9 things I hate...
 

Ok, so it's not been a good day (or month for that matter :D) and since the hated questions thread is doing so well, I thought I'd branch off and post this for your enjoyment.

WARNING! The views (and language choices) of the following are not the views of cherub, but she does consider this pretty darn funny! Edited to tone down the profanity



9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....
I know where my watch is pal, where the @#*! is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the
entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat
it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of
course it is. Why the @#*! would you keep looking after you've
found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the @#*!ing
floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really
give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's
new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the @#*! ?? Life is the
longest damn thing anyone ever @#*!ing does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the
bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass?

what happened to 10 things. . .
 

9. People who insist on wearing those damn platform styrofoam/rubber black sandals. . .especially with every outfit the wore to the club. . .it's almost as if their shoes are screaming 'I am a freshman. I have no taste.'

8. Guys who use the phrase 'I'm not ready for a girlfriend right now' but they call you to hang out, 'chill' (in GA, it means the same as 'kick it', and don't get mad when you try to use other guys at parties to make them jealous.

7. People who talk loudly on their cell phones. If you're going to do it, at least make the conversation interesting. . .'I heard that it can give you crabs. Wait. . .you are itching? What did they look like?'

6. Guys who can't get over the blonde highlights.

5. People who are always drunker than you are at parties. There's nothing worse than having the party host already dancing semi-naked in the middle of his livingroom and you just started your second beer.

4. People who have never worked an office job in their life and trying to tell you how to deal with your supervisor/coworker problems. . .I'm sorry but you just can't quit two days before rent is due.

3. Job fairs who send their dumbest employees to answer your questions.

2. Guy friends who insist that you bring a 'couple of your sorority sisters' over to meet their friends. I'm sorry. I'm not a cockblocker. I just don't want to be in the midst of a horrendously public break-up on the QUAD when my friend decides to spill the beans on your friend's 'little man' and 'minute man' skills.

1. Being so discriminative when it comes to dating. . .

LOL, too funny :D

Re: 9 things I hate...
 

DEATH. I can definitely do death longer than life!

lol. I guess the author didn't think of that.

Touche

Re: Re: 9 things I hate...
 

Ahh, good one. :)

Re: 9 things I hate...
 

LMAO!!!:D

hahaha..cherub, i don't know where you found the list, but it is originally a george carlin skit...one of my faves, it never stops being funny! :)

:D One of my friends sent it to me in October. I totally laughed out loud in my little cubicle, then passed it around to my entire department. I'd actually been in a discussion about the remote control one a few days before I got this. I'm particularly fond of #4 and #9

edited for spelling