Protocol over all else?
 

My friend is a member of an BGLO and at the recent Jones Beach Greek Fest she ran into a member of her "brother" organization. She greeted him with a huge hug and walked away. Afterward I found out that she is not fond of this guy at all (to put it mildly)...at which point I asked her why would she hug someone she doesn't like. She responded with one word: Protocol. That word rang a bell because I was once told (by a BGLO member), that it was protocol to greet members of your brother/sister organization before GDIs. Is there any truth to this? I mean what if there's a scenario where a member of ABC fraternity walks into a room and spots his girlfriend and maybe a few cousins to the left of him and his sorors to the right? Is he to go to his sorors first because of protocol? If there's no truth to this whatsoever, please let me know.

If she is not fond of him in the least, why didn't she just shake his hand, and say "Hello, nice to see you" (or some other social nicety), rather than hug him?

That's exactly what I asked her and she stated that it was protocol to greet her "brothers" by hugging them, it's the way they show love to each other no matter who the particular "brother"is.

I doubt that the phrase, "hug someone you don't like because they are a frat or soror" is written in anyone's constitution, http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif , but yes it is a form of 'protocol'. It's the same reason you hug a frat or soror when you see them in the grocery store and you've never seen the person before in your life. It's because you share a common bond. And if she has a problem with him, she's just keeping their problem 'in house', so to speak.

ZetaAce

PS-SexyMocha-Why the quotes around brother? http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif

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Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.
1-UL-97

I agree with Zeta Ace that it is NOT written constitutionally to "hug" frat and Sorors but it is definitely protocol. Some members oblige and I've seen others that don't. It all depends on the person. I have friends in other frats that ask why I hug my frat when I see them... I feel like I don't have to explain...it "seems" obvious.

I have seen Sorors who shook hands with Bruhs because they may have not wanted to "deal" with some of the other gestures that (sometimes) comes along with a hug, but that is their prerogative.

Additionally, I have seen women "change" ways after say getting into a serious relationship/getting married where they aren't hugging all up on the Bruhs anymore. Some men (particularly GDIs) find it disrespectful to hug any man, especially really close not to mention 5 or 10 men at any given function.

To answer gloriajean's question, some people would describe a person who merely shook hands with frat NOT TO MENTION Sorors as being...how do you say...CAT!!!

Those who know what that means, you know what that means...those who don't...

Just my $19.13.

PEACE ALL!!!

LOL! Too Funny!

ZetaAce

The quotes are around the word brother because,as I understand, the only frat and sorority in the Divine Nine that are actually brothers and sisters (constitutionally) are Zeta Phi Beta sorority and Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity. I read this somewhere on the internet...I could very well be wrong, Please correct me if I am. I didn't know if it was appropriate for me to just say brother without the quotes....Aw hell, I'm just trying to be politically correct on this forum. I try to put myself in check before someone else does :-)

Yes, what you read about Zeta Phi Beta Sigma is true, but both AKA & APhiA and DST & Omega Psi Phi have history with each other and consider each other to be frat and sorors (in 98% of all areas). Out west, KAPsi and SGRho also share 'Indiana Love' http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

ZetaAce

Thanks for the enlightenment!

Sexy Mocha,

That is tooooooo funny! You had to go there... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

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Sincerity, Loyalty, Unity
Sigma Lambda Upsilon: Hasta La Muerte!

It troubles me that "a girl who doesn't want to hug someone considered a CAT".

In truth, I think women would be wise to listen to their instincts, rather than dismiss them and compromise their boundaries. There certainly are enough young ladies out there who don't have a sound concept of boundaries. Sororities educate their members on alcoholism, eating disorders and acquaintance rape...what about teaching women about respecting their own boundaries and listening to their instincts?

I am somewhat troubled that a woman would feel obligated to hug a complete stranger, even if he was from a "brother" fraternity.

And even then, the "relationships of the "non-constitutionallly bonded" is different regionally. My aka friend tells feels close to the omegas...20 pearls. Where as my alpha buddy will staunchly state he has NO sorors....and to flip it again the crimson and cream (frat and sorority) will team up too on occasion. Go figure...regional differences. At the end of the day...its all love.

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Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated...Every Finer Woman's Dream!

[This message has been edited by Finer Woman10-A-91 (edited July 14, 2000).]

Also Finer Woman 10-A-91:

In some areas the Alphas and Deltas "team up" on the whole "pyramid" concept as I[ve seen Akas and Kappas get together on the whole "pretty" issue. That's a trip how it's different on different coasts and regions. It is all love in the end, though http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Gloriajean:

No one asks for people to not honor boundaries. Additionally, people do what they want. I stated that before. If a woman TRULY is uncomfortable, she may do what she pleases. Usually I won't call her CAT (not a CAT). I will support her deisre to have boundaries. If a Soror shakes the hands of another that is CAT in my perception...point blank. It is protocol. I have actually seen Sorors tell neos that they have a choice in the matter and not to feel OBLIGATED to hug frat if they don't deem it appropriate or necessary. If frat calls you cat then so what.

As someone else put it, we are NOT constitutionally bound, but there is a history. Honor it or don't...the choice is the woman's.

[This message has been edited by DELTABRAT (edited July 14, 2000).]

Interesting!! You learn something new everyday!

ZetaAce

I even feel that, too, sometimes...and my sorority doesn't have an official "brother" fraternity...it just depends on the campus, I guess. For example, at my school, our older girls and officers have parties, events, etc. with two frats I (along with my pledge class) ABSOLUTELY HATE! But, on our campus, we have this "loyalty" to them, so these guys I would normally have nothing to say to, I feel the need to at least say hi or smile.

Oh, yeah...and I had heard all about the "Indiana Love" between SGRho and KAPsi...which is pretty cool to me. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Were they founded at the same school?