KillarneyRose |
11-22-2003 09:10 PM |
Found it!
I did some digging, and finally came up with the original post from February of 2001. With compliments to imsohappythatiama, I'm re-running it. And I was rolling on the floor AGAIN after I read it just now :D .....
Quote:
Originally posted by imsohappythatiama
I just want to say that I am so glad that other people are terrified of clowns. My fiance teases me mercifully because I am terrified--TERRIFIED--of clowns. Heretofore, the only other "person" that I knew to be afraid of clowns was Kramer on Seinfeld...which did not give me much support.
Let me tell you a few clown stories.
(1) When I was a kid, this guy who lived down the street from us was home during the day (he was home, sick), and someone rang his doorbell. He got up to see who it was, and there was a clown standing at his door. So he opened the door, and the clown shot him in the face, point blank, and killed him. Turns out that the clown was a hitman, and went to the wrong address . .. this kept me up nights as a child.
(2) Poltergeist. That damn crocheted clown doll pulls the little girl under the bed, and won't let her up again. Horrifying.
(3) The movie, "It." That Pennywise is enough to send me to the hospital, I swear to God. Once I had to lie down on the floor and breathe into a bag because I was flipping through the channels and there was that darn clown Pennywise flapping his big lips. It's giving me the sweats just thinking about it now.
(4) John Wayne Gacy. Don't bring that one up. Ugh. The horror.
(5)That clown in the background of the Christina Aquilera "What a Girl Wants" video. La-la-la, nice video, Christina and gal pals dancing, and then WHAM!!! Big scary clown mannequin the the background! Utterly uncalled for and upsetting! I can't watch that video, because I never can remember which part has the clown in it, and it always sneaks up on me and scares the poo out of me. Ugh.
(6) Clowns hiding the crowd. Why are they always doing that? Like just this morning, I was watching the Today show, and jolly Al Roker is out there shaking hands with the crowd, and the camera is panning faces in the crowd, and them WHAM! There is a big clown face. What's up with that? I don't need that kind of stress in the morning! I spilled my coffee all over my blouse and had to change my outfit. Darn those clowns!
(7) Okay, here is the funniest. You won't believe that my fiance is marrying me after you read this one! When he and I were first dating, he took me to Chicago for a special weekend, and we went to the Museum of Art there, which is incredible. As we made our way toward the Modern Art wing of the museum, we kept hearing this bizarre moaning that was on a loop tape. It just moaned over and over. So we heard this moaning for maybe 30 minutes, and it was driving me crazy, so I said, "Hey, let's go see where that moaning is coming from--it's probably performance art, or something." Now, my fiance doesn't like performance art, but he went with me, and we found the source of the moaning. It was like this little fun house of mirrors, and you had to go into it and push this button, and a film (plus the moaning soundtrack would start up). I was feeling kind of romantic, because it was a dark little secluded area, and I was smooching my fiance (then boyfriend) in this little hall of mirrors-like place when he hit the button, and all of a sudden--I KID YOU NOT--on about 15 screens all around me, were different movies of clowns. A clown getting run over by a bus. A clown sitting on toilet, taking a dump. A clown biting a man's nose off. A clown punching another clown in the stomach. Those are the only ones I can remember, but there were more. And the wailing, my God, the wailing! So I immediately start to cry and hyperventilate. I had not told my then-boyfriend about my clown psychosis, and so he grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me to see what is wrong .. . and I throw up all over him, and then pass out in a slump on the floor. To sum up the rest of the story, he has to drag me out of the hall of mirrors thing, and lay me out on the floor in the middle of the art museum, and an ambulance comes and gives me oxygen. It was HORRIBLE! The most embarassing moment of my adult life.
And THAT, friends, is WHY CLOWNS ARE HORRIBLE!!!!!]
|
|