10 Commandment for Choir Members
 

Our Minister of Music gave out the following 10 Commandments for our church choir. I thought I'd share them with you all. If you've got more to add, share them. #6 may have y'all rollin'.

1. Thou shalt have no other activities or committee meetings before thee at choir rehersal time.

2. Thou shalt not make unto the choir director any weak excuses for missing rehearsals.

3. Thou shalt not use the rehearsal time to talk and joke with thy neighbor, for the rehearsal time is limited.

4. Remember the rehearsal time to keep thyself prompt.

5. Honor thy Lord and thy heavenly Father for the talent he gavest thee is to be used for His glory.

6. Thou shalt not KILL the harmony of the group by singing off key.

7. Thou shalt not ignore the director's instructions and requests.

8. Thou shalt not steal thy neighbor's notes when singing separate parts.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness by acting as though thou knowest more about music that the director.

10. Thou shalt not covet the talents of the members.

I'm going to share this with my mother! My mom is on our church choir, and folks are always late. She will love #4.

I KNOW that I am going to give it to my twin aunts. They will love all of them, especially #6. I am still laughing at that one. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

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Jade is the green of my eyes; Rein is the love that flows deeply within...

Hey GC! A friend of mine sent this to me, and made sense to post it here instead of creating a new post (see Moderators, some of us are listening!!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif ). Enjoy!

You Know You Are A Ghetto Christian If....

You lie on an application to get a job and then get up and testify that "God made a way out of no way!"

You get mad at a visitor and call them out for sitting in YOUR seat.

You tell the preacher to baptize you from the neck down because you just got your hair done.

You take 2 hours to get ready for church, get there late, and leave early.

You open your bible and you cough from the dust that flies out.

You say aliens abducted you, but the Lord set you free.

You do not lift your hand during worship because your acrylic nail is broken.

The only time you like to sing in the choir is when they let you sing "your" song.

You do not tithe because you say, "the preacher might be crooked and stealing the Lord's money, so I don't want to give it to him".

After you've done wrong and someone has rebuked you, you don't repent but say, "Well the Lord knows my heart."

You have ever said, "show me in the bible where it says, thou shall not smoke".

Your favorite part of the service is the
benediction.

Your pickup line to all the single women in church is "the bible says, greet one another with a holy kiss".

You thought "the Gospel" was a concert.

You overheard someone say, "We got fed today at service" and you asked if they served chicken.

You think "The Trinity" is just a new female gospel group.

You just got finished smoking on the outside of the church and then try to lead a song, get choked up, holding your throat and
say to the congregation, "The devil don't want me to sing this song."

The only scripture you know is, "Jesus wept."

You know you attend a ghetto church when they stop worship to announce someone parked in the pastor's spot and they are currently
being towed.

I have a choir commandment.

Thou shalt not think that the congregation doesn't notice when you talk THE ENTIRE CHURCH SERVICE. It is more noticeable when you're an elevated platform in front of the sanctuary, believe it or not. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif

Here's another one...

Thou shalt remember that thou has entered the House of the Lord and not the Club, and dress appropriately during services and rehearsals.

...we've got some younger girls in the choir who dress "skankalicous" (Hey, Beyonce - here's a new song title for you!!! Work with it girl!!!)

AMEN to that one!

I thought this was just my church! My senior year in high school, this guy (also a senior)
came to play the piano for our choir. I admit the dude was fine, but you would not BELIEVE how these little girls started showing up to rehearsal! All "skankalicious" and whatnot, leaning all over the piano.. me and my friend used to just TRIP over that mess. I need an icon for "shaking my head". http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif

HOW COME i was roooollllling at this one for about 5 minutes!!! http://www.plauder-smilies.de/rotfl.gif