A question for the guys....
 

Okay fellas...I have always wanted to know the answer to this question...it's just taken me a while to figure out how to word it! If this offends anyone, I'm sorry....It certainly wasn't meant to.

When your fraternity holds a party, does it piss you off when members of another fraternity show up? I mean, let's say that you are a member of XYZ and a few guys from ABC show up in letter shirts. Does this anger you? Or are you happy to show them some love and let them join in your fun?

This is the reason I ask...several times I have been at a fraternity party and met a nice young man. I ask him "How long have you been a Kappa Lambda Nu?" (note...fictional fraternity). Then he replies "Oh I a Mu Tau Pi, not a Kappa Lambda Nu." Then I ask "Why are you here?" Then I get the response "I dunno". It just seems, well, weird to me. Why would you want to attend another party thrown by another fraternity? Now I'm not saying that this isn't a good thing...it's nice to see guys get along. What I'm saying is that I feel like parties are kinda a way to bond with your brothers. Plus, one time, very long ago, I was attending a fraternity party and I was forced into a room by a young man. Fortunatly, I was sober and I got away without any problems. However, when I reported it to security, the brothers of this particular fraternity didn't know who I was talking about. The guy I identified was not a member of the XYZ fraternity....

Anyways, sorry this is so long, I was just curious!
Blaire

Despite my gender, I can answer this...
 

I am a female, so I can't give the guys perspective, but when we have a party, we welcome anyone. The point of having an all campus party is to give everyone something to do. We welcome girls of any sorority to attend our parties. There are instances that we only want our girls there, but those are usually private things within the house. It is nice for everyone to forget their affiliation for a little bit and just hang out together.

Also from a girl's POV, but totally different from Mandy's thoughts on the issue. At USC guys from other frats are pretty much strictly forbidden from another frats parties. There are a few exceptions, but not many!

At USC, most frat parties go something like this: The frat having the party puts up a gate or something around their lawn and have a single entrance which usually has outside security (but occasionally just some bros) acting as bouncers. Every bro (and pledge) gets a wristband or something to indicate to the security that they are allowed in. Then for all other guys (Greek or not) wanting to attend the party they have to be on a list that the frat compiles at chapter of their close friends that they know want to come. This list usually also includes all the stars of the sports teams too, just because if they are there, it makes the frat look cool. If a guy wants to go to the party, and he is not a bro, a sports star, or on the list, then he must have at least three girls wiht him that will tell the bouncer they arent coming in unless he can come too.

If a guy manages to get in and a bro doesn't approve or if a girl complains about a non-bro, he is thrown out immediately. Also, some frats also have a strict non-entry list where certain names are definately not allowed in. These usually include the new boyfriends of bro's ex's, guys that depledged, and other stuff like that.

If they're there to party and have a good time and not to start shit, then f*ck yeah they're welcome.

I would say it depends on the climate of rush at the school, and the relationship with the other fraternity.

At my school fall formal rush is cutthroat, and unless a guy was on IFC exec we would question his motives for being there. I could see where the guy from XYZ may be asked to leave our rush party, but in a way that would not make us look un-gentlemenly.
This year we had guys from other fraternities show up to our Bid Day party, and showed love. We thought it was a compliment that the biggest night with all the fraternities, and they came over to our party. But not DURING rush, things are just too competitive

I'm not a guy so I guess I should just stay out of this one and let the men answer, but this is a sore subject with me. Once I took my boyfriend to a party that my sorority was having with a fraternity, but it wasn't an official date party function or anything...just a regular party, so I thought it would be all right. Well, as soon as we walked in, several guys in the fraternity pounced on my boyfriend and were yelling at him, asking him why he was there. They hauled him off to the kitchen to talk to him "in private," and he had to put up with the third degree about who he was, etc. The guys made fun of his accent, and spoke to him as though he couldn't understand English (which is his native language). And on top of all that, they demanded that he PAY them for the privilege of staying at "their" party! My boyfriend paid them, of course, even though I think he should have told those guys to kiss off. Just what were they trying to accomplish? I was thorougly angry, and to this day I try and avoid going to functions with that fraternity because of the way they behaved.

