Question for the girls
 

Ladies,

Okay, so I have this bad habit. I flirt with guys I have NO interest in (maybe other than friends), but I can't seem to make myself flirt with the ones I AM interested in. AHHHH! :( Because of this, I tend to lead on guys, and that's just awful. And then the ones I do like never know. What the hell is my problem?? :confused:

Girls, do any of you do the same thing? Just curious.

OH MY GOD YES!!!!! (it must be a music thing ;) )


No, I seriously will flirt hard core with guys that I don't have a lot of interest in. I tell my friends that it is much easier to flirt with guys I know I don't like b/c I know it won't go anywhere, so what's the harm. I also don't expect the guy I'm flirting with to start liking me. Alas, it tends to happens.

There is this one guy that is friends with my best guy friend. And I always pour on the southern charm for him. I'm always flirting, and he flirts back - but I always thought we both knew it was completey a joke.

HAHA, last week he was telling all his guy friends about how much I wanted him and all of this stuff..... LOL yea, that fun to deal with.

Just try to remember, you hurt A.) their ego's!!! B.) your ego!!! If you start to flirt with guys, you know you are not interested in - like that really dorky guy, or the guy with the insanely bad rep - it can end up biting you in the butt.

So be careful ladies..... It really depends on how much I like the guy on whether or not I can flirt. Normally, I don't and it ends up working out. Who knows?

------- Do I hear a Britney song coming on.........Oh but I think do......... "I played with your heart, got lost in the game" :p

Dear dear me, :)
Well, psychologists call that particular game "rapo", you could read about it in Berne, Eric: Games people play; the psychology of human relationships.
The Hayden and West Stacks libraries @ ASU have copies.

Flirting can be a rush, damn fun, harmless. As UKDaisy said it can go too far and feeling can get hurt.

Try to flirt with guys you like more - we don't bite, you might even find out it's kinda fun! :)

UKDaisy, LOL I think we are long lost sisters. :D

Yeah, my best guy friend's best friend likes me now...and I'm rpetty sure it's because I was flirting with him. Now I feel awful because the guy is totally sweet, but I just don't see him that way. :(

I think you fear rejection.

OH MY GOD I so do this. Flirt like hell with guys I'm neither mentally nor physically attracted to but yet can't even look at the guys I REALLY want.

I think it is because I fear rejection.

It's often a fear of intimacy or fear of rejection in these sort of situations. I'd expand, but the pitcher of iced tea I had might suppress coherency.

This post brought to you from Long Island.

Oh, I do that too! Only I never really thought about it til now...I think it's because I feel more comfortable around guys I don't like because I'm not trying to impress them so I'm naturally my flirty self. :p It used to be a lot worse than it is now, though.

This is how I learned to flirt. Flirt with people you don't care that much about like the fat and ugly . . and then keep doing it with the attractive . . . it becomes second nature.

I can only flirt with gay men. I think I was meant to be a gay man instead of a straight woman. It's tragic, really.

True Story: I was on the bus on the way to a social with a blind date. We had done the "Where are you from, what's your major, how old are you?" thing and were sitting in awkward silence. Finally, he asks me "So... do you know about me?"
"Know what?"
"I'm gay."
"OH REALLY?!?! AWESOME!"
The rest of the evening was wonderful. We had a blast, danced all night, and became fast friends. Yay for gay men!!!

...boo for always being single.

OMG I know what you mean!

Example One:

When I was in high school, I totally thought a guy I was in the play with had a crush on me. He was always acting weird and flirty. Years later, I find out from a date who somehow knew him, that he came out. This also happened to me as an undergrad.

Example Two:

I was in a student opera with one guy who I thought looked like he could be a model. We flirted a bit, and I'd somehow blush whenever he smiled at me :D The following semester, I found him manning the gay/lesbian/bi club table. Then the week after that, I read an article about people coming out, and his name was mentioned.

I had that same problem, but eventually I found someone I was interested in that I wasn't too shy to flirt with. I married him!:D

*bump*

Yeah Dionysus, I do fear rejection. It's funny because I'm a very confident person, but when it comes to guys...I can never let them know how I feel. My current love interest doesn't know, and I feel like there's no way I could let him know. I think he only sees me as a friend anyways.

But enough rambling. Yeah, I fear rejection big time.

Definitely a fear of rejection. That's normal. If it seems harmless and no risk, it's easier to do. Look at it like this, though, you're getting good practice for flirting w/ guys you actually want! Flirting can come in many forms, so maybe subconsciously (there goes my psychology background kicking in) you *are* flirting w/ the desired males, just in a different way. Body language says sooo much. Lots of experts can tell if a couple will last by photographing them in non posed shots and analyzing the body language. As humans we typically don't consciously pick up on it, but something in us says "He/she is interested." And unless the person is truly hideous, we tend to like people who like us back. As in, fear of rejection. :)

Flirting with the unavailable
 

Wouldn't it be more likely to be a fear of imtimacy?