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Quote:

Originally posted by damasa
So lost.....

The Air Force dining out has its own little set of rituals and traditions. Generally, the commander of the unit is traditionally designated the President of the mess (and addressed as 'Mr. President'), while the most junior officer is the vice-president of the mess, and addressed as 'Mr. Vice'.

A full explanation about the Air Force dining out can be obtained at http://www.airforcewives.com/protocol/ch20.html .

"Mr. Vice" (for a female officer, "Madam Vice") is the person in the mess designated to enforce the rules of the mess:

Rules of the Mess

The following is a list of rules under which the mess will be conducted. They are designed to conform to tradition and promote levity. Violators of these rules are subject to the wrath and mischievousness of Mister/Madam Vice. All assigned penalties will be carried out before the membership.

Thou shalt arrive within 10 minutes of the appointed hour.
Thou shalt make every effort to meet all guests.
Thou shalt move to the mess when thee hears the chimes and remain standing until seated by the President.
Thou shalt not bring cocktails or lighted smoking material into the mess.
Thou shalt smoke only when the smoking lamp is lit.
Thou shalt not leave the mess whilst convened. Military protocol overrides all calls of nature.
Thou shalt participate in all toasts unless thyself or thy group is honored with a toast.
Thou shalt ensure that thy glass is always charged when toasting.
Thou shalt keep toasts and comments within the limits of good taste and mutual respect. Degrading or insulting remarks will be frowned upon by the membership. However, good natured needling is ENCOURAGED.
Thou shalt not murder the Queen's English.
Thou shalt not open the hangar doors (talk about work).
Thou shalt always use the proper toasting procedure.
Thou shalt fall into disrepute with thy peers if the pleats of thy cummerbund are not properly faced. (Pleats up for gentlemen, pleats down for ladies wearing mess dress uniform.)
Thou shalt also be painfully regarded if thy clip-on bow tie rides at an obvious list. Thou shalt be forgiven; however, it thee also ride at a comparable list.
Thou shalt consume thy meal in a manner becoming gentlepersons.
Thou shalt not laugh at ridiculously funny comments unless the President first shows approval by laughing.
Thou shalt express thy approval by tapping thy spoon on the table. Clapping of thy hands will not be tolerated.
Thou shalt not question the decisions of the President.
When the mess adjourns, thou shalt rise and wait for the President and head table guests to leave.
Thou shalt enjoy thyself to thy fullest.

And now for a trip to the "Grog Bowl..." To the mess! :D

The Grog Bowl

The grog bowl is an "accessory" traditional to a dinings-in, although it is not required. However, without a "grog bowl," some other means of punishment for infractions should be considered.

The contents of the grog bowl are best left to the imagination of the planning committee. The contents should be non-alcoholic as to not dampen the spirits and participation of those individuals who, for religious or personal reasons, do not consume alcoholic beverages. It is permissible to have two grog bowls, one alcoholic and one non-alcoholic.

Some organizations have successfully used a grog mixing ceremony where the contents of the grog are combined along with a humorous narrative by Mister/Madam Vice.

Certain members of the mess seem to be frequent violators, such as Mister/Madam Vice. It is not uncommon for the President and the Guest Speaker to be charged with at least on violation. If the President must leave his/her position at the head table, he/she must appoint another individual to assume his/her position.

If you're the Arrangement Officer or Mister/Madam Vice, it's a good idea to make sure you fully brief the President on the rules beforehand (refresh his memory) and work between you the "rules of engagement" to keep this portion of the program from getting out of hand.

Infractions warranting a trip to the grog bowl may be noted at any time by the President, Vice President, or any member of the mess. Members bring infractions to the attention of the President by raising a point of order. If the validity of the charge is questioned, members vote by tapping their spoons on the table.

When the President directs a violator to the grog bowl, the individual proceeds to the bowl promptly. The bowl is usually located on Mister/Madam Vice's table. Upon arriving at the "grog bowl," the violator does the following:

Does an about face and salutes the President.
Turns to the bowl and fills the cup.
Does another about face and toasts the mess.
Drains the contents of the cup without removing it from the lips, then places it inverted on his/her head signifying it is empty.
Replaces the cup, again salutes the President, and returns to his/her seat. With the exception of the toast, "To the Mess," the violator is not permitted to speak during this process.

At various points during the evening, a member may be sent to the grog bowl as punishment for violating the rules of the mess. The formal rules are stated in the next section; however, here are some examples of common violations of protocol warranting a trip to the grog bowl:

Common Violations of Protocol Warranting a Trip to the Grog Bowl

Arriving late at the cocktail lounge.
Carrying drinks into the dining room.
Smoking in the dining room before the smoking lamp is lit.
Wearing the cummerbund inverted.
Wearing an ill-fitting or discolored mess jacket.
Wearing clip-on bow tie at an obvious angle.
Wearing non-issue suspenders.
Toasting with an uncharged glass.
Improper toasting procedure.
Starting a course before the President.
Applauding a particularly witty, sarcastic, or succinct toast (unless following the example of the President).
Loud and obtrusive remarks in a foreign language or in English.
Discussing business, referred to as "opening the hanger doors."
Leaving the dining area without permission from the President.
Talking while another person has the floor.
Caviling or quibbling.
Haggling over date of rank.
Using foul language.