Yes "I" need advice
 

Ok Sorors,Sisterfriends and Friends,

Help a sistah our here...I have a male friend who was by my side through my divorce and another fallen relationship...the pain, the crying, the whole nine.

The other day he told me that I am the epitome of a lady and wants a relationship and that he's often wondered "what if" as far as relationship is concerned. I guess you are are waiting for the problem. That's it...I have only dated one man since I divorced and that was for only 3 months. I don't know what to do ya'll!!!

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Director #2
LMAC, Spr 99
Galveston Council of Greeks NPHC, President

[This message has been edited by DirectorDST99 (edited December 14, 2000).]

Hey! The first question I have to ask before I can give you sound advice is how long have you been divorced? OK, I have more questions! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif How long after the divorce did you date man #2, and how long have you known the friend who has been there through the whole thing? I'll wait for your response!
DST '91! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/cool.gif

Director, how do YOU feel about this guy? If you have Zero attraction to him and you only see him as a friend then you need to keep it as a "friends-only" relationship.

But, on the other hand, if you ARE attracted to him, then you need to act on it. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif


Mz.SL

[This message has been edited by Mz. Sports Luva (edited December 14, 2000).]

Any man who can be described as

is the kind of man who is definitely worth a try!

He obviously cares a great deal about you, and, he has respected you enough to wait until he feels you're ready before letting you know what's been on his mind (as opposed to stepping in when you were vulnerable, like some so-called male "friends" do).

Fact is, a relationship should ALWAYS be founded on friendship, if it is to maintain it's strength and structure. The two of you are good friends, so all you need to do is be willing to step out on faith and explore the next step(s). My best advice is that you really talk through the pros and cons of making the transition between platonic friends and (possibly) romantic lovers. Don't try to answer questions that only time can answer, but do discuss the nature of your friendship in the event that things don't fit in the romantic category. Communication is crucial! Neither of you should hold anything back! If things begin to feel weird or uncomfortable for either of you, make a promise that you'll admit it. More than anything, take things SLOW! Don't just think you can snap your fingers and be in a relationship. Let the transition be a smooth, gradual one. When it comes to things like physical intimacy, for instance, let the moment decide for you. It's "wise and good" to listen to your mind, but only your heart can truly determine when something or someone is right or wrong. If you've already engaged in honest, uninhibited communication, then you can trust your instincts whenever they tell you to do or not do something.

I say give the brotha a go! You'll never know unless you try. Not too many women are blessed to have a man to love who's also a dear friend! And, if his friendship is TRUE is will be there even if things don't work out the way he'd like them to. Remember:

It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all!

Blessings, Soror!




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Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
Pi Kappa, SP97
#3 of QUINTESSENCE

Dang, ya'll are good!!

Been divorced a year and 4 months, but prior to the divorce separated 6 months.

Dated guy #2 for 3 months, 3 months after my divorce was final.

Have known the "friend" for a year and a half. And yes, I'm attracted to him.

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Director #2
LMAC, Spr 99
Galveston Council of Greeks NPHC, President

[This message has been edited by DirectorDST99 (edited December 14, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by DirectorDST99 (edited December 14, 2000).]

Well there you go director.........If he has been there for you through your most needed moments and you are attracted to him then go for it. Its good to be friends first, Yall have already established a trusting and caring relationship. You already know him really well so you do not have to got through a complete "first date" then get comfortable type a deal. I think you should go for it http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif He might be the 1!

Hey, soror director! I'm back!!!
OK, here is my advice. This is not a rebound situation on either side, and you have been divorced for a while. You also have been friends with the 'friend guy' for a long enough time to know what his intentions may be, so my question to you is, what do you think YOU should do? That is really the most important thing here. If you feel that a relationship is something that will destroy your friendship, then discuss that with him, and see what his response would be. Also, reflect on how he is in relationships. The way men act with friends and lovers can be like night and day. Are there things that he does in relationships that you cannot deal with, or things that you wish he was doing to you? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif
Weigh those options! My best friend is a guy, and he is ever so fine, but I could never date him because he is waaayyyyy to clingy. He likes to be around his girl 25/8, and that would completely wear me out!
If he is a good catch, (and since he is already a friend you know it), there is absolutely no reason to deny yourself! Soror, no matter what has happened in the past with relationships, or anything else in your life, today is the first day of the rest of your life, and oh, what a great day it is! You deserve to be treated well, and if you feel that he has the capacity to do so, then why not? Be happy, beautiful soror, and accept all of the good things that this world has in store for you....You are worth it!

Always Sisterly,
Soror6
DST - Spring '91 Mighty Midwest (Theta - E)

Man! the411 you are really good. I wish you were one of my friends.


Director, by now you should know want you want out of a man and out of a possible relationship. The question now is whether or not he is the epitome of what kind of man YOU want.

Good luck and I wish you the best!!!

Yes you do. You know. You need someone else to reconfirm what you already know.



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Director,

I don't know if you really want advice from a youngun like myself, but here goes...

Take a deep breath, and dive in!

God puts people in your life for a reason, don't let what happened in the past hurt your future! (What song is that from?) You deserve to be happy, and any man who makes you feel like that is well worth the risk. Besides, if a man went to Memphis to see me, I'd take that as a sign.

I wish you luck,
Tamika

Director, what ever happened to this "friend"? :) Just wondering.