Explain a man's thinking...
 

My hubby's best friends is confusing the heck out of me and all my friends.... he is going through a divorce and is always at my house. This friend, I'll call him Joe, was the best man in my wedding. Up until a few months ago we were polite to each other, but indifferent. We lived next door to each other from the time I was 4 until 14, he was the boy that threw the rocks at the girls and chased us on our bikes. He was hell to live by, for that reason.
Joe started coming to see hubby and I starting in February-on a daily basis. Joe and I talk at least once daily on the phone, and go out to lunch about once to twice a week. (yes, hubby knows-not an issue).
Joe met a girl in a bar and the two have been talking on the phone, she lives about 3 hours away from all of us. She asked if he had females friends--he said yes, and told her about me. She met my husband when Joe and hubby we out one night. He told he that when his wife kicked him out, it was my advice he took. He says he listened to no one but me. According to Joe he told the girl that he and I have known each other too long and are now too good of friends to let "some woman" object to the friendship. He told me that "no matter what happens you will always be a part of my life"
Joe had a date last weekend, just told me it was "some chic" and gave me no details. Last night we all went out (16 of us) for my bday. This girl he is talking to drive down 3 hours to meet me and see him. I found out the "chic" from last weekend was her. I asked why he didn't say anything--he tells me everything anyway. He told me "I just decided not to say it was her" It is very obvious he is falling for this girl, she was very sweet, polite and cute--she'd be a good catch. But he tells me he is scared.
He keeps telling me that "nothing will come between me and him-we are too good of friends" "i will tell you everything--you will be the first to know" etc, etc, etc.....
But yes he doesn't tell me about this woman--he accidentally mentioned the about of time he was talking to the woman (54hrs on his cell in 3 week:eek: )
All my girlfriends that hear him talk to me, and then see the way he is hestitant to talk to me about her are swearing to me that he has feelings for me--- but since hubby and him are best friends (since they were about 14) he knows not to go there---but the reason, according to them, he won;t talk to about her is he doesn't want me to get jealous--he baffles me...
And yes i am sure I am rambling and unclear-- so I apologize. But from my ramblings--what is going thru this guys mind!

thanks all.
-wendi

Maybe he doesn't want to make her jealous of you. Maybe he's paranoid that he *does* have feelings for you. I'm not saying he does. Apparently he really likes this girl, but maybe he's confused. He is going thru a divorce, after all. I think it's awesome that not only do you have such a great relationship w/ Joe, but also that your husband is totally cool about it. My best guess on this situation is that he wants to make sure that if his relationship w/ this girl pans out that you two (you and her) get along well. He doesn't want to start things off by her being jealous (if jealousy is an issue). Good luck.

Girl, I'm sorry but, uhhhh, HE WANTS YOU! Either that or he is the most insecure man, EVER. I still think he wants you though.

Sounds like he has some tender feelings for you and maybe also gets a vibe from you that if you weren't with hubby you might be interested in dating him.

Nothing necessarily wrong with all that.

Anyway guys are like that, we tend not to talk about girls with other girls, especially girls we might cherish a little feeling towards.

His protestations of no girl ever coming between you two blah blah blah is a little extreme . . . thats definitely a declaration of like.

And honestly your rambling post gives a little away also :)

If you didn't cherish some tender thoughts none of this stuff would bother you enough to think about, then to ask your friends about, and then to ask the people on GC about.

You might want to be really careful. Unless you are just utterly bored with your marriage?

Here's my advice, from my older sister: Don't try to figure out a man's thinking. You'll never get anywhere. ;)

I have to second that.

He sounds confused more than anything else.

oh i have to chime in on this...
1. i agree whole heartedly
2. you got a few hundred yrs
3. if we could figure out a guys thinking we would all be rich!