Home Schooling
 

Is anyone home schooling their kids?
Has anyone been home schooled?
Can someone tell me the benefits and drawbacks? Not what you they MIGHT be if you haven't experienced it, just what they
ACTUALLY were if you taught from home or if you were a home school student.

I plan you home school my little one this fall...

Re: Home Schooling
 

Okay, I haven't been home-schooled, and even though I haven't experienced it, I do come in contact with home-schooled students in my job, so I will give you what I see as some advantages and disadvantages (even though this isn't what you wanted, but maybe it'll give a little insight).

Many home-schooled students take classes at my community college. Depending on the education level of the parents, they actually seem to do better than the traditional high school students. I say depending on the education level because when some parents aren't strong in math, for instance, their children seem to be the same way.

Another advantage I see is that the home-schooled children appear to be more mannerable and interact very well with "authority figures" and have a more mature air about them. Lots of the students that I see are involved with other activities, so they're not just at home and in the books.

Which leads me to the "disadvantage". I do see some h-s students that seem to be lacking socially, because mom and/or dad are always talking for them and doing for them, but I wouldn't say that's the majority.

I realize your son is a kidlet, so this probably didn't help you a whole lot, but it's something to think about/look forward to.

I homeschooled 3 of mine for 3 years. As a trained teacher, I wasn't afraid that I was cheating them scholastically--which many homeschoolers do--but I began to see some really weird older homeschoolers and didn't want my kids to turn out like that. Yes, they were comfortable with adults but they were just plain odd with their peers and they went to such great lengths to prove how "normal" they were that they weren't.

My kid is very well behaved, and it freaks some adults out. I think that has more to do with my background than him being at home with me, though. I was raised that you shouldn't have to tell a kid to do or not to do something twice.

He went to a preschool type daycare for a year and a half, and he was the good kid in class, not the geek, but the one who knew how to do what he was told, which is pretty odd for 2. At home however, he would show me what he learned from the other kids, some good, some bad. He showed me that he could pee standing up, but he also showed me that he could go "MMMM!" and act like he wanted to hit me, if he didn't like what I said (that didn't last long).

Anyhew, I am worried about him being up to speed educationally as you said most parents are. Socially, I think he'll be fine...

Re: Re: Home Schooling
 

How old were they at the community college?

I was not homsechooled and don't plan on homeschooling my children. A good private school will do quite well if I ever have any.

I have interacted with a number of homeschooled kids, and all of the ones I have met have a great deal of trouble with their peers, as has been noted. They are out of step socially, and it's really hard for them to be involved in group situations. Everything about the group dynamic seems to throw them off, even just going out to a restaurant (it's a bit like watching a movie that features a time traveler "MONEY! You guys are allowed to like, hold your own MONEY!").

In terms of racial relations it can be disastrous for the kid- white homeschooled children that I've met have usually almost NEVER interacted with a black person, and come to the situation with some outrageous preconceptions, if not outright prejudices (not that people who should know better don't, but the homeschooled kids can be extreme). I dont know any black homeschooled children, but I can imagine that it would be similar for them. We inherit our parents prejudices, and it's only experience with the world that allows us to form our own individual opinions on whether they're right or wrong. Homeschooled kids don't have that opportunity as much.

On the brighter side though, a lot of them have had a great sense of self-esteem, so even if they were freakin' weird they didn't seem to worry about it too much.

But they WERE kinda weird. I'm just sayin'.

My brother and I went to private schools, and I was scared of black people for a long time. I saw black people every day, but they either worked for my mom - and I knew them, or they were her patients. My mom insisted that I went to an HBCU and I refused to get out of the car on the first day. That fear didn't come from my parents. I think fitting in and functioning socially or different. There are some real weirdos who have been in school since day one. I don't want him to LEARN to conform. That could limit his creativity.

I don't want my kid to always be worried about what people think of him. I'd rather him not care. So if you are saying that the people you encountered were weird, but didn't care, to me, that is a good thing.

As far as race goes, I don't think he'll get an appreciation of the race in public or private school. African or African American history isn't priority in traditional American education systems. I think he'll learn more to appreciate his race at home with me, than he would in a classroom. That is where I got my appreciation from. My black history books were at my house. We don't watch TV
(just public) for that very reason. I don't want him to think that all white people are lawyers and all blacks are criminals, or that we just sing, dance, and jirate in videos (also known as Black Entertainment Television).

My thinking for home schooling came from thinking of the things that I taught my son daily that I know he wouldn't get at school. One day we were leaving the daycare and he was struggling to hold the door for his classmates mom. She grabbed the door and said, I got it. He said, "men hold the door for ladies." His favorite quote is, "If a man doesn't work, he doesn't eat." He says "please" and "thank you," and excuse me when he passes gas or burps. He eats with a fork, and uses his napkin. He knows that some people can't hear and that they speak with sign language, so he doesn't stare and point. To me that is what it means to know how to interact socially. He functions well in society without offending anyone.

