Opinions on para in public
 

I have just become a part of a new list serve that focuses on sorors, and for the past day or so we have been discussing a very controversial subject. It is affectionately titled 'To drink or not to drink with paraphernalia on'. We have stretched that to be 'go to parties and casinos where liquor is being served'. Sorors please let me know what you think or maybe what you have been told by your prophytes (<-sp.) Many sorors are referring to a spoken promise that you should not wear our colors, letter, or Badge (para) when out with friends at a bar, club, casino. I have a slight problem with this because they are saying it is not respectful, well everything I do is done respectfully to not only myself but to my lord, my family and then AKA. So, if I am not out getting sloppy drunk, and dancing wild then I want to know what the problem is. I feel that when I wear my colors (para) I am representing my sorority very highly. Are people trying to say AKA's don't drink or gamble sensibly or maybe that we don't know how. Please let me know how you feel about this. I am just concerned because I like to represent and if another AKA comes over to me and tells me it is wrong then I am not sure what I would do or how I will react - mind you it is not written in any of our history.
Lastly, our undergrads give parties and the themes usually center around your Greek letters - I, of course was once an undergrad I know what goes on at those parties - so what's up with that, and what about our golden sorors that out of all respect go to Casinos (WITH PARA ON) to past time and have fun....holla at me on this one sorors!
Sisterly

[This message has been edited by LadyAKA (edited March 31, 2000).]

Hello Soror,

Just my little bit. I am assuming you love GOD, your family, and Alpha Kappay Alpha, Inc. I have been around this world and back, literally. I have seen our sorors at stepshows in Germany and Korea partying and having a great time. Personally, I don't drink, and it does not bother me to witness a soror sipping a glass of wine. You have to be true to yourself. If this is really bothering you, then I suggest you search within,,,because maybe your Spirit is whispering to you and you can hear but your are not listening. Now if this is just a problem for other people then you have to make to decide on whether you want to please others or yourself.

I don't think you will bring any shame to Alpha Kappa Alpha intentionally. I am sure that you honor and respecto her.....for that I will honor and respect your decision.

Deja

LadyAKA, your question is a valid one, and I think a lot of Sorors wonder about this same issue. I do believe that we should not wear paraphernalia at any place where alcohol is abundant. The exception to that rule is a college party that is affiliated with a Greek sorority/fraternity, where alcohol is being served. I think this is acceptable only because it is affiliated with college life, as is our sorority.

I don't believe that Sorors should ever be seen in any manner that is not representative of our sorority. Alpha Kappa Alpha was founded as a service organization, and that should be our main focus. So, whether you are drinking or not, you are still representing Alpha Kappa Alpha. I don't think it's a matter of if AKAs drink or not or how much we gamble. It is more a matter of tactfulness. I hold my letters near and dear to my heart, so I don't want to taint the name of Alpha Kappa Alpha in any manner. I have seen Sorors at social events (i.e. Bayou Classic) who have totally embarrassed me. They were pink and green down from head to toe, and sloppy drunk. I think that this unwritten rule protects us from disasters like this.

Personally, I have paid too much money and look much too cute in my para for me to want to wear it in some dark, smoke filled bar where half of the patrons don't even know what my letters stand for.

I say use your head and carry yourself as our founders envisioned AKA women. By doing this, I think the question is a moot point because your heart will tell you when para is appropriate and when it is down right tacky.

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One of those prettty girls, proudly wearing her twenty pearls!

[This message has been edited by Skeeopatra (edited March 31, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Skeeopatra (edited March 31, 2000).]

Interesting topic, soror. Such a choice (when and where to represent) was not an issue to me until I transferred into my grad/present chapter. After a chapter meeting, some of us went out for lunch and had drinks with our meal. I didn't think anyhting of enjoying a mudslide with my entree. Anyway, when the drinks came, one soror gave her pin a little tap and said, "Sorors, don't forget." Everyone nodded and took their pins off. I, being a new jack to the chapter, followed suit, assuming it was just customary or protocol.

