sororities/houses
 

Wonder if it might be construed as sexist when the distaff side
is not permitted to have a house when the men are? Is not the
experience gained from running a house a significant part of the
total greek scene?
Or do the know-better administrators think the ladies are not capable of managing such a thing as a house, hence a meeting room, a dorm floor or section, or a drawing room?
Oh, yes, are there housemothers any more? Do they teach table
manners like they used to? Do the mothers have their bridge get togethers like they used to? There was a certain amount of regard and respect shown the housemother...way back then.
Is that all gone, too?
This oughta get some action....I realize some of you will not have
a clue what I am talking about...but it was a part of the Greek life we loved...and something that made us stand out amongst the
non-Greeks ("barbs") at the banquet table.

Re: sororities/houses
 

Yes, I believe that the experience gained by living with your sisters or brothers is a crucial part of the Greek experience. Is it sexist for men to have houses when the women do not? It depends. Unfortunately, for whatever reasons, there is not always housing available for sororities. In other situtations, some chapters are housed but some are not. This also can be due to numerous things including a lack of suitable available housing, lack of available property to build on, and or cold hard cash to do either. If the university making meeting space, group living space or a combination of the two available to sororities then that's a positive (especially when everyone has the same type of housing in these situations!)

Yes, sorority houses do still have "house mothers" although there are some instances where they may not be required on a particular campus (very rare and few, but I can think of one campus where the 5 housed and 1 unhoused sorority do not have "house moms.")

The difference is that what you remember as a "house mom" is now often referred to as a "House Director." She's not just a Mom anymore! The HD serves as the on site property manager for the house corp, and can handle everything from menu planning to recruitment event assistance to emergency repairs and more. The HD handles property security issues, hires and fires house staff, coordinates property maintenance, oversees daily house operations and more. Need a special landscaping or house cleaning job? She can get it done. There's a problem with roommates or a few girls not getting along in a dormer? She's often the one to contact the appropriate chapter officer or adviser to let them know of a potential problem so they can take it from there.

She serves as a resource to her residents and to the members at large as well, just like in the olden days :) Yes, of course she assists with teaching manners and "gracious living," but today it may be done more in conjunction with that chapter's particular goals or needs (such as dinner conversation to practice for formal recruitment or a general education module on manners.) The job really has evolved and is a huge responsibility, regardless of whether you have 10 beds or 150 beds!

We are hiring a new HD for our local chapter house next year, and some of the resumes we've received would blow you away. There are literally Professional House Directors out there, and a lot of them. Without a dedicated, professional and responsible HD our House Corps could not get the job done. The HD is a crucial component to a chapter's success.

HTH!
Christin

I just got done discussing this issue with some non-Greeks who were trying to tell me that the brothel law was sexist. First I had to explain to them that the brothel law does not exist . . . then they claimed that it was STILL sexist if sororities were petitioning for housing and getting denied -- so I had to explain the difference between NIC and NPC policies, among other things. Needless to say I think I confused them. :D

I think that sexism played a role in the past but has less of a role in the present. Mostly I think it's those crazy commie NPC policies ;) stating that if the groups get housing, it generally has to be equal -- if even one of the groups on campus can't afford a house, it's tough for the rest of them to be approved. Also, on many campuses (especially that didn't open themselves up to women, or to sororities, until later in their history), all the appropriately zoned land had been used up by the time sororities came onto campus, or petitioned for housing. That's why I think past sexism plays more of a role than present sexism -- I don't think the sororities would be denied houses if there was still land available for it.

As for housemothers -- I think most sororities still have them, whereas the majority of fraternities do not. They aren't as involved as they once might have been, but they still play a role. As for manners -- to a certain extent our housemom still enforces the "gracious living" aspect of living in the sorority house -- at dinner we all stand until she sits down, ask her if we can be excused after dinner, etc. Most of the time she is out of our way, though, and I think that might be the norm for chapter houses these days.

Like Christin said, most House Mothers are professional property managers now who serve much more of a business purpose than they did in the past.

With respect to House Mothers teaching table manners and having bridge get togethers, we all knew our table manners before moving into our house. She was seated first after grace, we filled the center table (which the HM sat at the head of) first, and all food was passed to her first and counterclockwise from her. If you were late to dinner or you had to leave early you asked her permission to be excused for your tardiness or early departure.

Our HMs had monthly get toghethers, sometimes they played bridge, other times they had holiday parties. They went walking together in the mornings or afternoons and relied on one another for referrals and recommendations of local suppliers/vendors and the like.

