Pre- Booty Call Contract
 

Ok people, print this out and have it handy to be signed BEFORE you get down. (No, I didn't write this.)

PRE-BOOTY CALL CONTRACT

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND
PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we
need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks
before the events of the evening.

3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk
about.

4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.

5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading
with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't
ask.

6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are
called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town,
then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.

7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's
really none of your damn business.

10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we
are not friends, just fuck buddies.

11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK -
don't be offended.

12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving
anything behind when you leave.

13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so
get your ass up, get dressed, and go the fuck home.

14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it
- I don't care.

15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response
will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."

17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the
reason is less eye contact the better.

18. NO condoms, NO fucking. Carry your ass home.

19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling
back looking for your ass.

21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who's paying....you pay this time, I pay next.

22. Don't bring any of your friends with you, unless they're gonna join the party.

* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the
holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts
to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it
will automatically become null and void and you will
then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted
from phone memory and email list.
In otherwords, you will be BLOCKED from all
communications until your silly ass understands the
rules.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Participating Party
Signature____

lol, I saved it to my PC. So I will be prepared for the future. You can never be too prepared

JK, this was way too funnay!!

watch out, some of them oversensitive guys probably'll get mad at this and get all huffy.

LOL I kinda thought this could be from a guy or girl's point of view.

Both sexes enjoy the occasional booty call., you know.

She's HINTING GUYS - GO GET HER! hahaha

Don't start any fights though....redheaded and stepchild come to mind...lol

AHHHHHHH the masses are coming.........dude if I was hinting I woulda posted that w/all the other horny bastards in the Crush thread.

Not understanding the don't start any fights thing........i know there'll be a beating, but why?

GASP! I am going to assume that is present company EXCLUDED! lol

Oh yeah, b/c that thread is totally G rated :rolleyes:
LOL I was just joking, just didn't want a bunch of PM's that were like, "DAYUMMMM baby! I got a phat ride, and I'm like the hottest guy you'll ever meet on the internet..."

who's horny, she's just conducting an interview.

Ok, sorry,

PSA- IT WAS A JOKE, DO NOT PM HER, SHE DOES NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU....

Again, redhead and stepchild come to mind....

Yes, that means if any craziness starts up and ppl start fighting for WHATEVER reaseon, I will start throwing out whoopins on ppl like they were a redheaded stepchild....

Of course I'm joking about that too, but dayum, you ppl are crazy the last few days......it's kinda like "pimp juice" has taken over GC.....

Start using my phrases now damnit! lol

DAYUMM, baby. you know i roll in a nice ride, and you know i'm just an internet badass....a 6'5 250 linebacker with a harvard degree and a 2 foot joint....with 1% bodyfat and the CEO of Firestone tire company.. :D :D :D :D :D

No I know, I completely overlooked the thorough examination being conducted for prospective employees.

Um, it's uh, the REST of you....uh....y'all need to settle down!

LOL!!! I love it!!

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
Someone said "2 foot joint"
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:


Thanks Damasa, for all your help;)

DAYUMM, baby. you know i roll in a nice ride, and you know i'm just an internet badass....a 6'5 250 linebacker with a harvard degree and a 2 foot joint....with 1% bodyfat and the CEO of Firestone tire company..

That's not what you said when I took this pic of you last week....
http://uglypeople.com/uglymen/sectio...-men-00302.jpg