What do you consider secret?
 

Sisters:
I was having an off-line discussion with a friend about message boards and what I think should and should not be discussed in this forum. My opinions are shaped by my intial education in Alpha Delta Pi. My chapter was very clear on what they felt was "for ADPis only" and what was open. We always erred on the side of caution. I wonder if this is an attitude that is simply been lost, or if others might agree with me. Frankly while speaking with my friend I had a pretty long list of what I was
taught was for "ADPis only" and I suppose I stil feel that this rules applies on-line as well. The list that I came up with includes:

1. Initiation...I was taught that NO details, none whatsoever,
of this should be discussed with anyone outside of another initiated sister of Alpha Delta Pi. At my chapter we were taught to politely defer any questions about Sorority ritual.

2. More serious sorority events such as Pinning, and the days leading up to initiation. These were for ADPi ears only. Certainly you could speak in vague, general terms, but in reality no one else needs to be involved in these events, so why bother them with the details?

2. Recruitment planning. Having been a Rush Chair (we called it rush then) this one was a big one for me. All the details to be discussed belonged solely to ADPis.

Am I hopelessly left in the dark ages with these opinions? I am somewhat surprised what people are willing to disscuss openly on a message board that can be read by absolutely anyone.
What do you all think?
violets

Secret is basically anything I can't tell to someone who isn't an initiated member of Delta Zeta.

AchtungBaby80,
Yes, I know that what I wrote initially may seem a simplistic post...and maybe that's the point of your response. However, as a fairly long time member of my sorority I find that some posts on this board indicate that my definition of secret and another woman's may be quite different. So to prevent the debate over semantics (let's not get into all our definitions of "secret) I listed the events that take place within the sorority year that I consider to be off limits to write or speak about with anyone outside ADPi.
I just wanted a guage of what my other ADPis consider okay to post about and what they would never write about.
violets

Right, sorry, I didn't mean to crash your boards! But I just meant that everything you mentioned is stuff I wouldn't talk about. The ADPi chapter at my school is very "secretive," too, so I wouldn't say you were old-fashioned. Not "secretive" in a bad way, but they respect their sorority and rarely talk about the things you mentioned.

AchtungBaby80,
You were absolutely NOT "crashing" in any way, shape or form. Please accept my apology if I made you feel as if you were. To spark some discussion was my only goal so I am flattered that you would have taken the time to respond, truly. I respect your posts as well as your organization, and I'm sure my fellow sisters would echo my sentiments.

I just identify strongly with the way you described the ADPi chapter on your campus. This is the way that my chapter functioned. But I have to say that most of the other organizations on my campus were pretty much the same way. I guess I'm interested to see that in this age of such open information that the ideas of what should not be discussed in regards to sorority life have changed as much as I am feeling they have.

I appreciate your contribution to the discussion.
Greek love,
violets

violets, i really don't think that you are in the dark ages at all -- i also have been educated that each of the things that you mentioned is esoteric -- not to be talked about with anyone not initiated unless depending on the situation they are about to be initiated... including clothing, which it seems is often talked about on here... the fact that we have diamond days leading up to initiation isn't a secret, i think we're fairly proud of diamond days, but the activities that we do are not open to the public, they are for the sisters... and we don't discuss much of it outside the sorority...

when it comes to recruitment, i think the basics, what the pnm's are exposed to (like the fact that we do songs, a skit, etc), is not necessarily esoteric, but the planning that takes place, the way we as sisters work on the other side, dealing with recruitment and our philosophy of it, as well of course as any... other stuff is not for anyone else to be concerned with, other than to know that the way our recruitment selection is structured is meant to be a positive experience, and does not embody the stereotypical sororities/fraternities "vote" or "blackball" or whatnot...

having discretion about what is made public about the sisterhood is smart.... it keeps what makes us special, special to only us! i know on an online forum it can be very relaxed.... we have a tap system for standards that was started last year when we're out... one tap on the shoulder means take it slow, watch yourself, two means hey you're treading a thin line, and three taps means, hey you fell of the proverbial wagon here, maybe you need to seriously watch your actions/stop what you're doing/go home... i think this is done out of concern for the sister and wanting to make sure she doesn't do something she would regret, and in the end will be better for having someone watch her back for her... if i saw a sister online being loose with info i wouldn't hesitate to pm her and i would take a pm reminding me of discretion to heart and be glad of it i think.
anyways i dont' know if any of the immediate above was on topic or is just a tangent ..... ok i'm leaving now load of work, yay :rolleyes:
pi lovin,
~jenaya:D

Thank you for the kind words, Achtung Baby - and may I say, I love your screen name!

That being said, we always said that, "The D in ADPi stands for Discretion." I don't believe that any part of ritual (pledging, Diamond Days/Friendship Week, Initiation, etc) belongs outside of the sisterhood. And especially on the Internet!

I have no problem with telling ancedotes that don't reveal anything, but to talk about the actual ceremony is a Standards issue, in my book. I was absolutely appalled to see a post revealing a little too much for my liking - and I had others confirm that it was out of line (ADPis and otherwise). If that makes me old fashioned or out of line, so be it. Hey, I even feel funny using "Loyally" on these boards!

Violets, violets to you for starting this thread!

honeychile

i fully agree with all of you that certain things about our sisterhood shouldn't be talked about on here or anywhere else unless it is in person with your other sisters who are initiated. i do believe in my opinion that part of the wonderful sisterhood is to share the bonds and its special because you and your sisters only know what makes adpi and how works. i do think it is alright to talk about what kind of activities you do throughout the year such as mistletoe madness. and to tell everyone that you do have rush going on and how many members you got on bid day because thats just something that you would want to share everyone, however to talk about how you went through the rush process and what you did each night, etc. should not be talked with other individuals. as for initiation and ritual as i learned within my sorority and i truely believe it should not be talked about. those things are special and should be special to adpi's only considering thats a major part of our sorority and to us. i do want to say violets that you aren't in the dark age because everything that you did say was what i was taught and think shouldn't be talked about on the outside. i'm not sure if any of this has been done before considering i'm still fairly new on here and don't have time to get on very often. we should really stop to think about what our open motto says. ...."We Live for Each Other" means what it says...not that we live for women that aren't our sisters which I believe also means that individuals who aren't our adpi sisters shouldn't be let in on what is special and sacred to us. sorry i'm not sure if that line really made a whole lot of sense..i know what i was trying to say but its not exactly coming out right this morning.
p.s. i have something totally off subject to ask of all of my sisters....will you pray for my mom because she had surgery yesterday and right now she is in the ICU unit until they see how things are going and whether it was successful...i would really appreciate it.

pi love,
Kayla