Oops! I guess I hit the button twice. Sorry. :o

your question
 

I would have no problem with a member of a different Fraternity coming into my house. I think it shows unity among a campus' Greek community.

depends on the party.
if its just a shit night, then we dont really care.
if its a big party, then there is a guest list. if you are in another fraternity and we know some of the guys you are with we will usually let you in too so we can have good relations. it goes both ways. i always get into the other fraternity parties.

I don't know how it is at bigger schools, but at Montana State, we don't mind if other fraternities come to each other's parties, as long as they are on the guest list. For our larger parties, we generally send a list to each of the other fraternities and invite 10 members from each chapter, and the other houses will do the same for us.

They cracked down on the parties last year, so it's pretty rare when anyone does have an advertised party. But my freshman year, all guys were welcome at all parties... however one fraternity really wasn't as welcome, because they have an attitude problem. Their pledges, however, were still welcome (I think they they were hoping their pledges would drop the fraternity they were pledging and join theirs). Guys from other fraternities didn't really show up to their parties unless it was their biggest one of the year.

My boyfriend is a TKE and stopped by the Pike house with me last year during Rush. One of the rushees there asked my boyfriend if he was a brother and he nervously muttered something about being in another fraternity, because he didn't want them to think he came to their house to steal rushees. The guy wouldn't drop it and asked him what fraternity he was in and my boyfriend had to repeat himself 3 times because he was muttering.

The Pikes just laughed about it though, because he lived on a floor with a bunch of them freshman year. They came up to him and said, "Come on Brad, we're not gonna kill ya!" It was kinda funny but he wanted to get out of there.

I think i'm going to go the opposite way of most of the guys on here, but i think this just stems from having been risk reduction chair for a year.

The only guys i want to have at our parties are my brothers, close personal friends of theirs, or brothers from other schools. To me this is just from a liability standpoint. The last thing i want is for some random guy that none of us know to do something that we can get blamed for. When we have our big official parties we always have guest lists, and if a guy isn't on the guest list he doesn't get in.

That being said, if a member of another fraternity is well known by one of my bros, he's more than welcome. But, too often we've had just random parties and seen other Greeks there and soon thereafter get notices of investigations by IFC for party violations. The only time i'd feel comfortable partying with other guys like that is if our fraternities are jointly throwing a party, an event that i'm all for.

Kitso
KS 361 random guys we've had to throw out of parties at the Ponderosa

AggieSigmaNu361- That being said, if a member of another fraternity is well known by one of my bros, he's more than welcome.

The PIKES and Sigma Chis always ended up together unless it was a specal party like a toga, formal, Derby Days... It made for GREAT parties because they were undoubtable the strongest two fraternities on campus. Every now and then the Delta Sigs would be a part of the mix as well. This was a commuter campus where Greek life was small however and the more guys, the more girls that would show. Kind of a "win, win" situation.

My daughter told me it happens from time to time at LSU, but they don't look to kindly on it.

Purdue
 

At Purdue they also have a list, each brother and pledge lists thier guests under thier name. Each sorority and fraternity involved is on the list with thier guests below. Recently at my boyfriend's house they were angry bc there were tons of random guys there that the pldges invited bc it was thier first party to put names on the list and they invited alot of thier guy friends. so now there is a rule that you have to have 3 girls to one guy on your guest list, to prevent your party being taken over by random guys drinking your beer the fraternity pays for. so no, other than the the houses that are having the party/ paying for the alcohol with your house, other fraternities are not really welcome.

Did I mention girls are kind of in short supply at an engineering school like Purdue?

At my school parties are looked at a time for us and guests to get together and have a lot of fun so we dont allow other fraternities and all the fraternites agree to this. The only time this rule is waved is during rush when we have open parties but the other fraternites respect us enough to not come.