Do I think it's sexist for men to have houses when women don't? I guess that depends upon the situation. Running a sorority house is generally much more expensive than running a fraternity house. In general I don't think most NPC groups are in the housing business. Having really expensive houses can be a financial drain on chapters and can be prohibitive when it comes to expansion. We are seeing situations where there are not housing options available and systems need to expand more and more these days. University Housing offers a nice option for systems where there is recognition of greek groups and it also levels the playing field.

That's pretty much exactly what happened at Penn State. All the land was getting snapped up by the men while the women still had to abide by parietal rules and stay in the dorms. That was sexism by the college, not the Greek system - AFAIK ALL women were subjected to those rules.

can of worms...
 

Thank you-all for the update but rather apologetic treatise on the
housemother. I am sure economics enters...
HOWEVER, even in the 50s, the sororities sidestepped the issue,
and in many cases refused to consider the investment, backed by the institution.
The so-called "Housing Director" is a far cry, as I see it, from the
old housemother....but some of you never knew it, so have not had the comparison...not your fault.
My daughter was sequestered at CU in a dorm her first year. It was DISASTROUS...the lack of control, the lack of enforcement of
rules, the rampant liquor and drug violations, the intrusions of the varied outsiders into the rooms...and none or rarely none were reported to the U officials...overlooked entirely.
I complained, and as a former college administrator, and with all
the degrees, rank and experience...I got nowhere. Most all of these officials were not only not Greek but very anti-Greek. So,
I am not taking cheap shots at the sororities.
My family jewelry box has a Kappa key, a Theta kite, a PiPhi arrow, a TriDelt trident, a DZ lamp, gosh...and my daughter chose
not to pledge. My generation has gone through the heartbreak of Greek rejection...perhaps that is why we have become so outspoken, aggressive...we think it is all worth saving...But the Greeks are not a rehab outfit, and like the Kappa Sigs say...not all can wear the badge...
BUT...if the ladies can sidestep the financial responsibilities, if they
can exist without houses...many times at the institution's expense, then why cannot the men? The abandonment of the old
housemother is but one of the many things which have allowed us
to appear totally out of control, drunks, buffoons...and it is hard for some of us old alums, trying to regain some dignity in the varied situations, to compete with the increasing-again-encroachment of "in loco parentis" by sterile college folks, whether they be "house directors" or not. I am certainly not sold
on these...maybe there are some good ones...but to me the are
just another veneer of uncaring bureaucracy. Think about it.

I'm afraid we may have to agree to disagree, Erik. In this day of lawsuits and risk management, it is almost unrealistic to expect any sorority chapter with a live-in component in stand alone housing to not have a House Director on staff. What I mean by this, is that if a sorority owns/rents/leases a chapter house where sorority members actually live in and where that property is managed by a house corporation representing the sorority in question.

Whether we like it or not, times have changed. With the overwhelming increase in co-ed college dorms, and even co-ed living floors, sororities are continually being forced to "keep up with the times." House moms just aren't all about teaching manners, keeping the boys out, and making hot chocolate during finals season anymore, although they certainly can and still do this. They are responsible for the day to day maintenance and operation of a multi-thousand to multi-million dollar property. It's their job to keep their eyes and ears open and keep their "girls" safe while making sure the residents and chapter members experience a positive and enjoyable experience living in and coming to the chapter house. If the house runs out of paper products or there continually isn't enough food at meals, it's the House Director who needs to deal. If the residents need a "pick me up" during exam times, it's the HD who schedules a snack break or arranges a stress free/relaxation zone in the house. If there is an emergency or crisis, the HD needs to know what to do and get the job done.

I may have a different perspective due to my current position in AOII, and that's okay. All I know general operating policy from a sorority--or more correctly from a NPC sorority standpoint. My personal experience from a fraternity standpoint is that their housing is run differently. Those fraternity chapters who tended to have active and involved alumnae, especially those who volunteered their time instead of or in addition to writing a check, had the fraternity houses that truly made a positive impact. The houses seemed to be cleaner, they ran close to or at capacity, there were fewer "emergency runs" for general house supplies, and so on. None of these had House Moms, either, but I believe that was and still is the norm at the schools I am personally familiar with.

A question for our fraternity men and NHPC members who may be reading this thread: does your national or international governing body require a House Parent/House Director/Property Supervisor if your GLO owns a property? Is this person required to be an non-undergrad student or is this a regular collegiate chapter officer? I'm just curious :)