Online standards police?
 

I know that, for the most part, we try to be mindful of our actions online especially when representing our respective Greek orgs...on GC, especially..since we all have our own members constantly monitoring what we say.

But what about our own personal sites? I know that I am not the model AGD and the most perfect sister. First and foremost, I am a 24 year old recent college grad just starting my life. Once in a while I'll party and do "questionable" things that might be frowned upon by friends and sisters. I love AGD with all my heart and I would never do anything to intentionally ruin her good name.

I have a LiveJournal and a MySpace page, and on there I like to use that space to show the world who I really am, without having to be afraid that a sister might chew my head out because I choose to live my life a certain way.

...and I'm not stupid. I won't attach, in bold letters, ALPHA GAMMA DELTA! underneath a picture of me and the friends at a bar.

Today I received a message on my MySpace account from a 19 year old sister in Canada lecturing me on "questionable" party pix that I posted. Basically she accused me of tarnishing the Alpha Gam reputation. I replied back as politely as I could (though I was soooo very tempted to say some not so nice things), telling her that my personal business is my personal business, and because I choose to list 'ALPHA GAMMA DELTA' in my General Interests section, my actions do not reflect my organization.

I freaking can't stand judgemental people, and I hate how some of these people are my own sisters.

Has this happened to any of you? I know that in GC history, some users have been instructed by their own GLOs to refrain from posting on GC completely. What would you do if a brother/sister accused you of ruining your org's reputation online? Would you give in and edit your site so it conforms to "ideal" standards or would you maintain your right to say and post whatever you want?

No, I've never had this happen - I think anyone who would think of doing it knows that it would pretty much be spitting into the wind.

I've seen plenty of personal sites where sorority members mention partying or guy stuff. That's part of college life. I've never seen anything that made me feel our rep or that of sorority women in general was "tarnished."

Actually I take that back...when I read in an LJ of an independent or another Greek that my sisters somewhere have been snobbish, or rude, or unkind, I find that far more damaging to my sorority's reputation than a sister talking about how much they had to drink the night before.

She's a bit uptight. She's also patronizing. Its really none of her business.

Tell her she shouldn't be reading your diary much less complaining about it and it's your diary and you will make it as secret or public as deem fit.

& I know she commented on MySpace account rather than the LiveJournal but the same sort of principle applies.

Exactly! Unless someone is the spitting image (in all facets of life) of perfection no one has any right to tell you that you are tarnishing the reputation of the organization. It would be one thing if you were all over the place being obnoxiously disrespectful in your letters, but having a social life is something I would hope members of my organization have!

My golden rule: "praise in public, damn in private". I see Brother XYZ in a website picture doing upside-down keg stands I'm not going to rat him out in a public forum. And if I do meet him in person, I will 'whisper good counsel in his ear' in private; how he takes a fellow brother's advice to heart is his own problem. E-mail, LJ or a public forum such as GC is no place to air someone's dirty laundry.

I certainly ain't gonna tell OTW (or anyone else, for that matter) how to best represent their fraternity or sorority; I'd already figured - hopefully - that you all are responsible adults and know where and when to meet the standards of conduct expected of your organization.

I'll admit to having done some VERY questionable behavior while wearing letters or my badge years ago. (Don't ask!) Call it youthful indiscretion at the time, but as one grows older one eventually realizes how stupid one can be when all the stops are pulled out.

Unless I was hurting someone's feelings directly, I would not edit my site. I too have a journal and post things that may or may not be deemed "appropritate" by others and while I don't have my organization listed as an interest, I do belong to a community for its members, so it wouldn't be hard for anyone to figure it out if she wanted. If someone contacted me the way you were contacted, I would probably reply just as you did. I've been reading your journal for a long time, and I think you are nothing but an asset to Alpha Gamma Delta, and anyone who would say otherwise is mistaken. You have a real life that you're living, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and for someone to say otherwise is just judgmental and, I think, not at all sisterly. The beauty of having sisters around the world is that we are all so different, and we'd be better off to appreciate our differences even when we don't necessarily understand them.

On the other hand, and on a somewhat related tangent -- I used to use a signature on GC that contained my letters but I stopped, not because anyone asked me to but because I became uncomfortable with it. I say some controversial things from time to time, and I don't want any of that to reflect on my sisters who may or may not agree with me. I've also read things posted by others with which I clearly do not agree and that I don't want to reflect on me, if that makes sense. I guess to me there's a difference between using letters in a GC signature and listing an interest in your LJ.

