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moe.ron 05-13-2003 05:59 AM

I'm reading this and I'm really confused
 
"Scanner Dan" sorority celeb

by Michelle Orris, City Editor
May 08, 2003

"Scanner Dan" Mathison is a celebrity on the University of Wisconsin campus, but his personal life is not as well known as his scanning capabilities.
Mathison said his nickname "was not meant to be a joke," although he currently owns two scanners. He said a criminal and former UW student gave him the nickname back in the 1980s after Mathison heard the police alert on his scanner and then showed up to watch police pull the man over.

"I was right there because I had been listening, so he called me 'Scanner Dan,'" Mathison said.

A 44-year-old sorority member, Mathison said he spends every single day at the Union or on State Street because he is a "lazy damn bum."

"I just watch the people walk around," Mathison said. Students said Mathison seems to memorize the face and name of everyone he meets, calling out to people as they pass by.

"I love you," Mathison yelled to UW senior Jennifer Hayman, one of the many sorority sisters he calls his wife.

Hayman said Mathison remembered her name after someone mentioned it only once in his presence, and other students corroborated that Mathison never forgets a name.

"He remembers my name from someone yelling it across the street," UW senior Andy Abeles said.

Mathison said he is an honorary member of every sorority on campus, a result of meeting the girls on State Street. He said Delta Gamma was the first to induct him into their sorority in 1980. Today, one sorority pays for the maid service in his Greenway Cross apartment on Madison's East side and another provides him with a student union membership.

"All the fraternity guys are jealous of me because I've got girls and they don't," Mathison said.

Mathison said he loves college students, and he especially gets a kick out of them during exam week.

"They're kinda goofy sometimes; exam week is hilarious," Mathison said. "It's a hair-pulling contest. They get so darn stressed out, it's funny to watch."

In contrast, Mathison's lifestyle is as relaxed a life as could be. On a typical day, he said he watches TV -- preferably World War II movies -- before catching two buses to reach State Street and the Union.

"I get my scanner ready, I get my pipe tobacco and I come down here. Then I sit around and do nothing," Mathison said. Laughing and calling himself a bum, Mathison said he rarely showers, stinks, and has a nasty sunburn and rotten teeth.

"But that doesn't bother me," he said.

However, Mathison said he has held jobs in the past as a dishwasher, a janitor and a Hilldale deli employee.

In addition to World War II movies, Mathison said he enjoys Badger football, the Packers, the Brewers and the stand-up comedy of George Carlin.

Seniors at the Union said they have gotten attached to Mathison.

"I'm gonna miss seeing him around next year," Hayman said.

Link to the Story

MoonStar17 05-13-2003 08:30 AM

:confused:

All i can say is HUH?!?!?

sugar and spice 05-13-2003 09:42 AM

As someone who goes to the University of Wisconsin . . . I was just as confused as you were when I read this article.

I have no idea who this guy is, and I wouldn't be surprised if half the article was made up.

Beryana 05-13-2003 09:53 AM

I would have thought this article was in The Onion - though reading some of the comments attached to the article they say the Badger Herald is a tabloid. . . . I also wouldn't think that a respectable sorority would induct (not initiate) anyone just for remembering all their names. . . .

Sarah

33girl 05-13-2003 10:07 AM

I believe this fellow is parallel to "Sombrero Man" at Pitt. In other words, it's a satire.

DeltAlum 05-13-2003 10:41 AM

Company I used to work for ran the facilities in an old theatre in which TV shows are done in Hollywood. There's a guy we used to call "Bucket Man" who shows up in front of the theatre and just sits on a bucket all day. Doesn't say a word. Just sits there.

Ah, the glamour of Hollywood.

Munchkin03 05-13-2003 11:37 AM

I feel like there's always a sketchy man who likes to hang out around Fraternity/Sorority Row...usually an older alum who wants to continue his glory days or whatever. Yuck. :rolleyes:

GeekyPenguin 05-13-2003 04:46 PM

If you follow the link and read the comments at the bottom, it becomes somewhat clear that it's a satire - he is actually homeless, apparently.

MysticCat 05-14-2003 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
If you follow the link and read the comments at the bottom, it becomes somewhat clear that it's a satire - he is actually homeless, apparently.
I agree, GeekyPenguin, that it appears he is homeless and is apparently what we here in the South would call a "character." Also sounds like the statements about sorority "induction" are statements of how he sees the world, not statements of actual facts. But I'm missing what about it is a satire.

LuaBlanca 05-14-2003 09:14 AM

But 44 years old? It would be alot more humorous if he was 84 or something.....44 is a bit odd......

Glitter650 05-16-2003 11:50 PM

I thought it was an onion article as well... kinda weird... Ne way... == shaking head==

KappaKittyCat 05-19-2003 11:53 PM

As a Madisonian, I can tell you that nobody should take the Badger Herald seriously. Yes, the guy is homeless, and he has his nickname (I always thought) because he stands on State Street and "scans" the crowds from behind his sunglasses.


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