There's a difference between being socially inept, and not being "cool" or "in". I wasn't even close to being "cool" or "in" until I was an adult, and i didn't care, which made my younger years a lot less stressful and painful than others that I knew.

I just want to know if anyone knows what the educational drawbacks were. Is it possible to know too much? There was a guy I knew who was in school, but his mom taught him a lot at home and it was just weird. He was always saying, "amazing, isn't it?" Like a complete freak. So far, without me formally homeschooling yet, he knows his alphabet in sign, and some vocabulary, some spanish, and a lot of the states, some of his bible books, and that is on top of the regular stuff like his alphabet, shapes, colors, some words by sight, animals, and stuff like that. He wants to know more, like a little sponge, but I wonder if a kid can know too much and THAT makes him seem strange.

Did anyone's parents use standardized testing?

That's a shame. I also went to a private school, but if anything my experience reinforced the fact that I WAS black and not that different from the people who worked at teh school or the people who lived on my block. I didn't feel separate from them or afraid of them because the rich white kids were very careful to let me know from day one where I stood. My family is black. My friends were black (the small minority group at the school). I am black. How could I be afraid of black? That was how I saw it.

I also think it's sad that you were forced to go to an HBCU. I can see why your mother did it if you were indeed afraid of black people, but I dont think you can really learn to appreciate a culture by force. I never considered going to an HBCU because of my private school experience. But it wasn't about being afraid of anyone, it's because my school was a prep school in the best sense- the whole point of me going there was to go to an Ivy League school, and so I did.

Me too. I definitely felt that to be positive, which is why I noted that it was on the bright side.
Race is much more complicated than something you learn on BET or from Eyes on The Prize. It is a combination of your experiences at home, with the media and with your peers. Talking to your Mom is only one small part of it. The concept of race changes, and those changes are reflected in how we interact socially. We ALL learn from our peers, in good ways and bad ways.

It's a bad idea to protect your child from learning about life or race by homeschooling, because while you are afraid that he might pick up bad things, you might also prevent him from participating in the good. Change happens rapidly, and things that you or I might not appreciate but are nonetheless positive are sure to be found in or by our children, and the ideas that they spread. It's important that kids have access to those ideas. Black and white children interacting was the momentum behind the civil rights movement. They shared an ideal that was completely foreign to many of their parents, and that changed the world.

Those are absolutely things you learn in the home. I don't feel that going to school would prevent him from learning them or grid them out of him.

I didn't mean cool. I meant that these kids were barely functional in group settings.

I was not making a judgement on how you choose or plan to raise your son. I was merely relating my experience with homeschooled children.

My fiance is worried about the "odd" thing. He agrees with the reasons I have for homeschooling. He wants him to have friends. There are sports leagues and all kinds of things for them to get into. Which I think is a good idea. I think he'd be fine in school socially. He's got the follow along, blend in sort of personality, and that worries me.

SIDE COMMENT: I am so glad that I went to an HBCU now. That is where you get to see some of the best that black america has to offer. It was tough at first. I wore birkenstocks and socks when I first got there, and people said I didn't "sound" black. But I learned a lot. I learned that I am not always the smartest person. There are black people that could be just as educated as I was without going to the best schools. I met my fiance there and he went to the same type of schools I did, but they did have some black population and he lived in a black neighborhood. I was forced to go for the same reasons that white parents force their kids to go to certain schools. My mom had a higher regard for HBCU's than she did for the ivy league. She figured that they ivy league was for people who wanted better jobs, and she taught us that we were not supposed to be employees, so the name on the diploma was less important than the quality of the social interaction and the education. We applied to them, and went to expensive ivy league college tours but only to put the certificate of acceptance on the wall.

Can anyone shed some light on the education part of homeschooling? How hard is it to see if he is learning too much or not enough?

hijack
 

Say what you will about Ivy League grads, but the education I recieved there was second to none and the contacts made are invaluable. I find the idea that people go to those schools in order to work for someone else puzzling at best, since most Yale alums I have interacted with end up highly placed and running the companies they work for or going into academia.

I also never had to worry about financial aid at my school because the endowments are huge. If you got in, they made sure you could afford it. THat is definitely something I have seen lacking in some HBCU's, simply because they don't have as much money.

But you can't really argue with someone's perception.

Re: Re: Re: Home Schooling
 

We're talking high school age, anywhere from about 14-18 years old. But most of the ones I deal with have probably already done the public school thing and for various reasons, their parents decided to home school them. I believe that if you keep him in other activities, he should be fine. I think one advantage of homeschooling is being able to teach him as far as you think he can go - in other words, not having to wait for the rest of the class to catch up, so to speak.

thanks!

I thought of that. He's the kind of kid who would wait for them to catch up. You know how some kids get bored and talk or act up that is how you find out they are gifted or accelerated or something. He would wait quietly at his desk. But the "as far as they can go" thing is there a too far? Can kids know so much they seem weird? I don't think he'd wear his knowledge on his sleeve, but how much can you really tell at 4?

