Larger fraternities/sororities vs smaller ones
 

Even though I'm a male and currently in the process of rushing fraternites, I'm open to opinions from both the male and female perspective...

So I'm checking out fraternities... I know it is important to find out where you fit in best. But what are some positives and negatives of choosing a small house vs a larger house?

It seems that with a smaller house, you would have a better opportunity to meet all of its members and become closer to them. But a lot of the smaller houses (on my campus, atleast) don't seem to have a very strong standing in the overall picture.

So far, I've been checking out mostly bigger houses, but I did not want to exclude the smaller ones...

2 Larger ones (90+ members) and a small one (50-60ish members)

At the small house, to be completely honest, I had one of the best times hanging out that I've ever had.. The guys were all friendly and knew how to have a good time... Sadly enough, every other people I talk to seems to have something bad to say about them.. That they're dorks, blah blah blah...

What others say doesn't really bother me much as long as I feel it is right for me, and I definately am not excluding it because of what these others say. It just kind of makes me wonder why girls (who would have no benefit for dissing this fraternity ) would all say bad things about it.. it just makes me wonder... is there something I'm missing? or are they just dissing it because its not a huge strong house like some of the others?

Babbling on again... lol back to the initial question...
What are the benefits of joining a large house over a small house? and vise versa.

Thx!!
-Matt

Matt,

I don't think it should be a matter of size, but a matter of comfort. You shouldn't join anything because it's big or because it's small. If you don't feel comfortable with the guys in the house or you don't like the house itself, then you should drop it. It shouldn't be because it's too small or too big.

Hi, Matt.
 

I'll offer you the best advice I have and it is based on a great deal of experience. First, I do strongly encourage you to join a fraternity. All of the attractive, life-long advantages are really as strong as advertised.
That said, if you are on a campus where the fraternity system is fairly stable, strong and established the the best advice is to choose either a small house or a large one, but DO NOT COMPROMISE and join a mid-range house thinking it will give you the advantages of both. Here's why:
Small fraternities and large fraternities ("small" and "large" being defined by the context of the campus) have distinctly different personalities and offer distinctly different advantages. In the end, what's important is what you want.
Small fraternities do have a greater closeness and day-to-day familiarity that is not possible in the large house. The atmosphere is more relaxed and less competitive. Those personal relationships are likely to remain strong across a lifetime. The disadvantages are that small houses cannot compete on campus with the large houses, specifically in terms of intramural sports, relations with what are perceived as the top sororities, and for the high-profile popular rushees. If you want to share greek letters with the student body president or the captain of the football team, you're going to be very lonely.
The large houses offer prestige, a championship pedigree and morale based on competition and success. Men who join large houses tend to be more ambitious and aggressive. The disadvantages include a high rate of membership turnover meaning that if you don't come around for a semester or a year, you are likely not to recognize a lot of faces when you come back.
The quality of the lifelong friendships are pretty much the same either way you go.
The mistake is joining a mid-level house that will likely never achieve top, large fraternity status, nor offer the relaxed, non-competitive atmosphere of the small house. Fraternities in both extremes of the spectrum are comfortable and happy with their identities. With the mid-size house you get lots of arguing about what theyr should be and an inconclusive identity. they may be one thing one year, and launch off in another direction the next. Maybe they'll find the right place for them eventually, but you only have four years, and you want your experience to be a stable as possible.
As for me, I'm a large fraternity guy. But I understand the appeal of both, and both are attractive for their own reasons. All the best to you in making your choice.

Taualumna - I couldn't agree with you more. You're right, it shouldn't be about size... Thanks for your post, I will definately take your advice to heart when making the tough decision.

Firehouse - Wow. Thanks SO much! Your post covered everything I could have ever wanted to get out of this thread and more. I think I am leaning towards a particular larger house on campus. For many reasons, but specifically the fact that it is larger, like you said, gives it an advantage in sports that some of the other smaller houses may not have (I've very competitive in sports, and being #1 is very appealing to me in this area), I know a few brothers of this fraternity, and also most of the guys I have met have gone out of their ways to be extremely nice and informative.

I appreciate your posts so much. Thank you for your advice, you've made the decision process a lot less stressing for me...

I'm an early starter (I graduate from HS in May) but I'll definatelty keep you all updated on how everything goes...

Thanks again, I appreciate it.
-Matt

Something also to consider.

On many campuses, a chapter can go from the "smallest" to the "largest" and vice versa within a couple or years or so. The heart of the chapter can be a huge factor in which way it ends up.

Sikes, let me give you a bit of advice.

I don't care what the size of the house is. If you're choosing between 50-60 vs 80-90, there's not a lot of difference. They're all fairly large compared to national averages and all that. Your interactions with your fellow members won't be wall that different.

My best advice to you during rush is to totally IGNORE how great their parties are, what kinds of girls are at their parties, etc.. Try to find out how many members drop out early, pay attention to things like their GPA's, how their members treat eachother and the types of relationships the brothers within the house have with eachother.

KTSnake makes A Good Point
 

The relationships the Brothers have is a good way to judge the fraternity. Since you are an outsider, the best way to tell is to see how they treat YOU. If they are friendly and sincere in dealing with you, then the chances are that they observe a high standard of brotherhood within the house.

I agree with ktsnake on the point that 50-60 isn't a big difference versus 80-90.

Don't go for a house just because it is big or small. Go for the whole package. Find where you fit in best. Just because a bunch of girls are calling the smaller house "dorks" doesn't mean that's what they really are or that you wouldn't fit in there.

