rules of the game
 

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes,and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry,that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

1. SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed..............................................+ 1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1
You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
in the snow.............................................. .....+8
but return with beer..........................................-5
and no liners............................................ ....-25

You check out a suspicious noise at night..................... 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
You pummel it with a six iron................................+10
It's her cat............................................... ..-40

2. AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party......................... 0
You stay by her a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy........-2
Named Tiffany........................................... ......-4
Tiffany is a dancer..........................................-10
With breast implants.........................................-18

3. HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday............................... 0
You buy a card and flowers.............................. 0
You take her out to dinner.............................. 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night..........................-3


4. A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal....................................... 0
The pal is happily married..........................+1
The pal is single...................................-7
He drives a Ferrari.................................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15


5, A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie...................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes.........................+4
You take her to a movie you hate..........................+6
You take her to a movie you like..........................-2
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15

6. YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.........................-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it....+10
You develop a pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy shirts....-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too!"...........-800

7. THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding......................-10
You reply, "Where?".............................-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"..........-100
Any other response..............................-2

8. COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression....................0
You listen, for over 30 minutes..................................+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience........+50
You're mind wanders and you hear her saying "well, what do you think?"...-100
You have fallen asleep.........................................-200

9. ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH.......
You talk.........................................-100
You don't talk...................................-150
You spend time with her..........................-200
You don't spend time with her....................-500
You are seen to be enjoying yourself...... GAME OVER - YOU LOSE

I think you may have a working model here... I'd probably be in the hole a few million points by now:D

Guys....

Learn 'em
Love 'em
Live 'em :D

LOL. No parties?

Any girl who has those as the rules is not getting with this guy:p those were utterly ridiculous.

Basically anything that is not directly done for her gets you docked...I mean -2 points for going to talk to one of MY friends irregardless of gender or any other conditions (like perhaps his mom died two weeks ago???).

Total bullshit, and any girl who agrees with these should reexamine herself as to why no one goes out with her for longer than 3 weeks

There are no rules to the game.

The trick is to play the girls before they play you.

This is not meant to be taken seriously. -10 points for not have a sense of humor.

-50 points for bad grammar

Irregardless is NOT a word.

:p

SO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guys, take note. You could learn a FEW things by this list. ;) :p

Actually in his defense it is a word. It can be found in the dictionary. It is used mostly in speech, however the proper term should be REGARDLESS. So, technically it is a word.

Hahaha my thoughts exactly!!! He should actually get like -100 points b/c a guy without a sense of humor, just makes me so :mad: and :(. I hate that!!!

-25 points for use of 'emoticons'

go back 4 spaces, do not collect $200

Also in my defense, that reply was not to be taken as serious...

This is correct Irregardless is a word.