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Chauvinist Pig (aint neva lied)
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None - It should be opened by the time she brings it. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course - He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always.âEUR(tm) ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. |
REBUTTAL
He said . .. . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said... You wear pants don't you? He said . . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said . . . Good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said . . ..Turn sideways and look in the mirror! He said . . . Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? She said . . . I would but you're never there. He said . . . Why did the man cross the road? She said . . . He heard the chicken was a slut. He said . .. . Why don't women blink during foreplay? She said ....... . . They don't have time He said . . .. What do men and sperm have in common? She said . . .They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. He said . . . How does a man show that he is planning for the future? She said . . . He buys two cases of beer. He said . . . What is the difference between men and government bonds? She said . . . The bonds mature. He said . . . Why are blonde jokes so short? She said . . . So men can remember them. He said . . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She said . . ....... We don't know; it has not ever happened. He said . . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? She said . . . They already have boyfriends. He said . . . What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? She said . .. . A widow. He said . . . Why are married women heavier than single women? She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. He said . . ..... What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? She said . . . They're married. Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you." SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT! |
http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/fart.gif
girls ** boys Quote:
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CT4
hahahahahahahhaaha. Good rejoinder He said . . . Why did the man cross the road? She said . . . He heard the chicken was a slut He said . . . How does a man show that he is planning for the future? She said . . . He buys two cases of beer. |
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Thank you both for a good laugh! :D
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