You Might Be A Grad Student If. . .
 

You Might Be a Graduate Student if.......


You just might be a graduate student if...

...you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.

...your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.

...you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own
joke across the Internet.

...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.

...you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.

...you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.

...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.

...you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.

...you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while
researching a single paper.

...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."

...you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.

...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at
the library.

...you look forward to summers because you're more productive
without the distraction of classes.

...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.

...you consider all papers to be works in progress.

...professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.

...you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than
the actual text.

...you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are
now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.

...you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.

.. you reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you
realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.

....you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th
grade".

....you start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."

....you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting
scurvy

....you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry

....you have more photocopy cards than credit cards

....you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as
"personal communication"

The Top Ten Lies Told By Graduate Students
 

Top 10 Lies Told by Grad Students
The Top Ten Lies Told By Graduate Students

10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making
$80,000 a year on Wall Street.
9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/article/chapter.
8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
7. I would never date an undergraduate.
6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
4. I just have to read one more book and then I'll start writing my thesis
3. The department is giving me so much support.
2. My job prospects look really good.
1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.

Difference between Grad School & Hell
 

Difference between Grad School & Hell
TOP 10 SUBTLE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN GRAD SCHOOL AND HELL


10. It doesn't rain in Hell.
9. Everyone has heard of Hell.
8. It's a lot more fun getting into Hell.
7. You can't fail out of Hell.
6. At least you can sleep in Hell.
5. Hell is forever; Grad School just seems like it.
4. People smile in Hell.
3. You only have to sell your soul to go to Hell.
2. There are hot men and women in Hell.

And the #1 Subtle Difference between Grad School and Hell:
(drum roll)

1. You would never tell a friend to go to Grad school!

Are you in grad school CT4? ;)

I'm personally loving the "differences between grad school and hell" !!

LOL, nope just a bored broke woman on a Sunday morning who knows there are a lot of folks on GC in grad school.

I took some grad courses while I was teaching, though. :)

As an ex-grad student who is planning to go back to grad school, I thought those jokes were funny!

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/...xxrotflmao.gif

Heheheh...those are great! I'm going back to school this spring. Thanks for scaring me, CT4 :D

So I'm sitting here, writing a paper that will be turned into my senior thesis that will be used for applying to graduate school, and this is what I see on GC during my study breaks. Thanks, CT4. :p

Wow, it pretty much describe my post-grad days, esp. bout the professor not caring when you hand in the work. Also, not dating undergard, never did that. ;)

Very cute! Thanks for the laugh! Now I guess I'll get back to this exciting appraisals and assessments stuff that I need to turn in someday soon!

If you are making fun fo Graduts, that is not funny!:(

Many of us have worked hard to get out of college in 7 1/2 years with a degree in BS!:cool:

If I had not gotten married (Divorced now) I would still be working towards many degrees of???????:)

any other grad students here teaching, too? - sometimes I want to show up to the class I teach in pajama pants and a sweatshirt.

Yeah grad school is SO MUCH damn reading. But luckily my program is not a thesis program :) I have to do a 9 month residency instead.

Grad school
 

You might be in grad school if...

you can't tell which of the last 30 drafts of a paper was the one to submit for a grade.

you are considering naming your first born child with monikers that spell SPSS.

sleep is considered an optional recreational activity.

"The Committee" means some semi-secretive organization designed to keep you in Hades on Earth.

FYI: I ACTUALLY had a serious discussion with Mr. Silver about our eating habits and scurvy just this week!

Silver

I'm starting grad school at Vanderbilt in January. Guess I know what I'm looking forward to! :)