NPC and Chapter - how do you balance it?
 

I have a question for all the ladies out there who have been active members of their respective chapters and have also sat on NPC Executive board.

How do you still maintain being an XYZ, bleeding your colors, and still sit on NPC Executive Board, fairly removed from your chapter?
How do you _not_ sit with your sisters at a mens' fraternity-sponsored philanthropy and cheer them on but instead sit away from them in a spot reserved for NPC, politely cheering everyone on?
How do you deal with women in your chapter giving sideglances as they talk about something and as you come up they shush themselves and change the topic of conversation?
How do you deal with wanting desperately to help your chapter but know that they wouldn't want your help because they don't see you as an XYZ but only as an NPC Executive Board member?

How do you balance it?

Fortunately in my chapter on my campus you are only required to be an NPC executive and remove yourself from direct dealings with the chapter during the lead up to formal recruitment and the week of until girls have accepted their bids. Since we do formal recruitment in September it's about the first half of september that you are disassociated with them. It isn't too bad, you learm to only go to school when you have classes, too hard otherwise to not talk to your sisters. I still attended chapter, because everyone at our school has chapter in the same building and it is only greeks allowed into it.
It was lonely for the month but I knew my sisters were anxious for me to return to them and that made it alot easier. As for how i helped them, I considered making sure that every PNM had a fun and safe recruitment period to be helping them. I really enjoyed being VP of Panhel on my campus I think it offers you a unique opportunity to step back from your sisters and see how the rest of the campus views you.
Feel free to PM if you have any specific questions you want to talk about I would be more than happy to help as I just handed over my executive position to the incoming officers this weekend.

I have never heard of an NPC position being so strict (with the exception of formal recruiment as mentioned before). Maybe approach the council about easing up on the rules.

Our Panhellenic council doens't require that kind of distancing form ones chapter unless it's recruitment time. The officers are there to voice the opinion of their chapter, so it stands to reason they should be able to communicate with the chapter so they know the wants and needs of chapter and tell the chapter what Panhell is thinking too.

The way I always understood it was that the chapter delegates are there to represent the best interests of their chapters. The officers are there to run Panhel and make sure that relations between the sororities and the school are positive. At my school, while officers were required to disaffiliate during recruitment, they didn't have to be as segregated as you describe.

As for how you do it, you just suck it up and do it. You remind yourself and your sisters that if it weren't for Panhel, there wouldn't be sororities on most campuses. And you remember that you were slated for Panhel because your sisters trust you to represent the chapter and see that it gets a fair shake. Yeah, it can be infuriating to have to be neutral. The only people who have it worse are Rho Chis. If your sisters truly don't see you as a member of the chapter, then it's time that you (possibly with the help of the standards board) address the chapter and remind them why your job is important.

I know it's stressful. My little sis and I grew apart the year she was Panhel Prez because I didn't feel that I could talk to her about stuff (how annoyed I was with the XYZs, etc.) for fear of being accused of being un-Panhellenic. But I always appreciated what she did. Panhel grew a lot stronger with her in charge because a lot of the infighting was put to bed, or at least suppressed.

It's like being the Secretary-General of the UN. Yes, you are at the UN to make sure that your country's best interests are put forth. However, the UN is there to make sure that the world's best interests are put forth. If there isn't a world, there won't be individual countries.

I'm sorry this isn't more coherent; it's late and I'm rambling. But I feel for you. I know it's hard when your sisters see you as a traitor. And that suggests to me that something's broken in your system. Panhel shouldn't be seen as the enemy, and you're in the position to improve its reputation on campus. The more unified the sororities are, the stronger Panhel is, and the stronger Panhel is, the better off the individual organizations are going to be.