Personally, I only wear pins to chapter meetings. If the event is more social in nature, I'll wear some article of clothing with letters or obvious color schemes. Other than that, I keep it to my keychain, chapter tote bag, and wallet. Most of the para I have isn't wearable (i.e. stationery and things like that).

With or without para, Mom taught me to always conduct myself as a lady should; sounds like LadyAKA learned that same lesson http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif. Is there anything in the Protocol Manual (of which I don't have a ready copy available) that speaks to this topic? Just curious.

Sisterly,
APR



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"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it turned into a butterfly."

Interesting topic, indeed. Soror Skeeopatra made some very valid points. When you are wearing 'nalia you are representing Alpha Kappa Alpha to people who would otherwise not know you are an AKA. Therefore, the image you project is the impression they will have of you and maybe the organization.

However, sometimes we may have to look at this based on the situation. If a soror is wearing 'nalia, is out to diner, and wants order a glass of wine, then I don't have a problem with that as long as she conducts herself appropriately. However, I do have a problem with things happening like the one Skeeopatra described at the Bayou Classic. There is no excuse for that type of behavior. I would be embarrassed, too.

Hi everybody
Please excuse me in advance for giving my two cents since I am not greek. I have been reading this forum for a while and it is nice to see intelligent women discussing topics in a tactful manner. Anyway as some of you already mentionned carrying yourself properly in public is something that a Lady should always do. No matter the place and no matter the affiliation. From what I have been reading here, it seems that your organization prides itself in believing that morals and virtue are priceless and a prime factor for member selection. Therefore it may be important to actually define in a global manner a code of conduct that would determine when and where it is appropriate to wear your letters when in public.
It was just a suggestion. Take care you all and have a nice day

Sorors thanks for all the comments I am going to keep chiming in here because I am still a bit unclear. If I am in a casino (which I am about to go to with my MOTHER) and obviously others are in the casino, who in the casino can say oh AKA's gamble (do you understand what I am saying). We are both in the casino, which might I add is not a bad thing, who can call the kettle black or shall I say blacker? I wear my colors every where (I said colors - not the badge, I am almost too afraid to take it out of it's original packaging). So, like I said I wear my colors everywhere, even the license plate on my car refers to AKA, and we all know how road rage sets in so that in itself can be dangerous. My car happens to be a year old but I used to drive an '85 caddy with my plates on, but is that really bad - does that show the character of myself or my organization because my car is old? With these plates I just make sure I drive carefully, which has helped my get out of speeding tickets http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif
..... I always conduct myself in a manner which is appropriate. AKA did not make me, my mother showed me the ways before I could utter Pink and Green or Greek anything. So, maybe I am stressing this a bit much, but I just want more input. I guess I am finding this hard to swallow because I can't think of anytime that I should not or cannot wear my colors or my letters (I am not talking about solemn ceremonies like a funeral or a wedding) but I am not sorry to say that everything I do is proper, knowing that then I feel that everything I wear and everywhere I go is proper. I hope yall understand what I am saying. I really like what Soror Deja said
"I don't think you will bring any shame to Alpha Kappa Alpha intentionally. I am sure that you honor and respecto her.....for that I will honor and respect your decision."
I guess it is a decision you make or better yet a decision I have to make. Also I agree with what sisterfriend Diarra stated
"define in a global manner a code of conduct that would determine when and where it is appropriate to wear your letters when in public".
This is a big professional organization I don't think we can go by do this b/c she thinks this is better. Don't hate me this is just a discussion that has struck me. Thanks sorors
Sisterly
LadyAKA

[This message has been edited by LadyAKA (edited March 31, 2000).]

