Disrespect within my chaper-HELP!
 

I really need some help, as I can't express my feelings to anyone in my chapter.
The reason why....I am the President, and every day, I dislike my chapter more and more. Everyone talks about how there is always a respect in our chapter, but do not act like it. A sister cannot talk without having to deal with chatter all over the room, and it annoys me to no end. In addition, when sisters act in a way that is completely inappropriate to the occasion, and are called out on it, i have had these people literally come to me and say "F*** you, I will do what I want"
I obviously love my chapter and MOST of the sisters in it, but there are those who make life for the chapter and especially myself a living you-know-what. Although it has had so much of an impact on my college experience, i think more and more every day that it is JUST A SORORITY, which i hate to think. But you know what, i work 24 hours a week and carry 15 credits, and have to do this on top of it.
I am at a loss, and really dont know what to do. Has anyone else had these feelings that can give me some advice?? I don't know where else to turn!:confused:

An idea..
 

Have you considered taking things to your chapter advisor?

Re: An idea..
 

I agree. It sounds like the problem is much bigger than what you can deal with alone. You may need more help, i.e. alumna intervention. Your chapter may not respect what you are saying because you are their age. If you do have your chapter advisor come in, then don't tell your chapter, let it be a surprise. You are going to want as many people at the meeting as possible. I read a problem similar to this in another post and what was mentioned was to just get everyone in the room and air their differences. Maybe there are subtle problems you are not aware of. Hang in there. This is good grooming for the real world, no not that MTV trash!!!!

We have a very democratic system in place already in which the advisors are present for these meetings where girls have broken rules, i just dont know how to solve the problem of general disrespect, as some of these girls even roll their eyes at our advisors (who are my saving grace)

Try and deconstruct the problem in your mind.

Definitely write it down. The way you stated it above made it kind of hard to wrap my mind around it. Not because you mispoke at all but because its a complex problem.

Sometimes its caused by a few girls in the chapter that have a certain attitude that becomes infectious . . .


Edited to add:

Is the problem just in chapter meetings? What is attendance like at events? Are there a lot of events?

What is the chapter size compared to the campus average?

Sorry to answer your questions with questions but more information helps.

But in the mean time: Take extra care of yourself physically. The problems will be much worse if you are not sleeping enough, eating correctly etc. :)

You are the Prez, but that doesn't mean everything falls on your shoulders!

You should be using parliamentary procedure at meetings and have a parliamentarian who keeps things under control. No one should be interrupted while they are talking in meeting (I'm assuming this is what you mean). If the parliamentarian can't handle this duty, she needs a refresher course in her duties.

As for sisters who are acting inappropriately, or just being plain pains in the butt, do you have a standards board? It should be made up of a variety of sisters. They are the ones who should take care of people who are doing things like this - not the president.

Don't feel that you have to handle everything - you should have an exec board to help you. A prez who takes on everything herself, no matter how well meaning, will not be effective. It sounds like this is what you are doing - I don't mean to be critical, but a sisterhood is a democracy. One person can't bear the responsibility for it.

NeedingHelp, I PMed you with very valuable info.

You're going to need the cooperation of your entire executive board and advisors to fix this problem.

Currently, my organization is wrapping up an issue related to respect for others -- it took six months, a lot of informal group discussions, and much preaching by the advisors to get people to let go of their egos and superior attitudes that interfered with the daily operations, as well as infecting some brothers with apathetic attitudes.

For example, just today, a monetary discussion over email occured. One brother put down our Treasurer when the Treasurer expressed concerns about our recent heavy purchasing sprees (funds are temporarily low). The rest of the executive members recognized the put-down and immediately rebuked the brother for his disrespect of an officer. I didn't have do a thing, when last year in this situation I would get insulted for weeks after ordering a member to tone down insulting others. BIG improvement!

It's going to take time, and effort, but ultimately, the disrespectful ones will be weeded out because they can dish it out, but can't take it from 5 or 6 superiors who can make their life miserable.

I would start your next meeting out with an announcement of the objectives of your sorority, and the characteristics of an ideal member. This would make the others reflect on their actions in the future. Also, try to have your meetings follow parlimentary procedure as closely as possible to avoid unnecessary chatter. And consider seating sisters in alphabetical order to break up the cliques.

Hope this helps.