Lil Sis crossed the line
 

I recently went on a leave of absence from a national service sorority that I belong to. I went on leave for a number of reasons, but one of the main ones was that my sisters began having a negative attitude towards my lil sis(bad comments about her weight in front of her, ect.). She was also suppose to taking a leave so that things could cool off then about a month ago I found out that she never took a leave. I kept wondering why that she never called or anything this semester. She had started running around with my BF's Big Bro's girlfriend. (Hope you can follow that) And she told her that she just couldn't wait until my BF of five years broke up with me so she could have him. I am in complete disbelief. I can't believe that she would actually do that to me! I've been so nice to her. Right now I can't wait to get ahold of that girl! Can anyone tell me a rational way to handle this before I just choke this girl!

I know that there is probably a rational way, but until I pick my lower jaw up off the ground I'd probably have the same reaction you are having! :eek:

for lack of better (appropriate ;)) words, I have to say ... HOW RUDE!!

The rational way to handle it would be to bring it up to your GLO's version of Standards and let them handle it internally. Of course, since you're inactive right now, that may not be an option. You may wish to talk with her (once you've calmed down, of course!) and let her know what you heard and how it hurt you, especially as she's your little. I'm sure it won't be as easy as that, though. I'm sorry.

Then, there's the irrational but honest reaction of ripping her hair out of her head. No, I am not and would never condone such an action but if I knew that my sister (let alone my big or little) was going after my long-term boyfriend...

I've got absolutely no tolerance for this. It's one thing to go after someone post-breakup, after an acceptable time or talking directly with the sister. It's another to go after someone's boyfriend, or the guy you know your sister has a crush on. I had the unfortunate situation of watching my big blatantly go after the guy I was in love with (we both lost, so to say, because it ruined our relationship and my respect for her.)

You just don't go after your sister's guy (or the guy your sister is interested in!) You don't, period, end of story.

Christin

Not necessarily a rational way to handle it but, if it were me, I would tell your BF and have him tell her that he would never, ever be interested in her.

Probably the best suggestion I've heard in this therad. The others would just intensify the drama -- this one kind of nips the problem in the bud so to speak.

If you and your boyfriend have been together for 5 years, unless you two have trust issues you shouldn't worry. You have kept his interest for that whole time, what makes you think anything would happen now? Talk to "higher powers" in the sorority and discuss the issue, maybe she would be better off with a different big.

I agree with all of these. If you've been with him for five years you should have enough trust in the relationship to know that he wouldn't do that. But, I would still talk to him and let him know what's going on, b/c you never know, she could start playing dirty.

It's not an issue with her boyfriend, it's an issue with a scheming sister. It doesn't sound as if she's concerned about the state of her relationship.

Okay, I'll play devil's advocate. Are you totally sure that she did say that and not something the other girlfriend made up?

On another note, your little sister wanting your boyfriend isn't an issue to take to Standards Board. While yes, we may look at her conduct as "unbecoming", it doesn't affect the workings of the entire sorority. I think this is an issue that you need to deal with one on one, and if you have to kick her butt, do so ;)

OK. I'm absolutely without a doubt sure that she said this so that part is out the way, and my first step was to tell my BF. His reaction was a good laugh. It seems that for a while she was trying to hang out at the fraternity house during parties and just stare at him. He said if she started walking toward him he'd walk away. He didn't really have a clue what she wanted he said something just wasn't right about the whole situation.
As for what I'm going to do: First I'm going to contact the Pres. and ask her that my lil be assigned a new big. Then I'm going to call her and tell her I what I know and what I think about her actions(calmly, like an adult). After that I'll definitely have nothing more to say to her.

Forgive me for saying this, but I hope not. Like it or not, she is your sister, by bond if not by blood. I hope that you'll both be able to move on and repair the damage, or at least try to, even though things may not be the same as before. Without at least an attempt at this, it seems like sisterhood is just being paid lip service to, not lived.

Just my $0.02, which may not be worth that much. Good luck!

that is jsut wrong, she should not have done that to you, just out of respect, it makes it even worst that your are big/little.

OPAGal, do you have an update for us?