My fiance wants me to promise that he'll go at some point, but problem is, he'll probably know more than his peers, and be put in a class where he is younger than everyone (it happenend to me) then the perceived benefits of going to school would be lost on him anyway. Is it really better for him to learn more than what is required if he is going to go to school eventually anyway?

Prsonally, I think there may be. You will probaby figure out what his "limit" is when you start teaching him. Just make sure you give him stuff that will challenge him, and figure out what you'll do when he gets to the point that his abc's and 123's start to bore him.

But what happens when they get to that point or the parent says "I've taught them all I can"? Then they end up coming to my community college!

Like I said earlier, it's a while before you have to be concerned about that, but that may be an option 10 years from now. If he is showing astronomical intelligence once you start teaching him, you also might want to have him tested to see if he is gifted as well.

Ok, I didn’t read the whole thread but I will throw my two cents in anyway. I was not homeschooled but I know people who do. One uses the Seton Home Study School (http://www.setonhome.org) because she said that the Catholic schools have become too liberal. Another uses the Calvert School because she likes their curriculum. The last person that I know uses Sonlight (http://www.sonlight-curriculum.com/) because the curriculum brings religion into every subject. They are fundamentalist Pentecostals.

I thought about homeschooling my son. After looking at most of what’s out there, I’d pick the Calvert School. My husband is against it but I think that it would be a great experience. There are all kinds of activities for homeschoolers to participate in here. A local homeschool educational supply store offers gatherings for everything from story time to science classes. Our city’s Parks and Recreation Department has independent athletic leagues set up so kids can play sports and they don’t have to be on a school team. There are also several homeschool associations and they have athletic teams too. These associations play against other associations throughout the state. The resources are out there. You just need to find them.

The most important thing to do is to make sure that the program is accredited! I was surprised when I read that some of top names are not. It makes things difficult if you should decide to switch to a regular school or come graduation.

I don't think you can ever learn too much, when a child is curious and has intrests the worst thing one can do is hold them back. I think people get concerned when a child becomes so knowledgeable bookwise but then has no ability to interact with others there own age.

I started reading at a very young age (my mom is now a retired teacher), at the time I was also small for my age so when they wanted to skip me she refused (from pre K to 1 grade and then later again from 5th gr to 7th). How that affected me? I have mixed feelings about this. When I was 4 I was tutoring other 1st grade students teaching them how to read (when my mother found that out she hit the roof and then moved me to private school).

I don't really remember this but my mom told me that at the first "audition" (I don't know what they call it for schools), we were in a room with other parents and kids. All of the white children were given the "See Dick Run" books to read, each took their turn and could read but i her opinion did nothing all that special. When it was my turn the lady in charge handed me the "Life in the City" reader (I'm showing my age but if you are of a certain age group we had these series of books throughout elementary school). Well they were shocked when I opened the book and started to read. The woman thought I had memorized it and asked me to read from another book, which I did. Although they finally offered me admission my mother decided from their attitude she wouldn't put me there as the token black and instead put me in a Christian school. While my religious instruction was fine, the teachers I had didn't know how to deal with me academically. In hindsight, they should have given me additional assignments since my mom wouldn't let me be skipped. Instead, they put so much an effort to keep the slower kids up to par I just coasted by with barely any effort (again with me as a tutor). You know in elementary school its never "cool" to be the smart kid so instead of embracing my abilities I was constantly trying to pretend I didn't know as much as I did. If I had other interaction with kids outside of school who were "like me" I wouldn't have felt like such an outsider and would have kept my love of learning fresh. And frankly although I consistently scored outside of my age range I don't believe I ever scored "genius" (my math/quantitative skills sucked then and now). I just needed to be moved up because I was ahead of others in my age range.

In hindsight (and in discussions with my mom), she finally acknowledges that things could have been handled differently. She was so concerned with me being overwhelmed socially but didn't see how it hampered my education at the time.

My suggestion, you can teach your child additional things to keep his brain occupied but let him go to school. If there is something that your son has an aptitude for seek other avenues for him to study that outside of school (for me it was piano) and be with others that are on his level. You can also engage his mind by teaching him another language - if you start now, he'll be fluent by the time he finishes elementary school and can still start a 3rd one in JHS. There is so much in this world, one can never learn too much. In other parts of the world its normal for children to be fluent in many languages and its easier to learn as a child. There is so much that is NOT being taught in school (especially about black history and dare I even go into carribean history) you can't run out of material. I think if you give your son additional / supplemental educational support at home he will turn out well rounded.

[The following is from my mom]
To ease your mind, there are tests that you can have administered to test his IQ and levels. I'm not sure where you live but if you really believe he is above average there are other programs for kids that are better than being home schooled especially if you are not a trained educator. Everyone focused on the success stories, but home schooling is not neccesarily the best choice for a child who may be gifted. What ever school you place him in you have to be prepared to supplement it. Do your homework and get him in a good school and you can always add to it.