Parenting conflicts
 

Hey ladies. I don't really posts that often but I read through everything everyday. I would just like a little feedback on this situation. I was driving my daughter's father to drop off his rental car this morning. As soon as get got into my car he changed the radio station to WBLS (they play R&B and Hip Hop). I was listening to Charles Stanley (an evangelist who is part of my morning line up) and was annoyed that he turned the station. So I compromised and put on a jazz station. I then told him that I don't want our daughter to listen to that station because she doesn't need to hear that type of music. (She is 4 yrs old) Then I told him that I heard her singing "Say my name, say my name, you been actin' shady, ain't calllin' me baby" and I don't want her going around singing those types of songs. He proceeded to argue with me saying that I am depriving her of her culture (because I only let her listen to certain R&B songs, Disney, jazz and gospel). He also claimed that she is only going to hear it in the street anyway. He doesn't seem to understand that I want to preserve her innocence as long as possible. I have no problem with her listening to songs about love just as long as it is not about making love or anything else with sexual messages. I know I am right but I have been running this conversation in my head all day. I just want to know what you ladies had to say about this.

Me', girlfiend I am feeling you!! I listened to a station here that plays a lot of rap before I had my daughter but after she was born I started listening to a 'hits and oldies' station. Not having listened to the rap station for almost 4 years now, I was surprised by my 3 year old singing "y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here". For a long time I just thought she was repeating something her teacher said at the daycare, but it wasn't what the teacher said but what she was playing for the kids to dance to. She was playing the station I stopped listening to. I think there were some complaints because my child is now telling me that her teacher's radio doesn't work, she needs batteries. I searched for a way to tell the teacher myself that I didn't want my child to listen to that station because I didn't want to seem pushy or try to dictate what the other kids heard. I am just glad that the Lord intervened.

Me', I agree with you about wanting to preserve childhood for as long as possible. There are so many issues kids have to deal with so much earlier than we did, if they can just be kids for a while and not have to worry about the things that they will have all of adulthood to worry about.

Bottom line, I don't think you were wrong! I hope your child's father will not make this an issue and repect your wishes.

I don't have children, but I agree with you both 100 percent! Me By Nature, stand your ground and be firm. Children today are growing up way too fast and need to enjoy being children. I hope your daughter's father will one day understand your point of view and see that you are only acting in your daughter's best interest.

I am new to this website, but I look into everyone's forum. I am currently doing my internship at an elementary school and I was just amazed at the kind of songs that the students (mostly girls) were singing. The way that I would catch them dancing made my mouth fall to the floor. I corrected their behavior and I told them that they were acting unlady like. They would reply by saying, "We were just popping." I do not have any children, but I will asure that mine will not be listening to any type of music they want to.
I commend you for standing your ground and trying to do the right thing for your daughter. I am glad that you and your husband have that type of communication even if you do not agree all the time.

Hello ladies,
I agree with everyone's comments on this matter. I don't have any children either. I did have a similar experience recently. About two weeks ago I was in Tampa getting my hair braided. The people who braid my hair are Senegalese and they usually listen to their native music. On this particular day a teenage friend came by and popped in a tape with the most vulgar music I had ever heard. This was in the presence of 3 small children who were still mastering the English language. I did not know whether it was my place to intervene and ask the young man to turn the music off. So, I in a dissaproving tone asked the lady braiding my hair if their native music has curse words in it? She said "yes". The young man caught my drift and turned off the music immediately. I was upset that these ladies would allow their children to listen to these lyrics at the age when they are devoloping their linguistics. What do they imagine their first words will be?

[This message has been edited by mizzkes (edited May 21, 2000).]

I have children and I also do not like them to listen to everything that plays on the R&B & rap scene. I do know, however, that the older they get, the more they will probably hear on their own, so I try to keep abreast of what's going on out there so that I can discuss what these songs mean with them.

------------------
>>>"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised... Proverbs 31:29-30

Just to add my two cents....


At age 4, your precious baby is too young to be singing anything but the "This Little Light of Mine", and "The Barney Song".

Girl I would fall out if I heard a 4 year old singing, "Back that thing up". I would just die. Keep her as pure and as precious for as long as you can.

By the way I really enjoy listening to Charles Stanley.

Deja

------------------
TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN....MUCH IS EXPECTED.

Since we are on the subject I want to say yes, I agree children are growing up toooo quickly, my nephew is one of them and I can't understand why my brother thinks he is so innocent. Anyway, about gospel stations. I live in New York, and I drive many miles to work and I do get tires of WBLS (107.5) and Hot 97 (97.1) so I sometimes switch to 98.7 (more oldies) but can someone please tell me any good gospel stations. Not only gospel, I have been trying to find a station that speaks the word and I seriously cannot find any. Sorors and friends if you know of any such stations please post it here or e-mail me. I would appreciate it!
Thanks

I agree with everyone 110%. So many young children are walking around here singing every rap, r&b song to the letter and don't know their abc's and can't add. It is shameful. Me by Nature, stay strong in your beliefs girl. Definitely pray on it so that when the confrontation comes up again God can intercede and give you the words to say. Its a shame that your child's father believes that it is selling out to listen to jazz or gospel? Girl, don't trip http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif because he is. I am not a parent but I do feel that alot of parents are allowing some of the things that they were deprived of dictate how they raise their children. I am not saying that your child's father falls into that category but it might be something to think about. Maybe as a child he was 'forced' to listen to certain types of music and had to sneak to listen to what is friends listened to. Do you see where I am going with this? Don't worry, just talk with him, trust your instincts and you will be fine.