To somewhat relate as best I can, my freshman year I hung out with a "big" fraternity on my campus. They were the jocks and the big men on campus, and I was friends with a bunch of them because they lived on my floor and I was the only girl on the soccer team with them. I was invited to their Christmas date party and had a pretty good time hanging out with the guys.

A week later, I was asked to another fraternity formal. This fraternity didn't have the best reputation on campus. They were known for always having the top GPA, being crappy at sports, and having members who always sat in their room having LAN parties. I went despite barely knowing the guy who took me and my 2 friends, but I had a BLAST. I literally knew 2 people other than my date and co-dates, and I had 10 times more fun than I'd had with the "cool guys".

Moral of the story? Sometimes it's more fun to be a geek than the big men on campus? :p Not exactly. But I found a group of friends where I had a great time, and found out that they weren't exactly the stereotype. And their stereotype has changed. They're still smart guys who actually manage to graduate in 4 years, but they've gotten better at sports and have some great times.

Figure out where you fit in. I can tell you that I wouldn't be happy in a sorority where I got all the prestige but felt I couldn't relate to my sisters. If the big house is the full package, go for it. But don't be afraid to go for a group just because it's got 20 less members and a bad rep with a few chicks.

Smaller houses
 

Some really important things to consider…

One: small houses have an amazing opportunity for leadership opportunities. Since there are less members fewer people try to take positions in the house which means you have a good shot at getting one young. If your looking to build your skills thsi is defiantly the way to go.

Two: Chapters can change completely within 4 years. I have seen large strong chapters go down hill in a year. And smaller weaker chapters become powerhouses. It all depends on what their goal is and how they run their chapter. Realize that if you like the brothers other people will too. Trust your judgment

Three: Honestly smaller chapters do have issues because of low membership. Usually their members have to work harder, take on more responsibility, or perhaps even pay more in dues to make up for a lack of numbers. On the other hand they do have (in my opinion) stronger bonds and better friendships.

The best way to go into rush is look for the people that you get along with the best. If you are torn between two chapters go with the one that is growing because “usually” they will continue to do so. Chapters that rest on their laurels are usually about to crash and burn.

No matter what your choice your experience will be amazing. REMEMBER you get out of it as much as you put into it.

Re: Hi, Matt.
 

What is a midlevel house?

From what I've seen generally it's the upper half that changes over and over in the spectrum. The lower half either chooses not to grow and enjoys that or they just stop caring totally and die out. Those that die are easy to distinguish from the ones that are small and the brothers care about each other but not a high profile. But in the other half of fraternities, I've seen large houses become the medium ones and the medium ones become the large ones where they keep competing to be more. What you said about high turnover is definitely applicable here.

I'd just say go with where you feel best. Chances are that if you like those guys and join the house that's right for you, you also tend to care more and also to work harder during rush, competition, etc.

But Firehouse is right - you'll end up with some envy at not being around a huge house and it depends on what your personality is like.

-Rudey

When I joined my local chapter of KDR we had about 18 or so members, then I became rush chairman and made it grow to 30 something members(which is one of the larger houses on my campus). now I'm runing for president on the platform that I built the house for the most part.

so my advise, is join where you can contribute the most. If that means smaller, then that means smaller.

Re: Re: Hi, Matt.
 

Rudey - I think there are maybe 1 or 2 fraternities on campus that have 20-30 members (would be considered very small) So maybe the 60ish one I'm looking at is considered a "mid-sized"

I'm not sure but I think some of the smaller houses remain small because of limited space in their houses... The smaller fraternities seem to have smaller houses... larger have HUGE houses.. lack of funds? I've got no clue. The 60ish person ("small house") seems to have really nice guys in it... Which is what makes it so difficult :(

Awesome advice everyone, you're all makin great points and I appreciate all this help..

Rudey is right, it depends on your personality. If you are going to be looking longingly at the huge prestigious house that gets all the campus honors and saying "I wish I was there!" even if you like the bros in the middle-sized house, go to the larger one. No fraternity or sorority deserves members who are always wishing they were somewhere else.

But if none of that matters to you, go where you like the guys the best. I do understand what people are saying about the middle being the most difficult since they can swing up or down so easily, but depending on the campus that might not be a big deal.

Re: Re: Re: Hi, Matt.
 

It's more than limited funds. A lot of it has to do with a mentality of never wanting to get too big and being too lazy to want more.

I dont see what's so bad about the 60 person house from what you've said. You say some others say that the house has dorks in it but you like them so (I know this sounds bad) maybe you might be a dork and enjoy the dork environment. That isn't there to attack you but I just find it difficult to believe what makes them dorky but what attracts them to you.

And, on a side note, are you sure both houses will take you?

-Rudey

Re: Re: Re: Re: Hi, Matt.
 

Haha maybe I am a little dorky. I liked the guys at the 60-person house because they were very hospitable and tried very hard to go out of their way from me. I did not have 1 complaint about any person I had met.. Although when thinking about it, I know this sounds horrible, but trying to be honest... Some of the guys I met aren't the type of guys I'd hang out with on the weekends in high school (unless I had gotten to meet them and spend time with em), but nonetheless they were great guys, were a lot of fun, and I had a good time... I think it did me some good by getting the opportunity to hang out with them...

Although, I'm not sure if I'd always envy other fraternities... I really have no clue... I also had a great time hanging out at the larger fraternity, and had a good feeling about them too...

Will they both take me? I think so, yes. The smaller one has already "unofficially" offered me a bid, as the rush chairs and president told me they'd like me to join.. I told them I needed to experience more of the greek system a little more before making any big decisions...

The larger one -- I think so. I'm friends with two of the brothers in the house, and the rush chair has invited me back to various activities multiple times... Including hanging out with them this friday... So I don't think that will be much of an issue.. But who knows.