A hypothetical
 

Just curious for everyone's opinions. I got an email from a friend of mine. She is in a dilemma.

She wants to join a particular greek org. She did all kinds of research and choose this particular one because of its naitonal standing and influence and whatnot.

However, at her particular campus, the sorority has a REALLY BAD reputation. Say what you want about loyalty and really wanting and loving this particular org, she has to live at that campus for the next 3 years and will have to deal with the stigma of that group.

If she really likes this organization on a national basis but fears the reputation of the local chapter, it is a dilemma. However, if she is dedicated to making a difference and to making her commitment lifelong, she should join the local chapter and work to change it's campus image. It won't be easy and it might be painful at times, but she'll only be a member at that campus for 3 years. She'll be a member of the national for life.

Barb

Asia,

I’m not sure by your question if this is a GLO or BGLO. I know from reading this board that with BGLO’s, your decision is basically made before you even go to any sort of informational event. I really don’t feel qualified to go any further if that is the case (especially since there are so many helpful women on this board who know the BGLO world inside & out!).

With a GLO…they all have worthy causes that they work for. I personally would never pledge because of national “standing” or number of chapters they have. If that was all I cared about, I probably wouldn’t have pledged where I did. There is a difference between a chapter having a “bad rep” (which can be anything from slutty to geeky) and her disliking the girls. Having to live & socialize with women you detest for your whole college career is not worth it, no matter how good the national org. is. Plus, think about the other friends she makes at college and how they will view her. She’s not just an XYZ, she’s a “State U. XYZ.”

My sorority was looked at as very dweeb-like and bookish until my pledge class & the 2 or so after it. We turned that around in a hurry! But like I said, there’s a BIG difference between outward perceptions and personally disliking the members.

And being in the “top” chapter on campus is not all it’s cracked up to be, either…there were several girls who went through rush & chose our school’s “#1” chapter over us. 2 years later they were crying on our shoulders about how miserable they were and how much pressure there was to stay on top.

So all I can tell your friend is: follow your heart!! If it feels right, it is: if it doesn’t, it isn’t.

I agree with my soror AKAtude. And it does depend on BGLO or GLO, i don't know if you can join at GLO after college. But with BGLO you can and it is a Lifelong committment, but its much more difficult to join a BGLO after college since it is by invitation only. If its a BGLO i would join undergrad if she can and help the chapter out, that's what it is all about. But if its GLO then maybe just join a club, cause if i'm going to only be in a sorority for college and its miserable then forget that. good luck.

I'm in a non-BGLO, and it's for life as much as AKA or Delta or A Phi A or Kappa Kappa Gamma or Theta Chi.....

And my GLO is unique in the fact that you can also join an alumni chapter (without being an alum). It, too, is by invitation (although it's not quite the same process it is for most BGLO's, at least as far as my understanding of that is).

As far as advice for your friend..I think she should consider her options both now and after college. Why does she want to be a part of this organization? As 33girl pointed out, there is a difference between the actual chapter and the perception of that chapter. If she totally respects that GLO and really wants to be a part of it, then I think she should pursue that. Although if I just didn't *click* w/ the sisters, then I know that I, personally, would have a hard time commiting to something that big. I would also suggest she at least explore her other options, she may learn of another GLO that exceeds her expectations, or she may learn that the one she is so interested really is for her.

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SilverTurtle@greekchat.com
Phi Beta Fraternity
Phi chapter

If this particular organization is the one she truly wants to be a part of, I say she should go for it regardless of the stigma attatched on her campus. Three years may seem like a long time now, but she will be a member for a lifetime. A chapter can only be as strong as its members. Your friend could be a valuable asset to that chapter and help turn things around.

