HELP!!!What do I do and what do I say???
 

Okay, I turn once more to the members of GC to figure out my love life...


Okay last saturday was our initiation party for our 2002 pledge class. I had a great time and of course got totally wasted. I'm still finding out who I talked to that night, good friends I don't even remember being there and such.

Today I was going through my phone and I got the number of this girl Claire in XO, thing is I don't remember what she looks like or anything vital. Talking to a bunch of friends, I've determined that she's cute and I should call her. Actually I've decided that I'm going to call her sometime and the sooner the better, but I'm not sure of a couple things

When should I call her our new initiates are having a frosh mixer with XO tommorow night and there is a good possibility that she'll be there...do I go to the after hours if she's there? Should I call first?
I've got some of the freshmen who will call me if she's there.

What do I say to her if I call? Should I ask her if I can take her to dinner (wow an actual date :eek:)? Is that too much? I mean it'd basically be like a blind date double :eek:. If I dont' ask her on a date what should I do? (I can't guarentee that we'll be having a party of any sort this weekend...we're low on party houses and we dont' drink in our house at all...)

Any help would be appreciated...

When should I call her- It would be the easiest and most "unassuming" to show up at the end. You can each get a clearer look at each other. Then, face to face, say (in YOUR cool way) wanna do something this weekend..like have dinner/movie/bowling/putt-putt/clubbing? Less pressure and clear cut results-either yes or no.

If you miss her at the mixer, then call her next day and do the "I was thinking about you blah-blah-blah, hoped I'd see you last night," more blah-blah. "Wanted to ask if you would like to do something"

Maybe a better alternative (since its THURSDAY) is to call and ASK if she is going to the mixer say you wanted to see her (NOT I've been meaning to call)...it could just ease into asking her out.

If you have a double set up, make SURE they are the open, friendly type who everyone can get along with and won't focus on themselves or the relationship between the three of you.

Waiting until the mixer would work since you really don't know each other that well (or maybe you'll find out that you do...;) ).

Another thing you *could* do, if you REALLY want to see this girl, is give her a call and say, "Hey, I know we have that mixer tomorrow, but would you like to go grab some coffee first?" Then you can hang out with her one-on-one and you're guaranteed to at least see her for a little while. With a lot of mixers I've been to, there wasn't much time for one-on-one talking. If you do something fairly informal first - like the coffee - you have some time to talk and see if you'd want to take her out on an actual date. As a bonus, you won't have to try to track her down at the mixer, since depending on the activity, that might not be much of an option. If all goes well, you can either make a point to hang out with her that night, or, if you don't get to talk some more at the mixer, you've already found out if she's worth a second date. :)

Good luck and let us know what happens!!

Real quickly...explanation of the situation tonight

At Nebraska we have what we call froshes...freshmen in a fraternity and sorority go to some sober activity then afterhours. Our freshmen are taking the ChiO freshmen bowling.

I'm a sophomore hence not allowed to go to the sober activity, and the afterhours involvement varies from week to week as to whether it's okay that older guys show up or not.

So that unfortunetly rules out the idea of coffee (although it was a great idea).

I'm leaning towards right now calling her tommorow b/c I have to be up very early tommorow to help run a HS Senior visit day in the morning (730 comes way to early to those whose first class is at 1030!!!)

I think that you should call her and see if she is going to afterhours. If you just show up there and go talk to her, she might be thinking, "Why the heck didn't this guy call me? He took the slacker way out and just waited for me to show up somewhere!" Or worse yet, you could walk in and she spot you first, say "Hi" to you , and you'd have no clue who she was! Bad news! I say call her, say you were thinking of going to afterhours, and tell her you'd love to see her there.

Just call her and arrange to see her, either at the after hours or on a date.

I was so wasted when I met mr amycat that our 1st official date was basically a blind date, i had no idea what he'd look like other than vague impressions my equally as wasted friends had given me. That was almost 7 months ago and we're still going strong.

Is she a freshman? If not, you could call her up and arrange to do something while everyone's at the mixer and then head to afterhours. :)

OMG, Amy, are you my secret twin??? I was wasted as all hell when I met my boy, and I didn't even remember most of what we talked about that night. So I was really nervous when I went to meet him for our first date (that ended up lasting for 5 days). I was sitting there waiting for him, thinking over and over "Please let him be cute."

He is cute, we're still together. :)

So yeah, I say you should call her NOW. Let us know what happens, and good luck!! :)

LOL Valkyrie! I couldn't remember what we talked about the night we met either. It was like I'd try to remember and it was like watching a movie w/o sound. I'd see us there, talking, flirting, but I had NO IDEA what we'd talked about. 4 days elapsed between meeting him and the first official date--so we'd had about 10 phone conversations, and I kept saying, please don't be offended if I don't recognize you, I was just soooo wasted the other night. :)

Call, but make sure she remembers you too. But don't be "I was drunk, were you drunk too" just asume she does but pick up if you here in here voice a tone of "who the f are you?" Good luck playa

How'd this go for you?

Okay, here's what ended up happening.

Our freshmen had the frosh and she was there, but I ended up not being able to make it to the afterhours session b/c at 830 I remembered I had a paper due the next day (although the prof moved the due date to tomorrow without telling anyone...) and I had to be up at 7 for a HS senior visit day.

Not only do I help out on these HS senior visit days by working in the morning but I also give campus tours in the afternoon. Turns out this girl does too, and I ended up seeing her, figuring out it was her and confirming that I had met her the previous weekend. However, upon seeing in a sober frame of mind she wasn't my type of girl. She definetly seemed like someone that I wouldn't normally talk to, so I just let it drop. I have no plans of calling her as of right now.

Good thing you didn't call her in the first place... she would have just gotten all excited, and then you would have had to blow her off...

I was hoping it would turn out good for the BOTH of you.:(

Ladies (and GENTLEmen), keep this in mind next time you wonder why some guy/girl drops the ball after a "wonderful" night at a bar. You know that old C&W song that goes, "All the women get better looking at closing time..."

Betarulz, you seem like a real nice guy. Hope you find a sweetie.
If the attraction "aint" there, it just aint there...

I would just like to say that she was cute, and physically attractive....just not my type...