You Know You Are Addicted to the Internet when . . .
 

You kiss your girlfriend's home page.

Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.

All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster \par connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.

And even your night dreams are in HTML.

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au

Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.

You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.

You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

All of your friends have an @ in their names.

When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.

Your dog has its own home page.

You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.

You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 2.01 or higher."

You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off.

The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.

You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.

Here's Some More
 

You know you have been on the computer too long when....When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.

When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".

When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.

When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the "else" clause.

You try to sleep, and think sleep(8 * 3600); /* sleep for 8 hours /

When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get to the next page.

When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialling an IP number...

When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want.

When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.

When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom window.

When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.

When you look for a trash can icon for throwing garbage.

You Might be Addicted to AOL if...
 

Tech Support calls "You" for help.

Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL.

You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.

You keep begging your friends to get an account "so we can hang out."

Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome.

You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your computer.

you've ever gotten onto an airplane just to meet some folks face to face.

you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's.

You have ever joined "Si habla Espanol" (Spanish chat room) "just to work on my Spanish."

you've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone."

you go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail message letting everyone know you're going to be away.

you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it (oops thats me twice!).

you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences.

you have met over 100 AOLers.

you begin to say heh heh heh instead of laughing.

when someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"

you find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep.

you turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are online again.

you know more about your AOL friends' daily routines than you do your own spouse's.

you find yourself lying to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook

you have an identity crisis if someone else is using an s/n close to your own (THIS HAPPENED TO ME . . . some jerk on AOL got mad that my AOL name was similar to his. I had to block that clucka!!)

you would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night online).

you change s/n's so much that you have to get your profile to see who you are (identity crisis here).

you're broke, your modem burns out and you go out onto the streets to sell your body to get a new one.

you open your home to 15 strangers for a week merely because they have computers and cool s/n's.

your kids are standing at your side saying "mommy, please come cook dinner" and you would rather type another "LOL"

you marry your cyberboyfriend/cybergirlfriend and you both sit at your own computers and chat to each other every night from across the room.

you type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time.

you won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.

your dog leaves you.

you have to ask what year it is.

you are doing things more and more that you swore you would never, ever do when you first found chat.

you write a letter like this..."dear tom, hiyas! how r u doin well i gotta go bbl!"

you name your pets after people with whom you talk online.

you smile sideways. :-)

you sign on and immediately get 10 messages from people who have you on their buddy lists (::cringe::).

you have a map on the wall with red thumbtacks to mark where people you have met are.

you look at an annoying person off-line and wish you had your ignore button handy.

you bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer.

your significant other kisses your neck while you are chatting and you think "uh oh, cybersex pervo."

you have withdrawal symptoms if you are away from the puter for more than a few hours.

you use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one... hehehe).

you take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling.

your buddy list has over 100 people on it.

you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get online before you have your first cup of coffee.

you have to inject No-Doz into your butt to keep it awake.

you have your computer set up so that it goes directly into AOL's welcome screen.

you wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from work.

you don't know where the time has gone.

you end sentences with three (or more) periods while writing letters in pen/pencil.

your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had.

you get up at 2 am to go the bathroom but go turn on your computer instead.

you spell things out loud instead of actually saying the word.

you don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo.

when you enter a room and 23 people greet you with {{{Hugs}}} or ***Kisses***

you stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme

your voicemail/answering machine message is "BRB, leave your s/n and I will TTYL."

you type faster than you think.

you got your psychiatrist addicted to AOL, too, and are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office.

you want to be buried with your computer when it dies...or vice versa

you actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted.

you can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your tv screen at the end of a movie.

people say, if it weren't for your super reflexes in your eyes and fingers, you would have long been classified as a vegetable.

you dream in text.

being called a newbie is a *MAJOR* insult.

there is absolutely no interesting chat room and you are really bored....yet you don't want to leave in case you miss something.
you double click your tv remote.

you can now type at more than 70 wpm.

you think about starting a 12-step recovery group for AOL junkies.

you are on the phone for a minute and need to do something else you say "BRB" or "BBL"

you check your e-mail and forget you have real mail aka snail mail

you go into withdrawals during dinner

you spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room

you stop speaking in full sentences

you have gone into an unstaffed tech support room and ended up "giving" tech support to other AOLers

you have to be pried from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life

your last sexual experience was really just a "textual" experience

you set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to "check your mail" and while you were there you "just wanted to see who's on"

you meet people from AOL in public and have no idea what their real name is, so you call them by their s/n.


BTW, IMHO this also applies to CompuServe, Prodigy, GNN, Delphi, Microsoft Net, ATT's Worldnet and, most of all, the World Wide Web. (That's just in case you thought only AOL had addicts.)

LOL this was funny.

Is there anyone out there that has actually dreamt in text? Or was tempted to say Laugh out loud in response to someone?

You Know You Are Addicted to the Internet when . . .
 

You post lists about being addicted to the Internet in three consecutive posts. ;)

A friend of mine used to say laugh out loud ALL THE TIME. It was so sad :(

Re: You Might be Addicted to AOL if...
 

HAHA...I've so done that a number of times...hahahahahahahaha...ah the Alcoholic in me....

I do that too.



--Whoa...all these posts make me realize that I am OFFICIALLY a LOSER!!! Whoa do I need to get a life.....

Who doesn't....only I actually know probably 160ish of them

your whole day is ruined cause of what someone said online:rolleyes:

Re: You Know You Are Addicted to the Internet when . . .
 

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

No....not yet. That would be scary.

However, because of the picture threads I know what the majority of the regulars look like...for some ODD reason I dreamed that CLUEY had me over for dinner. :eek:

Ok I am oficially an AOL junkie lol its so funny cause I do go into like chatrooms and have like everyone give me hugs and yes I have said drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone lol. Im sure Ive done others too lol whoopsie guess Nichole needs to get a life now lol


Nichole

You use "BTW" when talking to your roommate in person...:rolleyes:
*hijack* Buttonz's life has been found in the property of AEPi *end hijack*