Soror Lady i hear ya girl, I think if you feel you are wearing para in good taste then that is your prerogative, unless Nationals decides otherwise. Great topic you've started thanks http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Sorors, these are very good points. I only wear 'nalia on good days--meaning my hair is in place, nails are done and I am feeling the lift from life. We, as Sorors, are aware that when we became ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha that we are no longer so and so but "that AKA." Therefore, knowing that we are representing every step we make and every breath we take. We must always be conscious of our actions. As one Soror said, this should not only be true in representing AKA but Black womanhood. There are instances when some women do not think about their actions effecting the whole entity but often it does. There are certain issues, such as alcohol and certain crowds that have negative images. Therefore, I would say, be very careful in making decisions concerning them.

Sorors you all have made valid points. I was taught that outside of greek sponsored parties we should be careful about where we choose to wear para. For example me and some Sorors went to a club each wearing a small pin. However i felt uncomfortable with the crowd that was present and asked the Sorors to remove their pins and everyone did so without hesitation and of course we left as well. That is how i was made, i don't wear para if i am having a bad hair day or am not looking my best because AKA is the best in my opinion therefore we should represent her at our best. I hate seeing Sorors driving wrecked up old or dirty cars with AKA on front but to each his own http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Interesting enough a Frat wrote an article about this sometime back but i can't remember where i placed it. So obviously we are not the only ones trying to answer this question.

I know its an old topic, but I felt like commenting. I have noticed that at any club or party I've been to (that wasn't thrown by a greek org.)throughout undergrad, I never see anyone with greek paraphanalia on. I go to school in the south. I have been wanting to ask if many of you had stopped going out after you became members. Also, at the greek parties, I have never seen any of the greek ladies dance with the exception of a step or train (I don't know the terminology) they do with chants. Is there a reason - or is this something you have not witnessed?

Yeah, the topic is old. I was not a member of this forum back then, but, to add a little twist to this...

I know of a Graduate chapter which sponsors trips to the casino...

Ok Sorors - my sister (Exclusive Emerald) and I are sitting here howling! This is a great topic. This post is long so I don't really remember who said what but here goes....don't wear your pearls with pants or in bars - other para is fine but conduct yourself in a ladylike manner - LadyAKA, I like what you said about your Momma - we too were taught how to be and not to be before our eyes fell on the pearls! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif Worry not about what folks are thinking. You obviously are not the type of Soror stumbling through the casino sloppy drunk and hocking your jewlry so you can bet more! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif Go and have fun with Mom and represent! Pink Bunny, you had me rolling with the dirty car comments! I actually didn't put my AKA tags on my old suzuki just because it didn't seem right. I just bought a new jetta and I am jettin around showing off which brings me to another thang all together. ROAD RAGE! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Does anybody commute a distance to work? Ladies, commuting almost 2 hours one way can make a sister act out! Now with my beloved sorority tags on the back of the car I am trying to be more patient, not cut slow pooks off and basically chill for a minute (I just sent my 1st car payment off for God's sake!).

P.S. We do represent each other. What one Soror does reflects on the rest of us. I would be mortified to see some spring breakin soror in a wet t-shirt contest!

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We will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of your friends. - Martin L. King Jr.

You had me in stitches about sloppy drunk & hocking my jewelry. I have not made any final decisions on this yet, and I have not had to make any judgement calls since I first wrote this, but NARC 2001 is approaching and we will be having it in Atlantic City (home to some of the best casino havens - yes haven). So, this will be interesting, I will be on my best behavior but maybe I need to refer some of our fellow Sorors to this post. Anyway, I can't wait, I am, however, sure we will be fine and make out okay, the sorority lasted 90+ for a reason (actually many reasons) .....peace yall!!

I KNOW THIS IS OLD
 

Hi

my sister is an AKA and last xmas when were where all just chillin' round house i got some wine out so we could sip some :D

my sis was wearing an AKA t shirt and she turned it inside out. I was like "what's up?" she said "we aren;t suppposed to drink in our letters". My brother who's a Kappa was like "whatever!!!"
I just shrugged my shoulders wishing I had letters to represent!

nachural