Mixed Race Adoptions
 

I have been meaning to ask this, but the article about the white family killing their Black adopted daughter really sparked my attention.

Would you adopt a child of another race or ethnicity? Most specifically as a Black person, would you adopt a white child? As a white person, would you adopt a Black child?

I know that Carnation (GC moderator) has adopted a lot of kids of various ethnicities, so she might have valuable insight for us.

Honestly, CT4, now that I am older, I would adopt a child of any race. I think as I have gotten older, my "motherly hormones" have gotten the best of me. :)

This wasn't always my opinion, however. I used to firmly believe that black kids should be with black parents, etc. until I met my current boyfriend who was adopted. Although he was adopted by black parents who were wonderful to him,, some of the stories he has told me about growing up in the foster care system are heartbreaking, especially for black males. (Which reminds me....for those who haven't seen it, please check out The Antwoine Fisher Story ). I wouldn't wish a childhood of low self esteem, self-worth, abuse, and neglect on anyone. I know there are some good foster parents out there that do the right thing, but unfortunately I believe they are small in number. :(

Children deserve to grow up in an open loving environment.

When our adopted children came through our door, we just didn't see them as being various colors, we saw them as OURS. There are too many colors of people in this house to remind ourselves continually--"Okay, that one's brown, that one's browner,etc."

At first, we tried to do things corresponding to each child's culture but that went over like a lead balloon, especially now that they're teenagers. They just want to be teenagers and be with their friends...they do NOT want to attend cultural festivals, celebrate other holidays, etc. So much for our years of preparation!

The birthmothers of all our children knew that they would be coming to a mixed-race home. It didn't faze them at all, they only wanted a loving home for their children. The children have thrived, excelled in school, had zillions of friends of all races, and been adored by us. Isn't that what it's all about?

Carnation, if you don't mind me asking, what are the races/ethnicities of your children? How many did you adopt altogether? What lead you and your husband to become adoptive parents?

I admire GOOD adoptive parents, because I know that being a parent is not easy, but to adopt a child adds possible extra challenges.

I think I might adopt later at some point. I used to work with a soror who was a foster mom (single parent) and her last set of kids were with her for 2 1/2 years. Good kids but a lot of baggage. They have now been placed with an adoptive family.

Our 5 children who are adopted are Japanese (2), Chinese/Filipino/Hispanic, Vietnamese/Chinese, and Hispanic. Our family has adopted extensively--Mr. C's sister has a Chilean daughter and many, many of our cousins have adopted kids too (black/white, Hispanic, Asian). I've planned to adopt since childhood and when I got married, Mr. C was like, oh what the heck, sounds interesting!

Our challenge is not so much parenting a multiracial family but rather parenting so many kids. It takes a bunch of work to stay on top of everyone's needs, desires, schedules, etc. Yet we make the kids our priority and that seems to work out; we don't have much of a social life outside of events related to the kids but we don't really care. We married relatively late so we feel like, "Been there, done that," with regards to partying and so forth.

The hardest thing for me is parenting boys. Our first 6 were girls and I can't believe the dumb butt stuff that boys do.:rolleyes:

wow Carnation, I commend you and Mr. C :) on your strength and devotion. I don't know how I feel about having children, let alone, adopting. I can imagine it being very trying.
It's something I haven't experienced, either directly or indirectly so your story is very amazing to me.

There were 5 of us kids (2 boys and 3 girls) too and I to this day do not know how on earth my parents did it.! An afternoon with my nephew wears me out!

Edited cause I have to learn not to say so much but

Would I? YES!! If someone really needed a home and I was able, I'd do it. Recently, I had to open my heart to a white 16 yr. old and I couldn't help but look at her as a person rather than a color.