Penn brothers vote Bush in the frat, but not the White House
 

Frat boys debate who they would trust to assist in a keg stand

"PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (CNN) -- Analysts predict there will be relatively few swing voters in the presidential election this November.

Many Americans have already chosen their candidate: the man who can be trusted to serve as commander in chief of the mightiest military; the man who can function under the fantastic pressure and scrutiny that will be applied to him; the man who can get the job done.

But is this man trustworthy enough to hold your legs during a keg stand?

"I think I would rather have Kerry hold my feet during a keg stand because, let's face it, you need... someone responsible to do something like that," Penn junior Patrick Carroll said.

"You wouldn't want to fall and chip your teeth on the keg or something, and I could just picture 'college-era' Bush seeing a hot girl across the room and dropping everything he was doing to go talk to her," the Kappa Alpha brother said.

"That's not the only reason I'm voting for Kerry, but it sure doesn't hurt," he added.

Others fraternity brothers at the University of Pennsylvania felt experience and physical hardiness trump character when it comes to the man keeping his head from suddenly meeting keg or floor.

"I'd trust that Bush has a lot more experience around kegs than Kerry," Pi Kappa Alpha brother Alex Brodsky said.

"Bush is a bit tougher," he continued. "I'm a big boy, 200-plus pounds, and I'd imagine that Kerry might have a hard time lifting me up.""

Read the rest here .

yeah, not sure that article is too good for either candidate or the greek community...

I'd go with Bush. The dude works out constantly. He could actually hold me up. Kerry's skinny ass would crumble under me.

Or are we voting on the whole ticket. If so, I'd rather have Kerry and Edwards holding me during the Keg stand. I wouldn't want to put Cheney up to something that might cause his heart to be stressed.

They probably wouldn't drink beer. They seem more like Champagne or Wine types of guys.

Kerry might dring brandy.

From an outsiders perspective.

I'd go with Kerry.

Bush is a Christian right? And from what I understand, a born-again Christian?
Bush probably doesn't drink, and if he does, it's probably very little. I just don't see him having the hardcore party experience.

I am wondering if anyone on here knows any of the guys named in the article.

I believe that Bush stopped drinking several years ago when he realized he had a problem w/ alcohol. We're talking college-age Bush though. ;)

Does anyone know if John Edwards is Greek?

See, I was just going to come back and say there was the possibilty that he partied hard in college.
I bet he was the crazy guy on the bar with a lampshade on his head. He just might be the man for the job ;)

Some of the more important criteria I've seen during this whole campaign.

Those "limousine liberals," huh? ;)

We know GW will bring the blow...it's too risky for Cheney's heart, so he drinks Red Bull and vodka.