help!
 

We have a sister in our chapter who is also a member of DZ. She's a great girl...but one problem. She always tries to run SAI like we are DZ. And although both groups have similarities, we have totally different purposes! She tries to make us into a social sorority, which we *aren't*. Not to say there's anything wrong with them, because there isn't...but SAI is a *music* fraternity. We do social things too of course...but you get what I'm saying.

She always wants to be really selective when voting who to extend bids to. The thing is, we don't have a quota, and since we're a small chapter the rest of us want as many new members as possible!

I feel like she is treating us like we are DZ, and we're a little frustrated. Things that work well for DZ don't necessarily work for us, and vice versa. See what I'm saying? Any advice??

One of two ways to go about it

1) Have the president speak with her candidly about it over lunch. Explain that while her opinion is valued and her ideas are important, SAI's mission and purpose require that it be run a certain way. The sister should be encouraged to keep submitting her ideas, but to be conscious of the organization.

2) At your next meeting, have a review with all your members of SAI's mission, and the way to go about submitting ideas and effecting change. Remind your members that there certain reasons SAI exists, and that while a fraternal order, your membership selection is not comprised of the same criteria of a social sorority, and that you are dedicated to recruiting members committed to the ideals of high educational standards and appreciation of music.

At best, have a combination of 1 and 2--- try the all-chapter review first and if the behavior persists, the president should have a heart-to-heart with the member. The talk should be heart-to-heart, honest and non-threatening.

This member obviously cares a great deal for SAI and is only trying to interject ideas that she believes will help SAI to grow and become stronger. Don't alienate her-- find an alternative method and route that passion-- perhaps put her in charge of planning something social or related to academics, etc.

Find a happy medium-- one where she tones it down and understands your mission, and where you find a way to utilize her ideas and talents so you don't lose a strong member.

ARG! This is so frustrating, I know exactly what you mean... my situation was a little different, but I feel your pain entirely!

Three of my sisters (Lisa, Kathleen, and Rachel) and I were all officers in the School of Theatre Student Advisory Council - which was already kind of strange, because we made up over half the council, and since we're friends I think it made other students and officers feel left out - so it was hard to try to keep Kappa stuff out of SAC and vice-versa. But Rachel CONSTANTLY brought up stuff that we had done with Kappa, and how we should try it with SAC - and they were just awful ideas, things that would never work with SAC simply because of how completely different it is from a social sorority! (SAC was basically formed so Theatre students had a voice with the faculty - we also ran an ongoing community service project, had BBQs and parties, ran a student-directed theatre season - kind of like Student Council in high school, I guess)

Lisa and I really didn't know what to do - Rachel would keep bringing up Kappa stuff at SAC meetings, no matter how much we asked her not to - and all the other officers would roll their eyes and it made things very difficult... we never really came up with a solution, so I just wanted to say I totally sympathize with you! :)

We had the president of the DO chapter in our chapter and she did such a good job of not interjecting the two!!! I remember her reminding the other members of DO that even though she is an AGD, she knows the difference and loves her BOTH of her fraternities but knew they had different positions and purposes!
Classy lady!

I would just do what adpiucf suggested.
To me is just sounds like she is so used to the 'rules' and 'guidelines' that surround a social sorority like DZ, that she is transferring those things to SAI. She might not even be doing this on purpose (like she's not aware of what she is doing). But then again she might be doing it on purpose.
Just my thoughts.

Brianna
Alpha Delta Pi