What Do You Think?
 

A friend and I had a VERY lengthy phone conservation about whose responsibility it was when a woman becomes pregnant and it was not planned.

My friend thought it was entirely the womans fault because she should have protected herself from the unplanned pregnancy. She thinks that the man is not responsible at all because (in her words) "It may take two to tango, but only one to use protection". She believes that since the woman has to carry the baby and the man can literally walk away, she should have done everything in her power to stop the unplanned pregnancy.

I told her that it was complete and utter bullshit. I said that since it takes two to tango, the outcome is on BOTH parties. If neither one uses protection, then the unplanned pregnancy is the responsibility of BOTH. While she could protect herself from him, she cant protect herself from herself, therefore he should assume some of the responsibility for what has occurred.

My question is this: What do you think? Not a matter of who is right, but what is your opinion based on what was said. This is only in terms of human responsibility. Who is responsible?

Thanks!
Q

Ok i'll bite.

We are talking about primary responsibility here.

If she doesn't want to have a child but wants to have sex, she should be using or force him to use birth control.

Conversely if he doesn't want a child he should do the same thing.

I am not sure is an easy way to apportiona responsibility unless we factor in the consequences.

In the sense that she has to carry the child, or abort the child or whatever, it could be said that there are greater repurcussions on her for getting pregnant.

If that were a factor, than she has a greater responsibility to protect herself.

This assumes that the costs of child rearing are equally applied to both of them.

I think it depends on the extent to which she has a relationship with the potential father. If the encounter that resulted in pregnancy was intended to be a casual hook up then she should have taken better care to protect herself and make sure one evening didn't affect the rest of her life. He should have used a condom but she should have insisted on it.
If the two people are involved in a ongoing relationship, the man has a greater level of responsibility. Even in a low key dating scenario I'd like to see the man concerned for the woman's well being.

ITA

I think that it takes two to tango and both are responsible. I believe that any one that is sexual active needs to be in it to protect themselves and the other person involved, but both parties are responsible for any outcome.

co-sign

In a perfect world, both are equally responsible for the consequences. In reality, it's much easier for the man to disappear, so I'd advise that women protect themselves.

Conversely, there are women who have tried to "trap" men by getting pregnant, so men are wise to protect themselves as well.

Dee

Co-sign