Dates for Weddings
 

Can someone explain why it seems to be SOOOO imperative to some people that they have a date to bring with them to a wedding?

No one in my family seems to want to get married, so I've only been to two in my entire life, but I never felt like I needed to bring a date....

Why do you feel/not feel that a date is a necessary accessory at someone elses's wedding?




Let's discuss...

It really all depends on how well you know people who will be there -- if you know a ton of people, it's not so important to bring a date. It's more important when you're going to the wedding of a casual friend or when you won't know many people -- it can get quite boring to hang out with a bunch of couples you don't know terribly well if you're alone.

I was in a wedding for a sister in August and the bride and groom decided that when it came to inviting their group of friends unless you've been dating someone for a very long time you were did not get an "and guest" invite. I wasnt seeing anyone at the time and so since all the single people can solo it was so much fun! There were definitely matches made during the course of the reception ;).

But I think that some people feel the need to bring dates if they think they need to show off. Especially if there is a former fling there or someone they want to upstage some will go rush out to find a date. People sometimes forget that the point of a wedding is to celebrate the couple not try and get yourself in the spotlight for coming with a good looking date.

I also think a date for a wedding is also only really neccesary for weddings where you don't know many people. For sisters weddings I have never felt the need to bring dates because I know so many people there. I actually didn't bring my boyfriend at the time to an egagement party (which was fine with him) b/c I knew he wouldn't have a good time since e didn't know many people there.

With weddings being so expensive I have told sisters they do not need to invite me with a date. Why should they have to pay more money just for me to have someone on my arm.

When the midshipman we sponsored got married two Octobers ago, I went technically dateless because Mr. KR was deployed to the United Arab Emirates at the time. I was actually a little nervous because I knew I wouldn't know that many people there so I wondered where I'd sit, who I'd talk to, etc. So I can definitely understand someone's reluctance to go alone. That doesn't mean, however, that one can demand to be allowed to bring a date.

Luckily, my other mids were there and the groom's family all knew about my husband being away and they all made a special effort to make sure I was never by myself (which I really appreciated).

There really is no reason to have a date at a wedding. Presumably you will know at least a few other people there, and if the bride and groom do their job right, you'll be seated with them. So meet new people and have fun! You never know who you're going to meet (as DZGirl just attested ;) ).

If your wedding invitation doesn't say "and guest", you do not get to bring a date or twist the bride's and groom's arms to invite someone for you to have on your arm. Weddings are expensive enough as it is! However, both members of a married, engaged, or living-together couple should be invited.

Besides, if you bring a date, it's hard to flirt with the hot groomsmen.

hehehe.

I totally agree. There was a 6-month window that I was single almost exactly a year ago and both the bride and groom of a wedding I was attending were very good friends of mine.

I knew most of guests... what I DIDN'T know was the groom had a very nice-looking and charming younger brother (he was my age).... :D

He lived too far for anything to happen on the relationship level, but we're really great pals now :)

So you see... dates to weddings aren't always the way to go.. you never know.. you might meet the grooms hot younger brother :p

When my sorority sister got married last year, her wedding was over three hours away from where I live. I knew I couldn't stand the six-plus hours in the car by myself and it wasn't an option to carpool with anyone else because I was living back home. So I asked this guy I really liked. It turned out great...he got along with my friends really well and I had a wonderful time. Now we've been together for over a year and just looked at rings! You just never know what might come of wedding dates!

I really like this thread! I think that some of us tend to equate weddings with semi-formal and formal date parties. We're used to having a date. I used to get miffed if my invitations didn't say "plus guest." But I've realized over the years that it isn't my call, and I'm there to share in my friends' special day!

But realistically, the wedding is a party where the bride and the groom dictate the guest list. It's THEIR event, and they should invite whomever they please.

However, I do think it only logical if you're attending solo that there should be some opportunity for you to meet other guests prior to the wedding, through the pre-wedding events. Esp. if you're coming from out of town and know only the bride/groom.

Agreed, some people include their out of town guests at the rehearsal dinner and I think its a fabulous idea.

I forgot to add earlier that this summer at the wedding I was in, the entire bridal party had such a blast together (and we were all single and didnt bring dates) that one of the groomsmen is planning a trip to Oktoberfest in Germany next year for all of us. One week in september, everyone pays for their own tickets, we all split the cost of hotel and we get to spend a week together that is definitely a lot less stressful than the week before a wedding and we dont have to worry about waking up the day of a wedding with a hangover ;).

I don't see why there's a need if you're friendly with the couple of part of the family. The only way I'd see for it to be a problem is if you don't really know anyone at the wedding, or if you ONLY knew the bride and groom and thus had no one else to talk to.

On the other hand, you're at an event celebrating the love two people have for one another. If someone is uncertain/uncomfortable with their own relationship situation, I can see how it would be awkward in that way.

I've only been to three weddings (and am going to at least one more before my own), and both have been since I've been dating my fiancee, so a date has never been a problem.

With our wedding, it's good in that there are groups of people who know each other. There's not really any one person who doesn't have a connection to another group invited (i.e. group of friends from school, family friends and family).

since I started college, i've been to 3 weddings. Two I took dates to, one I did. The two times that i've taken dates, i've had to babysit them. The one wasn't too bad, but the other refused to dance, and I had to drag him up to dance floor for even a slow dance (and he wasn't a random date, was my at that time boyfriend). I ended up having less fun at that one because I couldn't really be with my friends, since I couldn't just leave him there because he didn't know anyone.

The wedding that I didn't take a date to, I had the BEST time, met the infamous navy boy ;) etc.

One of my littles is getting married in March, and i'm in the wedding. I know i'm going to be debating whether or not to bring my bf (well, if he's still around then). On one hand, I want to not have to worry about someone else when i'm trying to be a bridesmaid, but on the other hand, I only really know the bride and one of the other bridesmaids. I've met the other ones, but don't really know them. But then again, she wants to invite more people that she knows b/c else it'll all be her hubby's (super religious, non-drinking) family who won't be any fun! (there will be alcohol!). Who knows?

Obviously if you are married engaged or otherwise a "unit" bringing a date seems kind of obligatory .. unless you lucked out and thy didn't have a provision for them to come.

I guess bringing a date in other circumstances has a lot to dowith your people skills.

If you have excellent or even good people skills you will meet others and have fun no matter what the situation. Even if the wedding only had the elderly in attendance.

On the other hand. If your people skills aren't so good, and you kind of have a child like need for attention and entertainment . . . and can't deal with the possible prospect of being "bored" for a infintesimal amount of time like a couple hours of your life.

If you can't do that for a good enough friend that invites you to share an important experience with them . . . well I guess you need to think about brining a date :p

Random observation: Why do girls expect men that don't dance to suddenly start dancing just because its that kind of event?

I mean do you ladies expect them to spontaneously generate both the knowledge and desire to start dancing even though they have never done so before?

That doesn't seem rational. :p