Tight Lipped Alum Initiates
 

Question: Why are the PAINM (potential alum initiate new mems) being so secretive? Are the simply holding off until everything is finalized or are they blatently teasing us?!? I'm feeling clueless! Ya'll are worse than the collegian PNMs! :(

Speaking as a recent PNAM, I was tight lipped because of some advice I got here. It was suggested that it's not a good idea to express your intentions in the event that group #1 doesn't pan out. Kind of like when PNMs go through recruitment and they leave their selections secret until they get a bid.

Honestly, no, it's not a matter of teasing or forcing people to guess.

If you think rush is complex, try it from the alum side sometime. OY!!!!!

Because AI is not as widespread or standard a process as collegiate rush it's best to tread lightly. Some orgs are perfectly fine and understanding of the idea of meeting different groups for the best fit--just like rush. Others think that if you meet more than one group, then you're just going through the list to see who takes you--even if that's 100% false. Still others think: "What in the hell are you doing THAT for???"

Even within an organization, you can have all 3 of the above.

I started pursuing AI with a GLO back in November. It was not NEARLY as simple a process as I convinced myself it was.

I'm appreciating more and more the "mutual selection" and why it's necessary. The initiated sisters know their ritual and their group's secrets, so what *I* think may be a perfect fit, may not be after all. I have much more faith in the org that I'm pursuing and the people there because they have the inside scoop--they can see if I match the private side of their ideals, while I can only see the surface. That makes it somewhat easier not to take things personally if things don't work out the way I thought they would. The ritual was laid down over 100 years ago (hint) so it wasn't like, "Hey, we're going to design this so Adrienne won't fit in when she does AI after the year 2000." It was created by people of their time, and either I'm going to match or I wont'. At least there is some safeguard there so that I won't have secrets revealed to me that I have a serious problem with.

If it's any consolation--I'm dying to spill the beans too! And when I do, I'm telling the WHOLE story and all the ins and outs, which will hopefully help both future PNAMs and alumnae initiated in college with the whole AI process.

I'll drop ONE hint on my AI pursuit: after researching every org I could find (and there are MANY) I decided to pursue an NPC org. That's it, no more hints!

Adrienne (PNAM-2003)
:D

I think people don't list their potential orgs. because they do not want to "claim the new car before they get it". I know when I was searching for an org. during undergrad, I contacted several orgs for information and some of them never even emailed me back....while another changed its mind at the last minute and decided not to colonize at my school.

I think that adduncan, ariesrising & Eirene_DGP make a few good points; the AI process is a lot harder than many think compared to the formal recruitment process now that I've been on both sides so to speak.

I think there are more downs & ups versus formal rush. At least those going through rush will know where you stand on pref night/bid day (rush 5-14 days ); versus the completel AI process which can take anywhere from 60-120 or more days.

Interesting...

When I was still a PNAM, I mentioned which group I was pursuing. I suppose I'm just not good at keeping secrets! ;)

Yup what everyone else said! Until you are pinned ZIP IT!

it ain't over until the fat lady sings...

and I haven't uttered one damn note! :D

Ditto what Jill said.:D

I guess I don't really understand what convoluted processes some of these women are having. I sponsered / mentored an Alum Initiate last spring after the college chapter and she connected, then alums got to know her too, and it was desired by all of us. She received approval 2 weeks after I submitted her paperwork and she was initiated with the college chapter 2 weeks after that.

DB&G, it all varies widely depending on whether or not the local chapter is really interested in doing alumnae initiation. I've heard some pretty arduous stories from PNAMS here. I'm lucky in that my process was similar to what you described, but I have a feeling that maybe it was an exception and not the rule.

Also, some chapters only initiate once a year, so even if you're a match with the alumnae group, if you make that match after the new collegiate members are initiated, you'll have to wait until a new class is initiated before you get your chance.

Actually, we've never had difficulty in initiating alums with my alum chapter---but we've always been open to it. In addition, my GLO makes it possible for the woman to receive approval when submitted from alum chapters, college chapters or even individual alums.

We do have to initiate with the college chapters or at national convention, but even though they might have a waiting period, they could still get approval and know it's coming.

Thank you to those of you who have helped explain the AI process. I wasn't trying to be rude/nosey but, as I know little about AI, it seemed like some of you have been at it for quite a long while. I didn't realize that the process was still on-going...I thought some of you were just being secretive.

I have to agree 100%! with what all the now initated PNM have to say. When i was pursuing AI with Alpha Phi i would not tell a soul( ok a few knew and only a select few.) I mean it was tougher then any coll. rush will ever be. Rush on campus is 3 to 4 days. how do you really get to know someone in those few days whenthere are others you need to know too. AI is being on display until the chapter decides sure were going to/ or were not going to elect to initate this woman. Longer drawn out process. and a lot of down time of waiting. Waiting is by far the wrost feeling ever in a AI prusuit.

I searched out , to be honest with you 3 groups that were on top of my list and A Phi was #1. But it is suicide in letting it out that your looking. ppl talk, things get around. But i knew from the first time i saw Alpha Phi and someone said to me you should check out APhi i knew it was home.

Don't get frustrated with these PNAI's they are protecting a dream they have and not to have anything go wrong with it. They want to know that all looseends are tied up and confirmed before letting it out where there home will be.


Former PNAIM,
Laura

This is the same way in Gamma Phi Beta. Approvals are done anytime the alum chapter does the form on the woman -- the woman's background is essentially listed on the form and the alum sponsor has to write why this person would be a good Gamma Phi. In our alum chapter, the candidate needs to meet the members at one or two events. The alum chapter decides whether to move on and begin the paperwork based on their own criteria -- will she fit in, does she really want to be a member etc...Some of our alum chapters may be more or less open to AI than others because they have been burned -- eg. getting someone AI'd and then they rarely participate. In our chapter, potential AI candidates are NEVER brought to the chapter's attention (or to an event) unless we know we are going to do the paperwork. I do not want to say we are snobby, but we ARE selective. Even my two "GC lil sisters" -- Houstonchica and Cluey --came to meet members of our alum chapter before things got rolling! And neither of them lived closeby although Housonchica was about 2 hours away; Cluey was/is in another state (she did meet the alums where she lives and attended two events but I felt protective/possessive of her since I "found" her via GC! -- she is now working with the alum chapter where she lives). All the women in my alum chapter knew they would be wonderful Gamma Phis!! Two down, one to go! Anyways, after the alum chapter does the form and includes the candidate's background etc, the form is sent on to the collegiate chapter that is doing the initiation -- regardless of when their initiation is -- and the collegiate chapter president signs the form -- and they WILL sign it basically no matter what as long as the alum chapter has "vetted" the candidate. Then the form goes to our international Hqtrs and is approved. Then the "pledge" training materials are sent and training is conducted -- I like to do it in a long session -- it takes several hours -- and then there is a test (open book!) and then the badge orders are filled out and everything is sent in to be processed prior to initiation. The badge is not sent to the AI until after she is initiated.


I agree with double blue and gold that once this process has been undertaken and the GLO's hqtrs has signed off on the PNAM to get trained etc, then she should feel okay about saying who she is going to be initiated with.

I agree that this AI process is more mentally grueling than rush due to its extended time period. Women who pursue AI are generally VERY dedicated to their sorority once they are initiated!

Yay! AIs!!!

Ok I know that this is off topic but I couldn't figure out where else to ask this question and I didn't want to start an entire thread for just one question. But anyway. I was wondering can guys become AI's as well? I've only heard stories on here of girls/women AI'ing and I was just curious if fraternities allowed this process as well. Thanks guys! :)