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Just something to think about...
I had to write this for final closure of the following situtation. For the past two weeks I had tried to prove my love to a nobody that really wasn't worth the last year and some months of my time. Why you ask? I find myself reflecting on this especially what happened last night. In a nutshell, he put his hands on me and told me that I didn't mean sh*t to him. Now this is after I was there when he didn't have a job, no money, his own mama put him out of her house and countless other times. I bit the bullet and stood by him regardless of what others thought/said because (during that point) that's who I wanted: him. When you're in love you are blinded to the serious imperfections one might have. Especially when it those same imperfections that can put at you risk/harm's way. He told me that his BABY (an ex who was just a "friend") would be home next week and that they were hooking back up! Mind you, this is the same ex that didn't give two cents about him. When I cried (just found out last night about the ex and true feelings during the so call altercation), he laughed like this was funny. I had real love for him that surpassed unreal. I prayed about it, let my bittness in my heart go and washed my hands clean of all of it. My grandmother always said that God don't like ugly and what you do will come back ten fold (good/bad). I have a daughter and the last thing I want her to think that a man will complete her. For awhile I was gulity of that. I am writing this for closure for me and info for all the sisterfriends. It going to hurt a little bit but time heals all wounds. Everybody plays the fool sometimes...
once it's on you, twice it's on me. I apologize for the length but I had to get this off my chest. LaDeia PS As I was typing this, his job called me and said that he was terminated this morning for no call/no show. Guess who was his ride to work? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: |
Hey Sistafriend
Girl, GOD will bless you abundantly. Although it may hurt now, remember, that you will be a better woman (not to mention role model for your daughter :) ) for it. Right now it may be hard to forget your feelings for this man, but you will overcome. Remember....
Count your blessings instead of your crosses, Count your gains instead of your losses. Count your joys instead of your woes, Count your friends instead of your foes. Count your smiles instead of your tears, Count your courageinstead of your fears. Count your full years instead of your lean, Count your kind deeds instead of your mean. Count your health instead of your wealth, Count on GOD instead of yourself. :) - Author unknown BE BLESSED! |
I know you feel bad right now, but in actuality you should be shouting for joy, a burden lifted. From your words, it appeared you just had another male child to take care of. Everybody makes mistakes, but as long as you have learned something from it, the lesson overshadows the mistake. I hope you have learned. Love yourself, your baby, and do you. When God feels it's your time for a good man, He will send him to you....trust that. ;)
Also, if he put his hands on you, I hope you have filed assault charges and throw in a restraining order for good measure. After all, he's worth it. |
:) I really appericate that thru tears smiles will come. Afrochic, I didn't even think about filing a report! Your right he is worth it :D Pray for me please!
LaDeia "...I am sick and tired of being sick and tired..." -Fannie Lou Hamer |
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