My friend likes my ex
 

A friend of mine likes this guy that I use to see and it hurts my feelings that she would possible go out with him. She's suppose to be one of my good friends. Why? I was wondering if I should talk to her and let her know how I feel.

I don't want to sit on my feelings and just get hurt.

What should I do?

Some people might think he's fair game, but I don't. If this girl's a good friend, she should know better. I would never squash someone's interest in a person under most circumstances, but in this case, let her know that you feel uncomfortable. There's nothing worse than faking "yeah sure, not a problem" and then feeling a kick in the stomach every time you see them together. That's just my $.02.

Ooooh. That's no good. I thought there was this unspoken rule that says you don't date your friends' ex...that might seem a little archaic, but it prevents a lot of weirdness and tension. Unless she's convinced that he's the love of her life and no other man on earth will do, I think you should tell her how you feel and if she cares about you she'll let him be.

I agree. She is violating the rule. But I know I would have a hard time speaking up about it. It would make me feel petty or jealous. But these types of things destroy good frienships. Thus The Rule .

That season on Friends when Chandler likes Joey's girl. And then goes out with her disturbed me too much. I couldn't watch without fixating on that. All I can think is that it might be different for guys. But for most girls this is a biggie.

I feel like I've been kicked in my stomach every time I hear mention of my XBF with another girl. If he were with a friend of mine, I think I'd move out of state and never speak to her again. It'd be too much to take.

Or, as the Southern Belle Primer says, "Never date your sister's ex-husband until 3 years after the divorce. You may need her to write your daughter a Kappa Kappa Gamma rec someday." :p

If she were a true friend then she wouldnt even consider your "ex" as potential. As for the "ex," he should know better than to provoke one of your best buds. In my opinion, they are both in the wrong and you should move on..without him and find a better friend if things get ugly. You obvisouly didnt keep him around for a reason and keep it that way weather or not your friend is with him or not. Ditch 'em both if they keep up these hurtful tactics. :(

I agree with all of the above. She is wrong. Tell her how you feel.

I definately agree with what everyone has said so far.

It's not cool to date your good friend's ex-boyfriends because that will usually cause weirdness and ultimately, the friendship will probably end :(

I speak from Personal Experience
 

The same thing happened to me...but very shady.

The whole situation was messed up. She was seeing his best friend, and because he was ignoring her, she hooked up with my ex. So basically she hooked up with my ex, who happened to be her quasi-bf to get back at him.
Nice huh?
Then 'they fell in love'. I felt extremely betrayed.
And she couldn't figure out for the longest time why I was upset with her and wouldn't return her phone calls.
It is violating THE RULE.
I'm over it now, but this is about 10 months after the fact. And I'm just starting to trust her again, and I really am not sure that I ever will be able to fully trust her again. The friendship doesn't have to end, but for a good 2 months, we barely spoke, except for the classes we had together. But the frienship will definatly never be the same.

ahhhh what a horrible situation to be in....i hate it, and it sucks...im sorry and i hope she comes to her senses and realizes your friendship is more important than hookin up with someone *hug*

Join them both in an all out love affair.

-Rudey
--The likes that Howard Stern would brag of.

Thanks for the advice I will speak with my friend and let her know how I feel. Again Thank you

At the risk of everyone hating me...
 

:( I find this thread horrible. :(
If you were STILL going out with him and he was dating your friend then THAT would be different! But all this rule nonsense? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

What about your friend? What if this guy could be really good for her, it's not fair to deny her this opportunity of happiness surely? And the guy on the end of this, his relationship with you has ended and you want to sabotage his future with someone and make sure although he isn't going out with you it does not stop there and he may also not go out with any friends or acquaintances of yours?!?!

Sorry to sound harsh but the original poster in here is *not* now going out with this person and it's horrible to go wrecking things because she cannot either accept it's over and move on or get back with him if she still has feelings for him (and if she doesn't have any why even consider it). :(

I am not speaking for everyone. But The Rule is not about the guy. Whenever a relationship ends there are some left over emotions no matter who ended the relationship. It is usually a little uncomfortable to see the ex with someone else. Even if it was you that dumped them. The Rule is there to protect friendships, you can tell yourself to quit feeling that way, and that it is not rational, but it probably won't do any good. And a good friend is aware of this, and will not want these issues to divide you. It is easy to get over the ex moving on when we are talking about stangers, we have no daily contact, it is not something we have to think about. When it is your friend, your friend wants to talk about her new relationship, or gossip. Not really a comfortable situation.

I am still catching heck about a rule violation with one of my sisters. And I don't think I broke the rule. But there was a technicality (we met the same guy at different locations and times, and acted like he liked both of us. I ended up hooking up with him, so I received the violation). And this was about 9 years ago. They don't forget.:rolleyes:

If you were intimate with the young man in question, or if he dumped you, I can see where there could be a problem. Sometimes it's hard to get over those old feelings. Throw a sister into the mix and even though you don't want to NAME it...it's that green eyed devil-jealousy.

How long are you going to carry a torch for the guy. Why not move on and find someone who deserves you? I have to agree to a degree with decadence .

The dating habits of many on GC are astounding to say the least. If every guy some of you all liked was "off limits" or subject to "the rule" who would ever be eligible to date?

Not insinuating this is the situation here, but in general, if you can't move on, you are stuck in the past. If you think there is a chance in the future, well, that's a lot different. If you KNOW it's OVER-go forward and let your sister have a life.

I think this may sound "meaner" than I intended.
BTW-in this issue of GQ, they said if no hanky panky (below the belt) 6 months is the wait limit for guys to ask out an ex's friend.