To Associate or Not?
 

Hello to the Ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha and fellow SF's! I don't normally reply too much, let alone start a new topic, so I'm a little nervous! And before I start, let me say that I did search before posting :C) So, I'm hoping that you all could help a SF out. Here's the story:

I just began actively pursuing Alpha Kappa Alpha this year along with a few other sisterfriends at my school. One in particular I had known for some time and I consider her a friend. She was the one to convince me to put my shyness to the side and start attending events and meeting other members of the chapter at our school. Needless to say, the group of sisterfriends got to a certain size, we let each other know when events were and got to know each other. Whenever possible, we all tried to go to events together. However, because I was working full time and going to school, I wasn't able to attend nearly as many events with them and didn't get to know them as well as I wanted to. But regardless of that, they still were friendly and helpful and still kept me "in the loop" of everything going on. My friend was always encouraging me along the whole time, even at times when I would be like, "I don't think I can do this!" She'd say to me, "If it's in your heart, you can," and since this sorority is really inside me, I knew I could.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to submit this past semester for all kinds of reasons; one in particular being that I didn't just want to submit with the minimum, and I needed more time to have things in order and focus more on my schoolwork. I talked to my friend about this because we wanted to submit together. She was understanding and I encouraged her to submit anyway if the opportunity was presented to her.

Imagine how happy I was when I found out she had become a member this past semester (Spring 2001)! I was genuinely happy for her as well as that same group of SF's that I had associated with too.

For some reason now though, whenever I think about seeing them (which won't be until Fall), I feel different. They're not SF's anymore, they're members. I'm still on the outside looking in, so I'm feeling confused about associating with them. Because I'm still pursuing what they have earned, should I continue to associate with them or take a step back? I'm going to continue going to and supporting the chapter's events as much as I can, but I don't want to have other people thinking, "Well since she's associating with them, she's trying to get in easily". And while my friend said, "If I do become a member, then I'll help you out", I told her no, because I want to have earned it like everyone else.

What should I do, if anything at all? Perhaps I'm overreacting, but I would like some insight on this. You all give some good advice http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Sorry this turned out so long!

In Service,
gamma_girl

First of all, don't worry about what other people think. This is not about them, this is about you.

I have been there before, and if they are your friends, then you won't stop associating with them. Do your thang, and keep on keepin' on!!!

What sorority are you currently a member of gamma girl52?

I think you should still associate with them. Why stop now if you have been associating with them all this time? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Speaking as a SisterFriend who has been in similar shoes....

Gamma, friends are friends. Friends are going to stick by your side. Period.

I assure you that, if anyone even cares, when people start 'speculating' -- if you ignore it and continue being as earnest and sweet as you sound in your message... EVERYTHING will pan out.

Remember I am speaking in the tone of someone who's felt the same way... and now I've found that the few gossipers that cared lost their power when I continued my friendships with former SFs (now Members) as they were... FRIENDSHIPS.
Don't give a shadow of a an assumed speculation power over any part of your life. You are stronger, smarter, and sweeter than that... right? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

You are stressin' http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif
Chill... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/cool.gif
Focus... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif
You've got a whole lotta work before you, and you are going to need your good friends around for moral support... not just for help with your pursuit of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated.

So continue, strive, work hard, do well... No need to feel weird.
(and i admire you for having/maintaining high standards for yourself, i.e. your grades. Yougoguuurrrl!!)

Peace

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"No matter how worthy, admirable or fiercely desired the goal may be, it takes commitment and action to make it a reality."

Thanks everyone for your advice, it has helped a lot!

I was thinking too, I know that they're the same people they were before they became members and I don't want to treat them differently. It's my hope that everything will work out for the best, and I'm going to continue expressing my interest in this great organization.

BTW, I am a member of Gamma Sigma Sigma National Service Sorority at my school.

Thanks again for the replies! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

In Service,
gamma_girl