Personally, there are very few things I'd ever change about myself just because someone was taking offense. Typically, I try to police myself in that regard -- if I think someone is being far too thin-skinned, I can really make no apologies. OTW, screw 'em. You're a great representative of your organization. Just because you join a GLO doesn't mean that you as an individual are no longer allowed to do things that others would consider morally questionable. I can think of a hell of a lot of worse things than going to a bar:eek:

Just keep being yourself and make no apologies (you're usually pretty good at that anyhow:D)

Well OTW, look at it this way-
Some strange girl that I assume you've never met comes to your site. She sees something that rubs her the wrong way and lashes out. How in the WORLD did she find your page in the FIRST place?!? (I don't know beans about LJ. It would seem she had to go to some effort to get there.) I'd just blow it off.

GC is a different place and I do see more need for refinement here. BUT, a diary is a diary-personal stuff- yet, if it's out there on the net, it seems like there are some "voyeuristic" qualities attached to it. Unless you plan to run for office, marry a politician or find yourself in a position where you could be blackmailed in the future, write what you will.

What kind of person gets that involved with a journal of someone they have never talked to much less met? What kind of person spends time seeking out the details of OTHER people's lives? Sounds like they might
have a few issues of their own.

Good point PM_Moma.

I guess one would have to experience LJ to understand the level of interest it generates. Weird to me, but so was the microwave at one time!:D

Just to clarify a little bit...

It's easy to find me on LJ because one is able to navigate through UserInfo pages based on one's interests or the communities he/she belongs to. Being that I'm an active contributor to the Alpha Gam community (and I'm co-moderator), it doesn't take an genius to find me.

However...on MySpace, it's a bit more difficult. Most people find others through networking...kind of like having a mutual friend of sorts. I don't know how in the world she found me considering most friend groups are based on region.

To update on the situation, I received an apologetic reply from her. She explained that she was caught off guard when she saw the pictures and was alarmed when she saw my affiliation in my General Profile. She also thanked me for not really biting her head off and spitting it out. If anything, I think she was more embarassed because she didn't know I was an alumna and she held such a sassy attitude with me. When I was a collegian, we were strongly encouraged (well, forced to, okay?) to never disrespect an alumna whether or not we agreed with them. Anyway, collegian vs. collegian/collegian vs. alumna/alumna vs. alumna or whatever ... you just don't call out someone like that unless there are reasons behind it (very much similar to what PM_Mama mentioned).

I explained to her my views...our views actually, because your responses so far have been what I have been thinking for a while. :) I figured hey...she's young...a recent initiate. A lot of us say/post/write things online without thinking sometimes. Some of us more than others. ;) Mwahahhaha.

It's funny. She then requested that I "add her as a friend" on MySpace and that she'd "see me in Chicago". So what did I do?

Of course I added her. :p I'd be an uber evil sister if I didn't, and I've already exceeded my "evil quota" for the evening.

For those of us who faithfully keep an online record for the whole world to see (whether it be on LJ, Xanga, or your own personal domain), this is something good to think about.

You handled the situation very well.

I don't see anything wrong with having "questionable" content on a personal website, LJ, posts on other chat boards, etc. We didn't all become nuns and monks when we pledged our respective orgs, and we shouldn't have to pretend that we did.

It's like drinking in letters. Here on GC, we're always "wearing" our letters (some people, like myself, even incorporate our affiliations into our usernames), so we always have to watch what we say. Out on LJ or elsewhere on the net, we're not in letters, so we can take a little more leeway in what we say and do - as long as we keep in mind that people can still find out our affiliations - just as they can when we go out drinking and don't wear letters.

Also, realistically, if you have to omit or lie about your behavior you are a hypocrite.

We see way too much of that in the Greek world, like its ok to do stuff so long as you either don't admit it or no one knows.

OTW, you are you, with out a doubt!:cool:

While you are a Member of AGD, you are still you no matter what!:) If you like to party after a hard day so what?

Dont we all in some form or another!:cool: It is needed to drop the stress level for the next day, week, month, or year!:D

Youngsters who are full of the New Greek Life seem to have a pencile up their arses and no eraser!

Damn, wait till they get in the real world of stress, paying bills, finding a job, or what ever!:o


Hell, I puked in a bar as an Alum, not because I was drunk, but a Brother had just lost his mother after I did. Damn did it hit me hard!:(

I was told I puked into an empty pitcher and not on the table or floor!!!!!!!!:D