Things You Will Never Hear A Celebrity Say....
 

What are you some things you KNOW you will never hear a celebrity say about themselves (or really, they just can't...hehehehehe):




"I'm clean" (Whitney and Bobby)

"My voice is improving" (Ashanti)

I go to the dentist every 6 months" (Lil' Jon)

"I picked up a copy of my marriage license at the courthouse" (Brandy)

"I think women are the most sexually alluring creatures on the planet" (Michael Jackson)

"Of course I knew she was underage" (Rrrahh Kelly, I love him but he got some issues)

"I prefer black women" (Kobe Bryant)

"I suck at basketball" (Shaq)

"Money is worthless" (Donald Trump)

"We have dreams of attending Harvard" (Ying Yang Twins)

"I know that y'all don't care about my opinion, so I'll keep it to myself." almost any celebrity

"You know I really can't carry a tune." Britney, Ashanti, JS (whatever their name really is), Madonna, Beyonce (unless she's really trying), J Ho

"I recently discovered a cold fusion that will save us from our oil dependent lives." Jessica Simpson

"I'm really not that great of a coach, I just show up at the right time with the right team." Phil Jackson

"I think I'm gonna ask that sistah out!" (Wesley Snipes)

"I made that %$#@**! marry my daughter b/c he knocked her up" (Matthew Knowles)

"Fo shizzle, my nizzle" - (Bill Cosby)

"I'm pregnant" (Oprah, Missy, Latifah, Da Brat, Condelezza Rice)

"Can I borrow a dollar?" (Oprah, Bill Gates)

:D :D :D HA HA HA!!!

It's okay, they had too much of a teeny bopper feel for me to get into, there are a LOT of folks I don't listen to that folks think I'm just crazy about (ie Alicia Keyes--can't stand her or her music) so JS may have just been a personal MSN moment ROFL.

/hijack
Now that right there...just wrong! Funny, but wrong.

/end hijack

"I'm a natural beauty" (Lil Kim, Pamela Anderson, etc)

"I've never had an STD" (again, Lil Kim)

"People come to my concerts to hear me sing" (Britney Spears)

"My man does NOT look like Joe Camel" (Beyonce)

"I think my performance in Glitter was Oscar-worthy" (Mariah
Carey)

"I'm an independent woman who doesn't need a man on my arm to validate me" (J.Ho)

"I always pay my taxes" (Jermaine Dupri)

"I scored 1500 on the SAT" (Jessica Simpson)

I am getting my gold teeth removed. ~ Monica, Master P, and other gold toothed celebrities

I'm ORIGINAL ~ P. Diddy

I Do ~ Brandy (wedding vows)

Girl, that crack man forgot to give me my receipt. ~ Whitney Houston

OMG...these are too funny that you guys posted. Ok, here are some more:


"Damn You Beyonce!" (Ashanti, Brandy, Monica, Kelis, Christina Milan, Kelly Rowland, Michelle)

"I think I'm gonna go out and lay in the sun" (Michael Jackson)

"Yeah, I know he's gay" (Star Jones)

"I'm starving." (Brandy, Laura Flyn Boyle, Brittany Murphy)

"Cubic Zirconia is just as good as, if not better than, diamonds." -Oprah Winfrey

"I have a personal stylist and a personal trainer to keep me looking tight." - Raven

"I think that's too much weave." - Diana Ross

"I miss you guys!" - Omarion (sp?) from B2K

"YEAHHHHHH!" - Oprah, Condeleeza, Bryant Gumbel in their best Lil Jon voice

"I'm a low-key kind of girl. A quiet night at home is always cool with me." - Paris Hilton

"Dude, you're weird." - Marilyn Manson, Dennis Rodman