"Hoods" vs. Real Women
 

Most black men find it easier to settle for a hood rat because...
.....he doesn't have to work to improve himself.
.....he already feels like he's better than she is, so she should be grateful to have him.
.....he doesn't have to compromise his position, she will simply do whatever he wants or be replaced, hood rats are easy to come by.
.....he doesn't have to worry about his sexual satisfaction, she knows exactly how to please him she has had plenty of instructors.
.....he doesn't have to be concerned with whether his friends and family will like her or if they'll be nice to her because they know that she's just temporary or he just won't take her around.

When he comes into contact with a real woman, he panics because...
.....he worries that she is "too good to be true".
.....she has to be hiding something.
.....he worries that she has too much what does she need him for? she did all of this by herself.
.....he worries that he will have to change his lifestyle.
.....quality time will replace booty calls.
.....hangin' with the fellas will become a scheduled event.
.....he worries that he has to prove himself worthy of her.
.....he has to get himself together first and come correct.
.....he has to become the best because that's what she expects.

While the hood rats are out kickin' it, foot loose and fancy free...
Real women are sitting at home wondering when their next date will be.

While the hood rats are at the grocery store with their food stamp card...
Real women are in college, into their careers, or on their jobs working hard.

While the hood rats are figuring out how many men they can play at the same time...
Real women are hoping for just one who won't try to play with her mind

I wish I could get black men to know...
.....You can't make a housewife out of a ho'.
.....You can't turn fiction into fact.
.....a hood rat will always be just that.

I truly wish I could help black men to realize...
.....That having a real woman is worth the compromise.
.....A good woman is an achievement; a treasure untold.
.....An asset to your efforts; gratification for your soul.

Don't waste all of your time kickin' it with hood rats...
....Because someday all the real women will be gone.
.....And you'll wake up one day faced with two options:
.....Life with a rat or life all alone.


Men and Women of GC, what are your thoughts on this? I borrowed this from another group

Re: "Hoods" vs. Real Women
 

I think these things are true for immature or insecure men (not just Black men in my opinion/experience).

THIS ONE IS ESPECIALLY TRUE!!!

I don't know. I don't like dividing women in that manner. I mean, I just don't like making it an issue between women and hoodrats. But, that's just me.

Re: "Hoods" vs. Real Women
 

Not to offend anyone but most of these, IMO, were HUGE generalizations. I think the maturity/cultural background of the person influences what you look for. We all take weird turns through adolescence but as you mature and understand what makes you solid, you're drawn to and seek out someone capable of meeting your emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs (and vice versa) not just focus on the physical (as we like to do in high school :D )

Thinking back on it, I can't ever say I ever dated a "hood rat." ...I thought about one who wore her jeans exceptionally well, but I pulled up. :D

I agree with my phrat. I think it's all a matter of maturity. Although my last relationship is str8 testimony to this list. :( This reminds me of the book, When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost.

But I will say this though. I don't appreciate how the list made it seem like real women can't handle their sexual affairs. All "hoodrats" aren't hoes and all "real women" aren't prudes. Shoot. :p

Re: "Hoods" vs. Real Women
 

I think that some men realize this...it is just that the ones we want to realize the worth of a woman often don't.

Clap, clap, clap, clap, say it!!! I agree totally and with what Tony Posted.....

It's okay but...
 

does the writer seem a little, well, bitter? How can a person say of all these people are like this and all of those other people are like that? Along the lines of what Ideal08 was saying but broadening it: I know plenty of people who are "hoodrats" in some areas and "real women" in others. Black women need to stick together and help each other, not point fingers and call each other names.

I agree with what AKA2D91 said, though: A man will have to compromise in order to have a (any color) woman who is faithful and will stick by him through "the storm." It seems that a lot of black men duck out of the relationship when they feel they're being cuckholded. They don't understand partnership because many have never seen it modeled. They feel like they're being "controlled" when, in fact, women (in all cultures) have historically always made most household decisions. It's the way of family life. What is the big deal? :confused: No matter how competent we are, though, WE NEED THEM. Their power in the relationship is innate. Women and men need each other. No matter whether they make household decisions or not, they are not dispensible.

But, compromise with a black woman is the LAST thing some Black men want to do. Many would much rather compromise with a white woman; somehow they feel like they can keep their manhood while still working as a team when they're paired up with a white woman (or Asian, or Indian, or anything but Black). I don't understand it. People say we come off too strong, too loud, etc., but that's all a bunch of whooey. I know far too many "other" women who come off much stronger (I've seen plenty of Asian women check their husbands with an audience and white women shoot their husbands that "I'll kill you when we get to the car" look - also with an audience) and most of the time their men don't seem to have a problem with it. They seem to work with the one they're with and understand that their importance lies in being who they are - not in having control of the minutia.

OK, off my soapbox. I think I'm changing the thread to "why don't many black men want to just work with us" and I'm sure that's been discussed elsewhere.

(I edited the message to make sure I wasn't applying a stereotype to the entire black male population, thanks Soror)

Just passing on something I found interesting....
 

For Clarity


Ummmmmmmmmmmmm....I only am the messenger of this "piece". I am not the author of this. :D :o

Well yeah,
 

I figured so. You are nothing close to "bitter," dearie.

why dont black men work with us?
 

Choo ChooAKA raised a good question here.

I shy away from it though, because it's another generalization. Some brothas do. Many don't. I think it all has to do with upbringing and whether they were exposed to healthy relationships.

The problem is that relationships in the black community between the genders have the same problems that were inherited from slavery. Our men went from not being allowed to have cohesive famly units and bonds, to being in a position where the government punished you for it over a century. Now we are facing a situation where the real barrier to forming these relationships is ourselves.

Our poorer communities, like many poor communities, are deeply dysfunctional. You are more likely than not to have no male figure. And that is something that screws up both genders, and the legacy of which is felt in future generations.

We have to learn to live together.

why don't we work with our Black men?
 

The flipside of that, Soror lovelyivy, is that many of our women don't work with our Black men. We expect a man to have certain things when stepping to a relationship. But many times, it's US that don't stand by our men. We can't understand where they are coming from half the time, and may write them off as lazy or having no motivation instead of serving as a source of encouragement. (and I'm not talking about men who simply cannot and will not hold a job. not at all!!) This, too, is a huge generalization, but still. I do agree with what you said about seeing healthy relationships as well as the part on dysfunctionality.

The topic makes my head hurt sometimes. :(

It's not just you. I'm a firm believer that a woman can rise above her circumstances with the right influences in her life. I'm my sister's keeper, after all.

Re: why don't we work with our Black men?
 

Soror some men and women are beyond help!!!!!!!! What potential things is your mate doing to improve themseleves. And in defense of some people how do we know that the sister is a hoodrat???? I have never dated a hoodrat and would never desire to. I think women support their men and men support their women but I think we need to start understanding that we are not perfect phirst(ie as in me)! I think women and men expect perfect people.........sorry there are none so start accepting people for their faults.

AND THATS THE BOTTOM LINE
CAUSE THE SPHINXPOET SAID SO!!!!!!!!