Asia,
I've been offline for a while but have stated before that I am not yet in a sorority but plan to rush next fall. I am extremely interested in a certain sorority, but unfortunately the chapter at my campus does not have the best reputation.
When I first heard the negative rumors about this sorority I was a bit turned off and started to reconsider my choice. I think you should suggest that your friend visit this particular chapter and meet some of the girls. Not only will she be remembered if she decides to rush, but she will get a general feel for the sorority. I did that and am once again fully interested in rushing.
One thing to remember is that negative information is alot easier to remember than positive and that people do love gossip. Once I visited I realized that very few girls gave this chapter their reputation, and that it only takes one to make a change (i.e. ME).

I hope your friend can work out her dilemma and that this reputation does not stop her from being apart of something she is interested in.

Best of Luck

Allison


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A mistake at least proves that somebody stopped talking long enough to do something.
~ Anonymous

Actually, if she is joinging a BGLO or a lot of the GLO's she will be joining for life, not just 4 years. Asia, your friend should join this organization if she feels it is right for her and she can make a positive impact in it!


ZetaAce

Personally I am a big fan of giving the sorority a chance. I joined a house that did not have the best rep, but it was my goal to change it. I am now one of the Vice Presidents of my sorority and am in charge of rush. Because of my awesome pledge class we are making things happen and each pledge class since mine has gotten better. Look into it. Give it a chance.

im pretty upset with certain people saying that BGLO's are for life, but GLO's are not. Just because an organization is historically black, DOES NOT mean that their level of loyalty and commitment during or AFTER college is any greater than those people who chose to join a GLO!!give the rest of us some credit !!

I think the Alum members on this board speak for the fact that GLO's are a lifetime commitment; however...I do think that members of BGLO's are much better at making it public knowledge that they are greek. I have lived in college towns before (like predominatly greek) and have not seen half the car tags, window decals, bumper stickers, umbrellas, totes, etc. as I do living in a non college town - 85% of which belong to BGLO members.

I personally try to PACE (Promote Alpha Chi Everyday) by carrying a briefcase with letters, stickers on my car, etc. I also keep up with my chapters (alum & collegiate) and financially support Nationals. I show the world that my commitment to AXO is for a lifetime. On the other hand... I just found out a couple of people I work with are also greek who don't make it known. They say they "were" an ABC at college. I have yet to meet a BGLO member who used the word "were". Until GLO members work a little harder at showing the world our commitment, people will continue to believe that its only a college thing for us....of course, as in most cases, I'm preaching to the choir! For ALL alums that are continuing to show your support and dedication to greek life...keep up the good work!

As for the original situation, I think that if she is truly dedicated to this organization based on her research, that she should go for it as long as she is prepared to work hard for a change in opinion. The perception of chapters changes like the wind depending on those involved (or not involved!) I do have a question though, does she know she'll get in? Because even if it is a GLO rather than a BGLO, membership is still by invitation only. Just wondering!



[This message has been edited by AXO Alum (edited July 10, 2000).]

AXO ALum:

VERY well put. I think your explanation as to why it may APPEAR that BGLO members discredit GLO members as not joining their organizations as a "lietime committment" was very well put and well thought out.

I don;t think people mean to discredit other organizations for not being in it for the "long haul."

To answer the question, I think the young lady should think long and hard about whether she wants to be part of a sisterhood with a "bad" reputation. If the principles of the organization mean more than the reputations of the current members, then she should go for it. I think it is easier said than done to think that she can join the sorority and "change" the reputation it has already gained for itself. Additionally, check to see if the reputation is based on a bunch of rumors. Perhaps it's all a bunch of B.S.

This is going to sound like a very flip answer, but it is serious..

If you have any doubt.. wait.. It's not for you. I say that for two reasons

First: If you really have the love for that orgainzation, other people's opinion should not bother you. It would be an open and shut case. You would either say "I'll be the one to change the image", or it would be clear to you that it was in your best intrest to wait and seek Alumnae membership.

Secondly: Once you're in, you only have one vote, and that chapter's image may get worse before it gets beter. If you have doubts now, what would your commitment level be like if you got in and the chapter members continued to replicate themselves?