it probably is. You could possibly extend that to what this article is saying by perhaps arguing that guys who have a rap sheet or something to hide might put more of an effort in to win a girl over with charms in hopes that they will turn the other cheeck to their major flaws. And girls who are looking for guys who will treat them like in the fairy tales will fall for that.

I teach in a jail 2 nights a week and these guys are some of the most charming men I know, even those who are from, shall we say, sorry families. They're extremely polite--they open doors for women and use "ma'am" all the time, even those who aren't in my GED class and therefore can't benefit from being polite to me.

But...I know that a good number of them have committed domestic violence because I see them heading up the stairs for the required class that the abusers have to take.

As someone who divorced due to domestic violence, I don't feel that this is the least bit extreme. Those of us who enjoyed the Grimm Brothers, Hans Christian Anderson, Rousseau versions of fairy tales (not the sanitized, ruined Disney versions) fell into a different point of view of "happily ever after".

After giving up everything she is or was, including her family, the Beauty marries the Beast, who now looks like a Prince.

The Little Mermaid endures the constant feeling of walking on glass shards (walking on eggs?) to have feet and to be with her Prince - who ignores her for another.

etc, etc.

So, what do we expect? We expect our Princes to be (in reality) beasts, and to ignore us. We give up our families, our familiar backgrounds, our very being, our names, in order to "win" our Princes. This is just off the top of my head; I'm sure I could make a better case with some research.

Add this to what Carnation just wrote about abusers (and yes, they are charming, beautiful, well-mannered men - AT FIRST!), and you'll realize it's not a stretch at all.

PS - FWIW, the week before I got married - and he had never laid a hand on me! - I dreamed of "The Beauty and the Beast" every night! I saw that as a good sign at the time! :rolleyes:

I think I'll be buying my niece toolsets and "baby's first dyke outfit" instead of books and girly-things.