Men's Rules For Women
 

1. It is only common courtesy that you should leave the seat on the toilet
UP when you are done.

2. If you are cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include
something from each of the four major male food groups:
Meat, Fried, Beer, and Red.

3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.

4. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine
bars throughout the country, not all men are cretins
deserving your contempt.

5. Shopping is not fascinating.

6. When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only
joking.

7. Unless the answer is yes.

8. In which case, can he videotape it?

9. If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.

10. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or
tending the grill.

11. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room
is not funny.

12. Money does not equate love. Not even in Nevada.

13. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie
Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with
roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their
infant when it walks for the first time.

14. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.

15. He heard you the first time.

16. You know, YOU can ask HIM out too... Let's spread the rejection around
a little.

17. If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the
answer to.

18. Of COURSE he wants another beer.

19. The guy doesn't ALWAYS have to sleep on the wet spot.

20. Dogs good. Cats bad.

21. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny.

22. If he has to sit through "Legends of the Fall", you have to sit through
"Showgirls".

23. "Fine." is not an acceptible way to end an argument.

24. Do not question a man's innate navigational abilities by suggesting he
stop for directions.

25. He was not looking at that other girl.

26. Well, okay... maybe a little.

27. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked
at another guy...

28. There is nothing inherently wrong with the word "cunt".

29. He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you
have ever met.

30. And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones.

31. Your (select appropriate item:) butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine.
As a matter of fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.

32. If you want a satisfying sex life, you will NEVER fake an orgasm.

33. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow
with him.

34. Remember: that Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if left in
the shower.

35. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it.

36. Dirty laundry comes in several categories: Looks fine/smells fine,
Looks fine/smells bad, Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to
wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.

37. Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Cindy Crawford is prettier than you.
Just like Brad Pitt/Antonio Banderas/Keanu Reeves is better looking than
him. But since neither one of you is going to be dating any of these
people, love the one you're with.

38. Of course size matters, and boy does he have the grandaddy of them all.

39. His (fill in appropriate selections:) bald spot/beer gut/impossibly
thick glasses/impotency/scabby rash, is cute.

40. Don't hog the covers.

41. Watching football is a major turn-on for you. But please wait until
the halftime show to act upon that...

42. He does not just want to be friends.

43. A successful date always starts with the woman uttering the sentence:
"You know, why don't we just skip the expensive dinner and stay here
having freaky circus sex all night?"

44. Just because this list doesn't have as many entries as yours doesn't
mean it's worse. SO GET OFF MY GOD DAMN BACK!

Good One, Dude :D

Nice :)

F*ckin' A right wel' tol', Bubba! :D

6 or 7 more guys reply to this and the whole male population of gc will have posted. lol:p

For the lack of attention spans that most males have, women only have one rule for males:

1. We're always right. ;) :p

Even if it leads to the end of humanity? lol:p ;)

Re: Men's Rules For Women
 

3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.
I've made my guy do this..it's truely a mark of love...really..

5. Shopping is not fascinating.
It seems to be when you drag US to a stupid autoparts store!!

6. When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking.
Bull! You've tried to hook me up w/my best friend since we started dating!

9. If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.
I did...but I got a good looking nice guy that happens to be a loner..

11. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the rooms not funny.
Yes it is...and yes..you do have to defend my honor..

13. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
So I've learned..

15. He heard you the first time.
No you didn't.

19. The guy doesn't ALWAYS have to sleep on the wet spot.
Your bed..your spot.

21. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny.
But you make such a cute face!!

23. "Fine." is not an acceptible way to end an argument.
Be that way then.

28. There is nothing inherently wrong with the word "cunt".
Yes it is if you've had the fraternity vs. frat phrase drilled in your head.

29. He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met.
Not when I catch you playing with your Transformers..

31. Your (select appropriate item:) butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine.
As a matter of fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.
...and that's why I love you!

33. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow with him.
Yes it is, he needs to know EVERYTHING.

35. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
...and I've got some words of my own.

40. Don't hog the covers.
You have more hair than me, therefore, I get the covers.

42. He does not just want to be friends.
So I learned in about 2 days..

43. A successful date always starts with the woman uttering the sentence:
"You know, why don't we just skip the expensive dinner and stay here
having freaky circus sex all night?"
You've already had that once, you don't need it again.

TKE209Sweethrt, that was great....the rules were good too, guys, but girls just know the right way to work within them :D

1. It is only common courtesy that you should leave the seat on the toilet
UP when you are done.----fine, you put it down when you are finished, i'll place it up when i am finished....

3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.---oh get over your lil man purse phobia and suck it up....am i tryin on cute stuff for someone other than you...don't think so

5. Shopping is not fascinating.---oh, but watching every sport known to man and scratching your junk is qualified as "fascinating"...?

11. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room
is not funny.----uh, yeah it is! ;)

14. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.----NEVER!

15. He heard you the first time.----the question is not if you heard us, it's if you are listening

16. You know, YOU can ask HIM out too... Let's spread the rejection around
a little.----uh hell no! if we are supposed to "know our role"...you are, too!

21. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny.---oh, but really...it kinda is! lol

23. "Fine." is not an acceptible way to end an argument.---<silent treatment>

27. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked
at another guy...---not so much the looking that is a problem, but the after-comments

32. If you want a satisfying sex life, you will NEVER fake an orgasm.----ooooh, but see....if i want a satisfying sex life, you'll just do it right and i won't feel like i have to fake it ;)

33. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow
with him.---wrong again...if i have to go through it, the least you can do is hear about it

35. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it.----LOL. oy, i will never look at my sig line the same way ever again!

40. Don't hog the covers.---don't fart first thing when you wake up in the morning.

41. Watching football is a major turn-on for you. But please wait until
the halftime show to act upon that...---LMAO..

this was funny, just had to respond, though! ;)

You can see my response here: http://forums.greekchat.com/gcforums...threadid=35270

But I agree with all the other lovely ladies on here! Please Please Please at least fart in the opposite direction of my face if you just can't hold it till you get to the bathroom for your morning routine!

Such a good post and nice to see the male population roll out for this one.

OMG that was hillarious, sent a copy to my boyfriend..i know he will get a kick out of it :)

Re: Re: Men's Rules For Women
 

Bwhahahah! This is the most inherantly wrong thing EVER TKE209Sweethrt! You are a bad, bad girl! :)

Know it. Learn it. Live it. :)