sponsors/recs
 

I know this has been discussed before, but I still don't get it and want to try to understand.

I keep hearing about sponsors or recommendations. I understand that a PNM may get recs on her own, say, if she knows an alumna of a particular organization and that woman writes a rec for her and sends it to the chapter. Cool.

What I don't get is this mysterious process of a sorority getting a rec for someone. How does this happen? Does the sorority have an advisor or someone else write a rec for a PNM that the collegiate members like but who the writer does not know? How is this helpful? Why bother writing it at all? Does the rec writer actually meet with the PNM before writing it, or is it really just a formality?

It also seems very stressful for a PNM to be thinking about how she couldn't get a rec on her own but *hopefully* they like her enough to come up with one somehow.

I understand that some organizations require recs at some point in the process. Why? How does a rec written by someone who doesn't really know the PNM help? Isn't this just silly?

Re: sponsors/recs
 

Yes! :p

I can understand telling a PNM she needs to get the recs on her own - that would show that a) she has the gumption to do it b) she has a pleasing enough personality to ask and not get turned down c) if she doesn't know any sorority members, she has the brains to find the nearest alum Panhel and get recs that way. I can understand asking a PNM to do that and cutting her if she does not, the same as she is required to have a certain GPA or she automatically gets cut.

But having to dig up (not literally) an alum to put her stamp of approval on a girl you have already decided to bid? WTH is the point? Are there actually alums out there who would be spiteful enough to say "I'm sorry, but Jenny is the sister of the roomate of the girl who took away my 8th grade boyfriend, and I don't care if you all love her, no way is she going to be an XYZ!"

This confuses me too, since many of our PNMs are first generation Greeks and most of them do not have refs.... If we required them, then we'd get like 10 pledges!

Correction
 

Actually, Pi Beta Phi DOES require sponsorship for membership...but the rushee does not have to obtain it. Breathesgelatin -- I PM'd you.

Ahh... GreekChat is being funny at me... It won't let me delete the last post...

I had never heard we had to have RIFs before... Because there's a backup method if you don't have one... I stand corrected however :)

How well should I know someone if I am going to ask them for a rec?

Should I send them all the information they may need, such as high school gpa, current gpa, volunteer & leadership and campus involvement info, etc so they will have the info there?

Should I ask to meet with them if I don't know them very well?

I know I would feel rather strange asking a woman that didn't know me from Adam to write a rec for me. Is this even acceptable?

In other words, help please?

If you know a member (alum or active) well enough, ask her advice on what to do. She will probably be more than happy to help you secure references to all the groups on your campus.

You could also mention in conversation to those you don't know well that you will be attending college and plan on going through recruitment. You could ask them their advice also, and I'll bet they will be glad to help you, too.

Whenever I know that someone is going to college, I'll ask them if they plan on going through recruitment. Then I offer to help them get references, even if there is not a Kappa chapter on that campus.

It's so tedious when the "old school" alums get all haughty and huffy if someone asks for a reference. It's a Catch-22 otherwise! I am so flattered that the PNM is interested in Kappa that I couldn't care less who asked whom!

Kappa requires references for each new member.

I feel like a stuck record...

If you know any of the girls in your town that went through recruitment, ask them if they had recs and WHO wrote them.
Ask your friends' mothers.

Check around and see if you have a Panhellenic Alum assoc. Ours writes recs for the Seniors every year, but you have to pursue it.
We go through the HS office. Some still have to find their own for several sororities, but once you get into it, you can USUALLY find out who to call.

MSKKG-You could also mention in conversation to those you don't know well that you will be attending college and plan on going through recruitment. You could ask them their advice also, and I'll bet they will be glad to help you, too.
Excellent-TELL EVERYONE-ASK EVERYONE!

From both sides: when I was rushing, several acquaintances of my parents got in touch with them, expressed their happiness that I was rushing, and that they were most happy to give me a good rec. Some were friends, some teachers, some friends of friends - but I was definitely checked out.

As an active, I was Rec Chairman one semester. You'll have some prior to Recruitment, mostly from legacies and friends of alumnae. If you have an alumnae group in whatever town that the pnm is from, let them do the work for you. When all else fails, contact her high school (if she's a freshman) and ask to speak to a teacher or guidance counselor. I only had one pnm flat out rejected - a bad rec from an alumna. I heard why much later (through someone who had gone to high school with her), but our rec sheets had a box to just mark "no" without any explanation. When I heard the reason why this particular pnm was rejected, I agreed that it was more than justified. (since I'm not mentioning any names, she had a criminal background)

honeychile

Again it goes to show how multifaceted the Greek system is.

When you're going through recruitment at a big school or one with lots of competition, it goes without saying that you need recommendations, preferably from alumnae as close as possible to the chapter in question. However, at a school like mine, it's unheard of. Women usually have to be talked into going through Recruitment in the first place. What would they say if, after long hours of discussion, they finally agree to go through and you tell them that now they need to track down and obtain recommendations from alumnae from all three sororities? They'd run screaming and our system would be dead. We do our best to make it as easy as possible for them.

But how does it work where the chapter is supposed to secure a recommendation? (If someone has answered this, please disregard...my speed-reading skills probably aren't up to par.) If PNMs need to get their own recs, then why does the recruitment application the school sends out specifically say that recs are not necessary and if the chapter wants one, it is their responsibility to obtain it? (My school has about 30,000 and recruitment is a big deal.) It seems that a statement like that would lead PNMs into believing that they don't need to get recs, and then their chances of pledging the house they want are ruined because they took the advice on the application.

I totally agree with this! When I rushed my freshman year at UGA, I was the first person in my family to go through rush. I had no idea what a rec was, let alone where to get one. When I got to my rush group, several girls were talking about how they not only had a rec to every house on campus, but had more than one to their favorites.

Maybe it's just my straightforward nature, but I would have rather known right up front that I stood little chance of getting a bid at UGA without a rec. They should definately change that wording at schools with a competitive recruitment process, but that is just my opinion :)

(I just love your screen name, and would love to know the story behind it!)

FWIW, I've never heard of a pnm having to provide their own rec. We always had to hunt them down ourselves, with the help of our alumnae - no mean feat when recruitment is only a week long!

honeychile

Recs weren't required at my school or for my sorority. I don't think we would have known what to do with a rec if we'd gotten one :p

I always thought that any mention of recs on the application form, website, information pamphlet, etc. (e.g. "Oh, don't worry about recs, the sororities will get them for you") was secret code for "You'd better have a rec if you want to get past round 1." Unfortunately, many PNMs don't figure that out until it's too late!

It's still best, I think, to line up recs on your own. Who's going to write a better rec - your mom's best friend who's known you since you were born, or some stranger you've never met?

Well, it all started in 1976 when four guys from Dublin decided to form a rock band...

Anyway, to make a long story short, that band put out an album in the early 90s called "Achtung Baby," and their biggest fan in the entire universe (me) decided about 10 years later to use it as her screen name because it's one of her favorite albums. The "80" part is the year I was born. :p