Causal Claim Essay About Greek Life
 

Hey everyone, finally found a place to ask this question, I need some feedback, everyone is in encouraged. Rough Draft is due tomorrow (after told what to do yesterday) and I'm having a bit of a hard time with this causal claim.

Causal Claim: By increasing the showing of the benefits of Greek Life Organizations will lead to an increase of GLOs by a richer turn out of people during recruitment.

Does it sound well? My professor attempted to help me, but he only made me confused.

Jeff