The Rules for Dating and Marriage
 

Per this topic... Had me rollin', but there are some things I wonder...

Dating from...

Moreover, here is the book and website:

The Rules

Tell me what you think?

My take...
 

I actually follow The Rules ala carte style... I take the risk of getting myself hurt, but I walk in with my eyes wide open... Because I followed them, I think that has given me the chance to meet the man I love and call my husband--IMO... I dunno if it will work for others, but they have worked for me...

Hey, you can disagree with me all you want. But if you encountered similar problems as I have had with the "please screw me over" stamped on my forehead, then boot camp style Rules really did work for me...

PM me if you want to know some of them... If you dare... ;)

Inheritantly, I've always followed rules 1, 7, 8, and 9. The rest were totally inapplicable.

I bought the The Sistah's Rules by Denene Millner a couple of months ago. She says the rules for dating black men are much different than those given in The Rules.

Plus, one of the women who wrote the Rule is divorced.

I guess she's writing the Rules of how to KEEP your man. :o :confused:

I too purchased this book and another which I can't remember at the moment. "Our" rules are a bit different. ;)

The Rules for us and them...
 

I think any of these books help when you are sick and tired of being date jacked... ;)

I bought "How to Marry a Black Man." It's more like the Sistah's Rules. It's time for me to get with it.

Rules... sticky subject.
 

I know it can be argued that, ultimately, love is a game, but no one wants to feel like they are being played with. It's necessary to "play," but if the man can sense that, you're in trouble.

The whole key is to say what you mean and mean what you say. If you really want to be in a long-term, commited relationship, don't sit down on your first date and tell him how you love living the single life. If you're not ready to be tied down, don't tell him you are just because it sounds good. Be real! You can't have any regrets if you follow your heart and stay honest.

If you are thinking about him and want to call him, do it. Just be smart. If you ALWAYS have to initiate conversation, chances are he ain't the one! But at least you checked it out! No regrets.

Just stay alert and honest and I believe things have a way of kind of falling into place when it's right.

She needs to because you can just call me Halle or J.Lo. I can' t keep a man either.:( :(

Ok, I have both of those books and no man.

http://www.kurts-smilies.de/help3.gif

Re: Rules... sticky subject.
 

Soror, I guess we will have to agree to disagree...

I think my main idea for this topic was to let it be known for those ladies who may feel like there MUST be a sign on their foreheads that indicates to ignorant men having the audacity to treat people poorly... However, ultimately, it is all a matter of how one chooses who to deal with--a recruitment issue...

Most luser men feel they do not recruit women... That women just flock to them... Why would some women--very intelligent ones want that kind of man??? :confused:

I know, because I was the queen of "I been there, done that"... Just do a search on my username--you'll see!!! ;) :)

I do not think that The Rules are necessarily "game playing". I think they are more like Rules for ladies to keep themselves at bay or maintain control for themselves rather than losing their "panties" over another fool--so to speak...

I have read parts of the "Sistah Rules", and I do not think they jive well the The Rules books by Fein and Schneider... One Rule for sistahs in particular--tell everyone you are looking for somebody... Well, it may be wise to tell the nice "old ladies" at Church that kind of message, but broadcasting it to one's colleagues in rather unwise to me, IMO...

But that is my take.

It is when I witness "date suffering" from various ladies--most especially my sorors, that I can at least impart some kind of knowledge of the past lessons I learned...

That is my main driving force behind this topic...