The "Maury Situation" Thread
 

What would YOU do if:

Men:
1) Your wife cheated on you and your kid wasn't yours?
2) Your wife cheated on you and your kid was yours?
3) Your wife cheated on you with a CLOSE family member or friend?

Women:
4) Your husband cheated on you once?
5) Your husband cheated on you numerous times?
6) Your husband cheated on you with a CLOSE family member or friend?

HA......maury used to be about ppl with rare diseases getting treatment or gifts or just raising awareness, or about ppl who have been through traumatizing events and survived.....now it's all about baby daddy issues or "my mom dresses too sexy" make-overs. i like talk shows that make me cry....hello, montel and oprah. jerry springer is good before work, though, i have to admit. I LOVE MONTEL B/C HE HAS SYLVIA BROWN ON THERE ALL THE TIME!

i am 1000% sure he my baby daddy......a million % sure.....and when the troof come out, he ain't gon' have nothin to do with my baby....i don't need his money, i been doin it all by mysef for 14 and 3/4 months, i can just keep on keepin on......dirty nasty ass <beep> mutha <beep>

10 seconds later ye ol' skank runs off in disbelief the man in question is "NOT the father"

quality tv, i'm tellin ya. what i don't get is these women who need lie detector test results when they state all the evidence from their own experience....but yet they still need to HEAR it when they've SEEN it. oy....can ya tell i watch this garbage everyday???? ;) :( :) :p :rolleyes:

Don't these people realize YOU CAN'T GO OVER 100%?

"Maury, I'm 350% sure he's the father"
"When it comes to 4 month old Rudey, James, you are NOT the father"
"No! I didn't get with anybody else!"

Obviously you did.

But, seriously, answers here people, answers! lol

Re: The "Maury Situation" Thread
 

4) Divorce him.
5) Divorce him.
6) Divorce him and then burn all his personal possessions and disown my family member.

Don't &%$# with the Angel!

Glad to know I'm not the only one...

I only watch when there's paternity tests or lie detectors....I wanna laugh, not be presented a cause.

ROFLOL. These paternity shows are HILARIOUS. People kill me with "look at his eyes! my baby and him got the same eyes!"
I feel so sorry for the kids. :(

But to answer the questions:
1. Divorce
2. Wouldn't get that far
3. Divorce and put the family member/friend on blast.

I love that too...don't forget:

"They've both got the same small little penis!"

Sadly, it's not just the shows-some people really do act that stupid when they get paternity tests

*Nikki_DZ used to be a child support case worker, and performed paternity tests*

We're talking grown men bringing their mothers in with them, mothers bitching out the caseworkers b/c "My baby wouldn't get that tramp pregnant" to women trying to bribe caseworkers to change test results so their boyfriends won't know they cheated. I've heard women scream and moan, and accuse the lab of screwing up the test, and testify before God and all his disciples that was the ONLY man they slept with.

Rule of thumb, ladies-Social service agencies will paternity test anyone you've slept with a 60 day timeframe (30 days before you got pregnant, and 30 days after). And, for the love of God-get a name, address, place of employment, and social security number. If you don't have these things, don't get mad when your caseworker can't find "baby daddy". I need more than the fact that his name is John and he had blue eyes and a tattoo of a tiger.

/rant

Re: The "Maury Situation" Thread
 

1) It would depend on the situation, like if I was completely ignoring him/being a complete b^tch, then I would understand. However, if it was just because he wanted a new woman, I'd divorce his butt...but not before making him tell him mama :p
2) Ack..divorce him..then take him for all he's worth and then some.
3. Divorce him....disown family member.



-----Anyway..on those shows, I totally feel sorry for those babies on there. It's not like they'll never SEE those tapes!

Maury: When it comes to Sandra and her 2 year old son Jason...
1) Sean, you are NOT the father!
2) Peter, you are NOT the father!
3) Jason Sr., you are NOT the father!
4) Alex, you are NOT the father!
5) Juan, you are NOT the father!

Sandra: (runs of of the stage wailing and covering her face) WHY!!!??? Oh God! Where's my baby?! (falls on the floor backstage)

Jason Sr.: I still love him, and he'll always be my son (crying like a bitch)

Sean, Peter, Alex, Juan: Told you he wasn 't mine! She's a ho! HAHAHAHAH!!! Now leave me alone biotch!



On the next Maury....

Sandra returns to find the father of her son by doing DNA tests on 6 more men!

OOPS.....i forgot to answer the questions:

a) fall in love all over again
b) want to be his 3rd baby mama
c) go on the maury show

I am sitting at my desk CTHU @ this post.

LOL @ swearing before God and His disciples.

I love those "video postcards" that the old guests supposedly send to Maury themselves, especially when they're so obviously taped by Maury's people.

You realize that if a girl has tested 10 men, that means in the LITTLE span of time it took to get prgenant, that's the MINIMUM number of guys she's been with in that time!

In terms of "I don't need a man to raise my baby!", in the words of Chris Rock, when talking about said subject:

"Shut the fuck up with that bullshit..."

Ladies, coming from an only child in a single parent family in lower middle class, daddy needs to be there, otherwise you get people like me!

But still, my favorite quote of all time:

"Maury, I got something to say:

That lie detector test, THAT'S the lie!!!!!!!!!! "

"Wait, Jamal, you're saying the test is wrong, and you've been faithful to Shaqueda this whole time?"

"The test don't lie Jamal!"

"I'm saying, I was nervous, that test is a lie!"

I like the Maury ones where he sends them to boot camp.

-Rudey