Sticky Situation
 

Ok, here's the deal:

A girl that I grew up with and used to be really close to has decided to go through informal recruitment as a junior this year. She and I are no longer close and she isn't considering my house at all. However, she is seriously considering two other chapters on campus one of which is struggling so much that they basically have to extend bids to anyone interested or they won't stay afloat for another year. I have, directly and indirectly, heard this girl say horrible things about the sisters in these houses and about Greek life in general. The reasons she has for rushing aren't honorable either. I just don't know if I should alert these houses to her behaviour or let them find out for themselves. Basically, I think that if left in the dark the struggling house will definitely extend her a bid.

We've been trying to promote the Greek system as a whole on our campus by helping each other organizations and looking out for each other. This girl is not someone I want representing the Greek community at Ohio State.

What do you think?

I think you should keep your personal business out of recruitment, and let this woman have a chance to make friends. We all say stupid things from time to time, and if she is saying mean things about other chapters, word does tend to travel. She won't last long in recruitment if that is the case, and if she joins a chapter where she doesn't fit, she or they will come to realize it and part company soon enough.

If you write a letter to the chapter presidents of the sororities she is COB'ing, your name might get thrown in the mud, and it could be very uncomfortable for you.

Let your ex-friend go through recruitment. People do change over time, and do grow. Let her have a chance to make that change.

I'm confuse, if the girl has been saying things about one of the houses, then why is she considering rushing them? If you have friends that you're close with in those houses, you can mention something to them. Otherwise, it might look like you're trying to be petty, especially if they know that you aren't really close with that girl anymore.

Geez, 80,000 kids on that campus and she just happens to rush?

At any rate, I think that it would be best if you let these other chapters find out about this girl. If she has no intention of rushing your house, than it's really not up to you to say anything that could affect her rush anywhere else. I think the girls in the other houses are smart enough to see through her ;). I think even the most desperate of houses wouldn't let a really crappy PNM in. Plus it's not like there aren't thousands of other girls at OSU who would like bids.

I agree. Let the other chapters meet her and decide for themselves.

If she's badmouthing sisters and greek life, (a) the sisters probably already know it, and (b) why is she even rushing??

Even a chapter that's struggling because of numbers should recognize that a given PNM is unsuitable and have the strength not to bid her if it would damage the chapter.

I'd let her rush and let other houses decide for themselves. Even if the struggling group does extend her a bid, I doubt she will single handedly cause the to become defunct. I'd let sleeping dogs lie.

If this girl is going around badmouthing the sororities and the chapters she's considering, word will spread.

I'm sad, however, to hear that yet another chapter at OSU is struggling. This just should not be happening at Ohio State.

I have to agree w/ adpiucf.

I was in a similar situation to yours some time ago .. the only difference being we weren't really "best friends" anymore, but we still talked once in awhile, so it's not like we weren't friends at all.

The first time she went thru recruitment, she'd call me everyday (she was at a different school) and tell me how the parties went, which ones she liked, etc. She'd also say petty things like "I don't know if I want to join this sorority beacuse they call themselves a fraternity and fraternities are for guys" (:rolleyes: ) Or "I like this group's colors and symbols better than the rest of the sororities on my campus" or even "I like this sorority better because their letters look more greek" :p :rolleyes: I kinda got irritated with her, and tried talking to her about sisterhood and stuff like that, that make GLOs worthwhile.. so what if they are a women's fraternity? or their colors are neon green and electric yellow and they look cool?

She didn't get a bid that year, but she rushed again and had a totally different mind.. she grew up, and she ended up finding what she really wanted : sisterhood.

Moral of the story, I would just let your friend be. Unless it's your chapter she's talking about (which I'm assuming it's not b/c of what you said), I wouldn't get involved with talking to the other presidents/recruitment vps about it.

As much as it will hurt you to accomplish it, this is your big chance to learn the value of discretion. She's not interested in your GLO, and you really, honestly don't know what the other GLOs are looking for.

If you want to talk to her one on one ("tell me why you even want to go through rush if you're really not into the whole sisterhood part?"), that's one thing. Saying something to another GLO is simply none of your business.