Help please!!
 

Hey Delta Zetas. I am at a lose of what to do. I know that a lot of you have probably been in this situation before and I hope that you can give me another sisterly perspective. I love all of our new members and they keep the flame burning for me. Everytime I see them, I get excited and I hope that they can have the same sorts of opportunities that I did when I was a new member. I feel like I have no one to talk to, because I don't want anyone else in my chapter knowing how I feel. I don't want the new members to get any sort of a negative vibe and I don't want to bring any of the active chapter members down. Plus, I don't want to tell my other friends (not in the chapter) because I don't want word to spread around the Greek Vine
I am just having a lot of problems with the advisors and the president. Every week, I leave meeting crying and upset. Yesterday I was told that I may not get my alumni status this semester, even though I am going to study abroad and will graduate college in Europe. I know that eventually, I will get it, but I am sad that I am not included in senior activities and probably won't be recognized at formal with all the other seniors. I know that I didn't get senior status (a pre alumni status, where we are not required to attend every meeting) and I can understand the advisor's perspective. Tonight, I received another e-mail, saying that the Panhellenic Council and University hazed the new member class because we had a Greek 101 that was three hours long and the new members couldn't snack or go to the bathroom during that time. This was such a lie. The new members could leave at anytime to attend to their business, plus the program gave the new members a fifteen minute break, plus five other breaks during workshop changes. Greek 101 is an educational program put on for all the new members in the entire greek system and it is University mandated- not Panhellenic. There were some other things in the letter that were not accurate either.
One of our alumni-advisors told me that I wasn't doing my job properly because I faxed something to her 12 hours late. This is the same advisor who told me that I needed to dedicate more time to Delta Zeta. I spent the evening helping a Delta Zeta, which is why I was late faxing her the documents.
It just seems that they have a vendetta against me and they know that I can't do anything about it because I am so close to graduating. As Delta Zeta's, please give me advice, so that I can handle these next two months. Thanks!!

Hey! I am sorry to hear you are having issues during your last semester! That is the worst. :( I have seen similar things like this happen during my time. About your alumni status, if you are transferring schools, then you should be granted alumn status as long as you leave the chapter in good standing financially, academically, and morally (ie. you are not on probation for anything). As for your issue with your advisor... as long as you continue to represent yourself and Delta Zeta in a positive way.. who cares if something is turned in a little late (as long as you don't make it a habit).. don't focus on the negative comments from people.. take them with a grain of salt and do what you know is right.. obviously helping out a sister is more important than faxing a document.. so it is a little late.. make up for it next time by going a little out of your way to show her you really do care. Remember that being an advisor can be stressful too. She doesn't know that you were being a good friend and helping a sister, all she knows is you were 12 hours late.. Also, you mentioned that you feel they may have a vendetta against you.. maybe you should explain to them why you are taking status early and how important it is to you to experience studying abroad.. but that Delta Zeta is still important to you. Get it all out now so you can enjoy your last semester active.. don't wait until the end and realize you should have cleared the air 2 months before. Don't be afraid to talk to your e-board about how you are feeling.. trust me, if you are feeling this way, they can sense that you are not happy.. don't worry about "bringing them down," it is better to talk about it and get it all out there, rather than hold it in and then nobody knows how to help you. Good luck sweetie!

Absolutely correct. If you leave the school & you are in good standing, there is nothing whatsoever that they can do to take your alumna good standing status away.

Hang in there--DZ is for life. I beg you not to let a few bad months and personality conflicts ruin it forever. I don't have both sides of the story, but sometimes advisors forget that there is more to life than DZ. If you are active on Panhellenic, you have a heavy burden that shouldn't be hampered.

PM me if you need to vent some more. *virtual hugs*

As always, Andi's advice is right on target. Just ride out the next two months. I realize that it seems like a long time but in the whole scheme of your Delta Zeta life it is not long at all. It is a whole new world being an alumna; much less pressure and in many ways much more enjoyable.

Good luck, sweetie! Please keep us posted on how you're doing :)

Thank you all so much for you words of wisdom. It made me feel better that people understand. I called National and they sent me the form to request temp alumni status while I study abroad. I just don't know yet how my temp alumni status turns into regular alumni status, but I am sure I can find that out soon. Now I just have to get up the courage to ask my advisor to sign- I am afraid she will say no.

Last night there was another incident between the advisors and myself. This morning I was ready to resign from Panhellenic President and send in my badge to National. After speaking to the Greek Advisor at school, I am going to sleep on it for another few nights. I really do want to stay active for two more months- actually 5 more meetings and 1 night of senior ceremony.

Thanks for all your support again. I didn't realize how important GC was to me. I check it so many times throughout the day to see what people are talking about!!

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this personality conflict...but it isn't worth losing your lifetime connection to something you clearly love. Buck up, hang in there...get your temporary alum status. If your advisor refuses to sign it, call your RCD for some guidance-National Council does not want to lose potentially productive alumnae over a dispute about eligibility for temp alum status. The only reason they (your advisors) should refuse is if you don't meet the requirements of temp alum--studying abroad/student teaching/internships are some of the things that qualify.

Yes, Andi is right.. Nationals makes the final decision regarding alum status, not your advisor. Don't stress too much about that. As long as you are in good standing, then there's no reason she shouldn't sign it, as studying abroad is reason to be granted temp. alum status. Hang in there and don't do anything that you are going to regret later.