New memeber candidates disrespecting actives
 

Alright we have some new member candidates and the show no respect towards active members at all. Whatever we tell them they turn around and straight ort lie to another active about it. Like one person will give them a date and they will question another person about it giving them the wrong info. I don't know if the new girls just don't listen or what, but me being in a high position am not impressed with them at all and would not be surprised if they dropped out. How can we deal with this? I know that we will not stand for new member disrespecing actives who have been in for four year though. That is just not how it is done. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

It will only get worse. Give them an ultimatum.. Reform or get out.

Re: New memeber candidates disrespecting actives
 

Drop out?

Why not just vote them out of the new member program? Or black ball them, thats why such a thing exists. We are writing a the new consitution for our fraternity now and I refuse to have less then a 9/10 vote to even instate people into the new member program.

We have a motto ...
 

... the door swings both ways.

Amen to that Hoosier!!


It is a privliage to be invited into a Greek Org. not a right.

If they are there to cause problems, then they do not need to be there at all.:mad:

we had a girl in my pledge class actually that was very disrespectful during our pledge process. The day after intiation, she was caught smoking out in her dorm room on the sorority floor and was kicked out of school. We almost lost our charter because of it as well.....

my advice - get the bad seeds out, thats what the pledge period is for....

I would talk to them about it. Have your New Member Educator sit down and tell the new girls that their irresposible behavior / mistakes with dates and information had hurt the feelings of some of the sisters. Say that you really want to build a friendship and put on fun activities that the whole chapter will enjoy. Say if they are unclear about some things, to ask. Make them a better calendar to clear up any confusion. Just tell them you expect sincerity and politeness, jsut as the sisters do from eachother. Don't mention kicking them out. See what the heartfelt talk will do, and take it from there. You never know what was a mistake or a bad week. I wish you luck!
-M

Even when you're the actives and they're the pledges, respect still has to be earned. Have you earned it?

wptw

Make them watch SL2 and then try to have a serious conversation about sisters and disrespect! :p

Be very, very careful with what you say to them. A similar situation happened in our house. Thanks to the ultra-PC, vague hazing rules, the "why are you upset about everything, pledges?" talk was misconstrued as hazing because "we were making them do things they didn't want." Like, coming to activities on time. Pre-scheduled activitites. Like their 2nd degree ceremony. And big and little events. After they were the ones who decided on the time in the first place.

As far as dates and such, all mandatory activities should be written out on a calendar within the first week of pledging so there is no question about when events occur.

If that's been done and they STILL aren't following it, I would tell them, don't let the door hit you on the way out. Hazing or no, you can't be initiated if you miss events and rituals.

The new member educator needs to talk to the new member candidates and clarify what exactly is expected of them including dates, places, and times of events. The big sisters need to reinforce that they are pledging and are required to attend certain events. Let them know that if they miss events without an excuse in advance, they will not be initiated. That is not hazing. All activities from sports to student government to choir require a level of participation from its members in order to be in good standing. If someone doesn't attend events, workouts, meeting, etc., they are dropped from the team or club or voted out of office. Greeklife should be the same.

Maybe I'm just dim after a long weekend, but I don't understand what you mean about disrespecting. I mean, if they have set details in writing as to when they are required to have events and they aren't attending, then have the NM educator explain to them the importance of the events, etc. But respect is a two way street during NM periods. If the NMs are respected, they are more likely to respect you.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I just want to clarify things a little better.
At the beginning of the pledge period the NMC's were given a typed out calender of events. Due to some conflicts a few things were changed. Actually I think it was only one date. Since then the NMC's question everything everything we give them. They will be told something three times, but then the day of that activity they call three different people and make a different excuse to each person about why they don't know it or something like that.
As for the respect aspect, they have no concept that we are actives and that we have been through the same education process that they are doing now. The way they come off is that they think we should bend to them all the time. Yes we need to make compromises and stuff, but there have been things that were heard them saying that do not show any sisterhood at all. Even they NMC's do not get along, some that really want to be in the sorority are getting left out by others who were friends before joining.
It's hard to explain because I don't really know how much I can say. So I'm sorry if its all confusing.

I understand the respect issue. I'm in the Founding class, and the Founding class is not really a class like the Alpha class. The founding class is a group of people who joined the interest group over a period of 4 years, so there are people in it with varying degrees of experiences, some (7 or so) joined only a week before colonization.

The people with more experience, myself included, sometimes feel disrespected by the newer guys because they really don't know what we went through to get to colonization. We've explained the history to them in a history session and that seemed to help a little...

I also tend to remind our associate members a little too much when they whine, that I had to pledge (technically) for a year and a half before I became a brother (colonized).

As for the, "they call three different people and make a different excuse to each person about why they don't know it or something like that," thing--It's pure crap. The only person they should call if they have a question is the associate member educator or equvilent... that way there is only one person thats the official word and there is no room to get stories crossed, and if someone doesnt know something the blame rests on one persons shoulders.